The 30 Day Meme: Day 6 - My Day (In Gre- ahh hell whatever teenage girl came up with this meme really ought to be shot)

6:00 am (actually 5:54 am, my alarm clock is about 6 minutes fast): Wake up to my alarm.  The snooze bar is verboten as far as I'm concerned.  I want to sleep right up until the alarm goes off... Not set the alarm for 45 minutes before I actually have to wake up so I can hit snooze a few times before I actually get up.  This is something I started in college by strategically placing my alarm clock on the opposite side of the room and sleeping on the top bunk.  By the time I got out of bed and walked across the alarm to turn it off I was wide awake.


6:01 am: Turn the shower on, shampoo my hair.  Shave, wash my body, rinse the shampoo out of my hair.

6:10 am: Get out of the shower, dry off, brush teeth, blow-dry hair, take my meds. 

6:20 am: Get dressed

6:23 am: Check on my daughter, make sure she's still sleeping soundly

6:25 am: Kiss my wife goodbye.

6:26 am: Check my e-mail, delete any junk email (usually most of what is in my inbox at this hour)

6:30 am: Grab my lunch from the fridge, my coffee from the coffee maker, and put on my shoes.

6:32-6:36 am-ish: Hop in the car and tune in to 560 AM WIND (Big John & Amy) for my morning commute.

6:50-6:55 am-ish (depending on traffic) arrive at work. 

7:00 am: Arrive at desk, check work emails, start work.

9:30 am: Working breakfast, usually oatmeal.

10:30 am: re-fill my coffee with instant rotgut coffee.  Continue working.

Noon: Break for lunch.

12:30 pm: Resume work

2:00 pm: (optional) Re-fill my coffee with more instant rotgut coffee.  Continue working.

6:00 pm: Depart my desk.

6:05 pm: Start my car and head home.

6:35-6:45-ish (depending on traffic): Arrive at home to be greeted by my beautiful wife and adorable daughter:



7:00 pm: Give my daughter her bath.

7:15 pm: Change my daughter into her pajamas.

8:00 pm: Read my daughter her bedtime stories, sing her her lullabies, and put her to bed.

8:15-8:30 pm-ish: Eat my dinner.  Watch a bit of telly with the wife, un-wind a bit.

9:30 pm-ish: Prepare my lunch for the next day. 

9:45 pm-ish Get ready for bed

10:00-10:30 pm-ish: Read whatever book I'm in the middle of/have recently started (as of this posting: Heyday by Kurt Andersen).

10:45-11:00 pm-ish: Turn out the lights and go to sleep.

The 30 Day Meme: Day 5 - My Definition of Love (in great detail)

Love, as a word, gets tossed around far too liberally and freely.  The word is entirely insufficient to truly describe the full depth and breadth of emotion it encompasses.  Love is a feeling that betrays description... With that in mind below are three ocassions when I experienced love:

On April 16th, 2005 as I first saw my wife in her wedding gown being led toward me by her father and feeling my breath being taken away and my jaw hitting the floor.

On September 27th, 2008.  My wife opened the bathroom door holding three seperate pregnancy tests all displaying Plus signs! 

At 8:14 pm on 6/1/09 hearing my daughter's first cries as she entered the world, tears of joy filled my eyes (I'm an emotional sap, what can I say?)  After she was cleaned up, the nurse handed her to me to show my wife and then led the two of us into the recovery room while we waited for my wife to join us.  As I held her, all swaddled up she stopped crying and looked directly into my eyes.  From that moment she had Daddy's heart wrapped around her little finger.

The 30 Day Meme: Day 4 - What I ate today (in great detail)

This morning I had Cinnamon Swirl instant oatmeal at about 10:30 am. 

For lunch I ate a creamy peanut butter and strawberry jam sandwich, a chocolate/vanilla swirl pudding, a small bag of plain potato chips, a Snickers bar, and a can of diet cola.

For my afternoon snack I ate another small pudding, a small strawberry jell-o, and a couple of Saltines.

For dinner I will be eating a Swedish Meatballs TV dinner and I may have a popsicle for dessert.  I'm not sure what flavor I'll have though.

(this meme is a bit ridiculous at times... so I may as well have some fun with it)...  What I WISH I'D eaten today.

For breakfast: 2 poached eggs on toast with a liberal amount of crushed pepper, 4 strips of thick cut Hickory smoked bacon, and a glass of 100% Orange Juice (not from concentrate).

For lunch: 2 Chicago Style Hot Dogs from Portillo's with all the fixin's (except tomato), a large order of fries, and a 20 oz. bottle of Mt. Dew Throwback (the stuff with the real sugar, not the high fructose corn syrup)

For dinner: A 22 oz. Horseradish crusted Porterhouse steak cooked rare (charred on the outside, purple and bloody on the inside-- Heck, just have the cow lay down on the grill, roll over and then lay down on my plate-- If it ain't moo'in', I ain't chewin'), a twice baked cheddar potato, and oven roasted vegetables (eggplant, zucchini, and red peppers), a pint of Newcastle to wash it down, and for dessert a slice of coconut creme pie.

The 30 Day Meme: Day 3 - My Parents (in great detail)

My father was born in the early thirties.  He was born in the same town I inevitably was raised in.  He was the youngest of three boys and there were 3 and 6 years, respectively, separating him from his two older brothers.

When he was only seventeen years old and a senior in high school his father died of cancer.  By then both of his older brothers were married and had started families.  Luckily in the fifties there was some semblance of "mentoring" still going on.  And the high school principal took my father under his wing and made sure he kept his grades up, scored well on the right tests and inevitably went to SUNY Plattsburgh just 50 miles away.  If not for the guidance of his principal he likely would not have gone on to college, nor enlisted in the US Army.

Meanwhile, just a couple of years later up in the Adirondack Mountains my mother was born.  She was the oldest of 3 girls.  Her sister, Marilyn, was 2 years younger, and her other sister was eight years younger.  Sadly when my mother was only four years old Marilyn died of cancer at the all too young age of two.  A few years later my other aunt was born.

My mothers first several years of school were in a one room schoolhouse in which her mother was the teacher.  She ended up skipping eight grade and started her freshman year of high school as my father was starting his junior year.  Since the one room schoolhouse only went through 8th grade my mom ended up having to go to the same high school as my father.

And that's when/where/how my parents ended up meeting.  My father slipped a note in my mother's locker expressing his interest.  My mom showed it to her mom, my grandmother who dismissed it as being a practical joke of a fellow student with too much time on his or her hands...  Until that Sunday when sitting in church my mother noticed her admirer, my father, was singing in the church choir.

Over the years my parents were on again, off again, on again.  They dated other people one of which even really wanted to marry my father.  But in the end my parents ended up together.  Shortly after they married in the mid-fifties my father was stationed in Germany.  So for the first couple of years of their marriage as my mom was finishing nursing school they were an ocean apart writing frequently back and forth to one another.  Upon my mother's graduation from nursing school she joined my father in Germany where they lived together and when time allowed went on trips around the continent exploring Italy, France, Austria, & Germany rather extensively.

When they returned to their hometown after my father's discharge he received a call from his former principal who was now superintendent asking him if he had a job lined up.  When my father said no he was told he'd be teaching sixth grade at one of the local elementary schools.  My oldest sister was born a year or so later and when the principal of my father's school retired his old mentor saw it fit to make my father the new principal of that elementary school.  A job he held until his retirement in the late eighties.

Around the same time my sister was born, my mother decided she didn't want to go back to nursing.  Her schedule kept her away from her young family far too much.  So she received her teaching certification and started teaching sex ed at the local junior high (later Middle School).  As a result, over the years, all of my siblings, many of my cousins, and I all learned about the birds & the bees from Mom...  at the same time as about 20-25 of our respective peers.

Around 1960 my parents decided to become home owners.  My father contracted a friend of the family to help him build a house... the house that all of my siblings & I were raised in and my parents live in to this day.    My eldest brother was born around the same time.  And in many of the old pictures from this era that show the house being built he can be plainly seen playing on a blanket while the house is being built from the basement up in the background.

By 1964, with five kids my parents thought their family was complete...  Until the nation's bicentennial year when surprise of surprises my parents learned they would have another.  Me...

In the mid-80s the sixth graders from all three of the local elementary schools were moved in to the junior high which then became the "Middle School" and when I "graduated" from the 5th grade and was about to enter the Middle School my father opted to take an early retirement at age fifty five.  So from then on my father was the one at home, the one who would take me to doctor, dental, and orthodontist appointments.  In more recent years my mother has remarked that I was lucky in that regard as I ended up getting to spend far more time with my father than any of my older siblings.  As such, personality wise, I'd argue I'm more like my father than any of my brothers (something my wife frequently reminds me of).

In December 1984 my other grandfather died.  I'd never known my dad's father and losing my other grandfather at age seven, I honestly have very little memory of what it's like to have a grandfather.  Shortly after my grandfather died, my grandmother moved in with my parents & I and my aunt who had been living across the street from my grandparents moved in to her parents old house.

From the point my grandmother moved in with my parents & I on I essentially had three parents that at times were at odds with one another on how best to raise me.  It made for some rather confusing situations for me growing up but my grandmother made a point of taking me with her to visit he sisters and their families.  She gave me a sense of extended family I doubt I'd have had, had she not been around.  Considering my other grandmother died when I was only about five years old I barely knew and never met too many people from the extended family on my father's side of the family.

My mom retired the same year I graduated from high school.  Now that the nest was empty she and my father and grandmother wanted to enjoy their freedom.

As the years progressed my grandmother's health started failing putting my parents back in the role of her caregivers.  In mid 2001 my grandmother slipped and broke her hip.  She never fully recovered from her injury and never returned home.  She died in the early hours of December 26th, 2001.

Since then my parents have started spending increasingly more of their winters in St. Augustine, FL and less time in their hometown.  The winters up there are rather brutal and unforgiving.  Heavy snowfall, temperatures that frequently dipped into the negatives (and that's on the Fahrenheit scale) don't make for pleasant winters.  My siblings and I have tried encouraging them to sell the house and move closer to one of us or maybe get an RV and see the country half the year and spend about a month with each of us over the rest of the year... So far they haven't bitten on that idea.

Sadly my father's two older brothers have both passed on.  Some of my cousins have referred to him as the family patriarch in the years since his brothers' passings.  He's outlived both brothers and his father.  Despite having both knees and a shoulder replaced (one knee has actually been replaced three times now) my father is in rather good health.  My parents are continuing to enjoy their retirement and we're hoping they take another visit out here to see their youngest granddaughter sometime soon.

The 30 day Meme: Day 2 - My First Love (in great detail)

Prior to getting married I was what one might describe as a "serial monogamist."  I can count on one hand the number of girls I dated casually and still have fingers to spare.  It just wasn't my style and the casual dates I did go on felt generally stilted and uncomfortable to me.  When you add to that I was what just about anyone and everyone would describe as a late bloomer... I was no 40 year old virgin but I was 19 before things started to click for me with the fairer sex.

Most of the girls I dated seriously started out as friendships and just evolved into something more as friendships like that often do.  So there was never that stilted awkwardness that made my casual dates feel so foreign to me.

In hindsight though, of all the girls I dated seriously (about seven) I only fell in love with three of them... the third time being the charm as I've been married to her for over five of the seven years (and counting) that we've been together.

But anyway the first... 

It was the summer of '97.  It seemed that Third Eye Blind's Semi Charmed Life, Hanson's MmBop, and Savage Garden's I Want You were competing with the Spice Girls for the most overplayed music of the summer.  My then-girlfriend had opted to enlist and I opted to spend my summer working at Cedar Point.  We had been good friends that had taken it to the next level and perhaps had no business doing so.  I don't believe we were ever in love with each other.  That whole platonic thing was there, but on the romantic level we only really gave each other "safety" and most people want more than that out of a relationship. 

We'd even had the foresight to discuss the "what if" scenario of meeting other people.  And maybe at age 20 we had no business trying to make a long distance relationship work.  Especially considering our hearts weren't really in the relationship to begin with.  There were girls with whom I flirted, even some I took an interest in, but as long as I was still technically in a long distance relationship I never crossed "that" line. 

During my second month working at the park, I started working from time to time with a California girl from Pennsylvania (that is to say she was a student enrolled at California University of Pennsylvania, or by the more voyeuristic acronym C.U.P.) for privacy's sake let's leave her name out of it.

At one point her regular coworker was fired and I was re-assigned to his old position.  As a result, from that point on we spent about 10 hours a day, five days a week working together.  We worked in a small souvenir shop right near the exit of one of the most popular rollercoasters in the park selling hats and t-shirts.  We were the only the only two people who were regularly assigned to that location. 

We got along famously and in addition to spending so much time together working, we often hung out with one another after work-- by often I mean every single day-- including our respective days off.  When one of us would get off work we'd meet up with the other.  But we were both in long distance relationships so we never crossed "that" line. 

At the same time, our respective others weren't exactly putting forth much effort keeping in touch with us.  Initially I'd written multiple letters to my girlfriend off at basic training but when I noticed a general lack of response I stopped putting forth the effort as well.  I wasn't the only one who was a bit disgruntled from the lack of content from our "others"-- my newfound friend had only received a single letter from her boyfriend back in PA. 

One night I got home from work to find a rather cryptic message on the answering machine from the girlfriend in basic training, "Remember that thing we talked about possibly happening?  Well it did."  She'd met someone else and wanted to pursue an interest in him.  Initially I was a bit bummed but oddly by the next day I was absolutely giddy.  I was finally free.  The relationship had come to feel more like a burden, something I was shackled to that was holding me back.  It was finally over and the shackles were off.  I later came to be somewhat angry as I found out that the girlfriend had been seeing someone else for quite awhile.  I was pissed not because she'd been seeing someone else but because she hadn't come clean sooner.  But at the same time, I wanted out and I could and should have pulled the plug on things long before she inevitably did.  That relationship had actually ended the moment we went our seperate ways at the end of the school year it just took the two of us awhile to realize it.

Many of my friends thought I was a little off that first couple of days.  I mean people aren't supposed to be happy when they get dumped-- and I was downright flippin' giddy.  I was like Katrina & the Waves, Walking on Sunshine and all that.

One night later, after work I was once again spending time with my friend.  We'd been watching a movie in my room at the employee dorm and had fallen asleep with our lips literally only about 3 inches from each other.  The sexual tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife.  We both wanted that kiss so bad-- I mean we'd spent most of our waking hours together over the prior two months we'd become much more than friends but had never taken it to the next level.  But our lips just kind of hovered a couple of inches apart.  We could feel the heat from each others breath on our faces.  She was still technically in a relationship and I didn't want to cross that line... but at the same time I did... I was really torn.  Inevitably, it didn't happen.  We got up and I walked her back to her dorm before walking back to mine to finally go to bed (at 6 am). 

Somehow, the next night we found ourselves in the exact same position (Hmmm, I wonder how that happened).  This time I finally caved.  I mean that's a lot of tension and temptation for a 20 year old to resist.  One night maybe-- but 2 in a row?  I started with a gentle peck on the corner of her lips.  I figured if she didn't reciprocate I could pass it off as an innocent friendly peck.  But she followed up with a peck on my lips.  Once that happened we finally had our first full-fledged, long overdue first kiss. 

For the rest of the summer-- which at that point only amounted to about two weeks before she had to go back to college we were largely inseperable and I'm guessing we were also one of those nauseating overly saccharine couples that tend to inspire violence. 

She went back to her school and about a week later I went back to mine.  Both of us vowing to find a way to make it work.  And once again I found myself in a long distance relationship.  I visited her for the last week of my winter/Christmas break that year (literally just missing the Ice Storm of 1998 by a few hours) and we rekindled a bit of that passion before I once again returned to school. 

A couple of days after Valentine's Day I received a call from her..  The call no one ever likes to receive.  And unlike my previous ex's phone message before I was there to take the call this time... and I wasn't left giddy by any stretch of the imagination.  I was devastated.  I barely ate for a week or two afterwards.  And when I did eat I think it was limited to Ramen noodles (I really should send a thank you note to the Maruchan company for keeping me alive).  I was taking a creative writing course at the time and I was just bleeding emotional pain so I wrote a short story that was more than a little bit loosely autobiographical.

I had to get it out of me or do something, anything to keep my mind off it.  I immersed myself in my schoolwork.  It showed at the end of the semester with the best grades I ever received in my college career (and I never quite matched that success my senior year). 

And then summer came and I was right back at Cedar Point...  And who else was back a couple weeks later?  At this point it was really unhealthy.  I hadn't quite healed yet and having her around was like pulling off a scab and pouring fresh lemon juice on it. 

For the most part we kept our distance from one another for most of the summer.  Towards the end of the summer we started spending time together again.  We weren't back together.  There was a part of me that wanted to get back together with her but there was also a part of me that really didn't.  I think deep down inside I knew that even if we did get back together it wouldn't last and I knew I didn't want to be on the receiving end of another emotional sucker punch like the one from the previous February I still had yet to fully recover from. 

The trouble was, maybe we both let it go a little too far-- maybe we both let one another back in a little too much.  When I left that summer I felt emotionally exhausted.  I wasn't happy with how things had played out and ended up writing a poem that was quite bitter and in hindsight a bit unfair to her.

That wasn't the last time we crossed paths.  In the summer of 2000, I went back to Cedar Point for a third time.  I was in a rather unhappy relationship at the time (well at least I was unhappy, the girl I was dating was giddy and oblivious).  The girl I was dating followed me to Cedar Point that summer and who else had returned for yet another summer...  my first love.  This time around she seemed interested in rekindling things but she held back due to my giddy oblivious girlfriend.  And there was that small part of me that was at least curious about the prospect of rekindling things with her.  I knew, for example, I likely would have been happier with her than with the girl I was dating at the time... But at the same time that didn't necessarily amount to making it right.  I'd already danced that dance a couple of times and even though there was a perpetual vibe of "unfinished business" between us, deep down inside I decided it best if I keep it that way.  Our lives had travelled down rather disparate paths and even though there were still small vestiges of the people we had been a few summers before we were different people.

In hindsight, I do believe we were the right people for each other at that point in our lives.  We just didn't stay that way. 

The 30 day Meme: Day 1 - Introduce yourself

Please allow me to introduce myself, I am a man of wealth and taste... wait no, that's not me, that's the devil (at least according to Mick Jagger).

A long time ago in a galaxy far far away... no that's Luke Skywalker.

I am an enchanter.  There are some who call me...Tim.... no that's not me either. 

As far back as I can remember... no that was Henry Hill in Goodfellas.

Sorry, I mistook me for someone else... and that was Bruce Wayne (Michael Keaton) in Batman Returns.

Who am I?  TWO-FOUR-SIX-OH-ONE...  no, that was Jean Valjean.

It is I, Sydney Feldman... no that was some hitman in Grosse Point Blank crashing a high school class reunion.

John Jacob Jingleheimerschmitt, his name is my name too... 

Now that we've determined several people who I'm not...

I was born in a small town in the heart of the Adirondack Mountains (Saranac Lake, NY) with a head of hair so blonde it was nearly white in the year of my nation's bicentennial.  I was born into a sizable family of six.  My eldest sister was a freshman in college.  I also had 2 brothers and a sister in high school (a junior, sophomore, and freshman respectively), and then my other brother who, for twelve years, had been "the baby."  A title he happily relinquished upon my birth.

The town I grew up in is located about an hour north of where I was born.  It's best days had come and gone by the time I was born.  Many say, and I tend to agree the turning point was when the railroad was taken out in the 1950s.  While there were still vestiges of the town's heyday the signs of decay were starting to show.  The town was also rather remote.  The nearest major cities were Montreal, Quebec (about 70 miles north), Burlington, VT (about 100 miles southeast), and Ottawa, ON (about 100 miles northwest). 

I've always been kind of mellow and laidback.  I had a lot of acquaintances but only a small handful of friends.  I've always been much more interested in the quality of my friendships than in the quantity of them.  There are but a small handful of them I've kept in touch with all of these years.  Although with facebook I have been able to re-connect with some old chums I'd fallen out of touch with.  I've also, for much of my life been (according to those personality tests/quizzes) an INFP (Introverted, iNtuitive, Feeling, Perceiving) chap.

When I graduated high school in 1995 I opted for a complete change of scenery.  I enrolled at Albion College in Albion, MI-- over 600 miles away from where I'd grown up.  I wanted and needed a fresh start and the change of scenery gave me just that.  I did spend my first summer in college back in my hometown, but with no job prospects I was smart enough to not return the following summer. 

For the next two summers I was a seasonal employee at Cedar Point Amusement Park in Sandusky, OH.  A job that despite the low wages and dull monotony I thoroughly enjoyed for the perks it provided (free access to the park when I wasn't on the clock during operating hours) and the people it brought me into contact with.  People who go to amusement parks are generally in a good mood and that good mood can be quite infectious given the volume of people visiting the park on any given day. 

I spent my final semester of college in Chicago participating in the Urban Life Center.  I'd been to Chicago a few times before that and I loved the energy of the city.  The Urban Life Center gave me a much deeper appreciation and familiarity with the city I never would have otherwise developed.  My three months in that program passed all too quickly. 

I moved back to my hometown for a few months after college.  But with no real job prospects I opted to return to Cedar Point as a seasonal employee-- the idea being to try to get my foot in the door as a regular year-round employee of the park.  After two seasons of that with no luck in obtaining a salaried position I moved to Elyria, OH and took a retail job in North Olmsted (suburban Cleveland) in part to be closer to the girl I was dating at the time.  In the end that proved to be a poor decision on my part as that relationship fizzled literally within days of my relocation.  And Elyria never got into my blood and under my skin the way Sandusky had.  For about a year I spun my wheels and found myself stuck in a bit of a rut. 

After about three to four months in Elyria I started corresponding via email, later phone calls with the lass who would someday become my wife... but that's another story.

In October 2002 I packed up my things and headed back to Chicago to have another stab at the other city that had gotten under my skin.  I started a new chapter in my life that continues to this day.  In the years since that fateful trip I've married, bought my first home, and become a father of a beautiful little girl.

To Be Continued (The 30 Day Meme: Day 2 - My First Love)

The 30 day Meme

One of my online friends over on Livejournal (where I started all this blog craziness back in the summer of 2002) suggested I join her in doing a 30 day meme.  I found the idea intriguing and considering I currently only really write either at my writer's group meetings or when I write reviews over on my music blog I'm hoping this will get me in the habit of writing with greater frequency.  Today is just a "table of contents" of what is to come:

Day 01 – Introduce yourself
Day 02 – Your first love, in great detail
Day 03 – Your parents, in great detail
Day 04 – What you ate today, in great detail
Day 05 – Your definition of love, in great detail
Day 06 – Your day, in great detail
Day 07 – Your best friend, in great detail
Day 08 – A moment, in great detail
Day 09 – Your beliefs, in great detail
Day 10 – What you wore today, in great detail
Day 11 – Your siblings, in great detail
Day 12 – What’s in your bag, in great detail
Day 13 – This week, in great detail
Day 14 – What you wore today, in great detail
Day 15 – Your dreams, in great detail
Day 16 – Your first kiss, in great detail
Day 17 – Your favorite memory, in great detail
Day 18 – Your favorite birthday, in great detail
Day 19 – Something you regret, in great detail
Day 20 – This month, in great detail
Day 21 – Another moment, in great detail
Day 22 – Something that upsets you, in great detail
Day 23 – Something that makes you feel better, in great detail
Day 24 – Something that makes you cry, in great detail
Day 25 – A first, in great detail
Day 26 – Your fears, in great detail
Day 27 – Your favorite place, in great detail
Day 28 – Something that you miss, in great detail
Day 29 – Your aspirations, in great detail
Day 30 – One last moment, in great detail

Feel free to join me in this meme if the mood compels you.  And if not, happy reading.