Monday, June 19, 2006

Some more of my off-the-wall ideas...

Every once in awhile I get these rather off-the-wall ideas based on things I see/hear/read. For those of you who are new to my off-beat ideas and sometimes unusual postings-- some of my more interesting ideas of the past include:

A Chinese/Canadian Fusion Restaurant (I'd like an extra large order of sweet and sour poutine please!)
Reuben Pizza (a pizza with Thousand Island pizza sauce topped with swiss cheese and chunks of corned beef and sauerkraut on rye crust with carraway seeds)
Reuben Burrito (see above and use your imagination, I'm sure you can figure it out on your own)
LHMM (Liga Hockey de Mexicano Mujeres-- or Mexican Women's Hockey League-- don't ask, this idea came up after drinking a few pitchers of beer after having dinner with my friends at a Mexican dive restaurant-- then again I came up with the first two of these ideas on the same night)
NCL (National Cricket League-- Cricket is huge in England, Australia, India, and many nations of the British Commonwealth but has never really caught on here... let's give it a try)

And more recently-- just a year or so ago I came up with a new form of Vegetarianism. This was kind of inspired by the British sitcom Coupling. There's one particular episode (Inferno) where one of the characters, Jane, claims she's "bi-vegetarian" which she explains as being "a vegetarian open to new things... such as eating meat." I took that idea in a somewhat different direction-- a vegetarian who eats only the meat of vegetarian animals.

AND... thanks to a recent post by curare_z I've extrapolated upon my meat-eating vegan idea-- my latest nugget: a soy-based steak sauce! It would be marketed exclusively to the meat-eating vegan market.

My other nugget-- isn't culinarily based: A television station that shows only pornographic movies... with all of the pornographic scenes removed. Showing the existing porn movies with the porn removed would make it all too obvious how bad the writing/acting/etc (as if it's not already glaringly obvious) is and I really think it would force porn actors and actresses to have some level of acting ability and would also force porn screenwriters to have some semblance of writing talent which would include something more than just "insert ad-libbed sex scene here" or "insert random Ron Jeremy cameo here." I realize that people generally don't watch porn for the plot development or acting ability of the stars-- it's generally more about the mams, the gams, and the money shots. But I think the porn industry could really tap into more markets if they put more time/effort into what is generally considered the "filler" material (which ironically are generally the scenes which DON'T involve "filling" things).

8 comments:

The Phoenix said...

I watch porn for the storylines.

Green Eyes said...

I'm with Phoenix. Storylines only! Probably should try a screenplay, give you more "filler."

Susan as herself said...

I worry that "porn movies without the porn scenes" would be about four minutes long, including the credits. :)

Bruce said...

There's acting in porn flicks???

Snooze said...

I think in Quebec they do have every variation of poutine imagineable. I like the sound of your fusion restaurant.

St. Dickeybird said...

I'd love that porn channel! They'd be hilarious.

As for the sports, how about north america finally accepting soccer as a grownup sport??? Or Rugby - it's sexy and violent.

Perplexio said...

Phoenix & Green Eyes: Did you see the one about the pizza boy? What about the one about the plumber and the neglected housewife?

Susan: Just imagine all of the commercial breaks they'd need to add to stretch the movie out to 60 or-- even worse 120 minutes!

Bruce: Good point. It's debatable... There seem to be 2 extremes, overwrought overacting and at the opposite end of the spectrum minimalist cue-card/teleprompter reading.

Snooze: Whaddya say you & I stay in and order in Canadian tonight? ;-)

Dickeybird: Thank you! I was beginning to think I was the only one who saw the full humor potential of porn-less porn.

As for soccer, I've tried, I can't get into it the way I get into hockey, American football, or baseball.

Now, Rugby on the other hand-- back when the missus and I still had ESPN International on our cable line-up I would sit mesmerized as I'd watch Rugby. I thought it was fantastic!

Curare_Z said...

I'm catching up on my reading....

Thanks for the shout out Perpelxio!! :-) I love the idea of a soy based steak sauce. I think there is probably a HUGE market for that out west. :-) hee hee. (sorry, I'm on the east coast, so everything feels "out west" to me).