Friday, July 02, 2010

Rant inspired on asphalt...

On my way from the parking lot to my office this morning I noticed the vehicle parked next to mine had a dreamcatcher hanging from the rear view mirror.  It got me thinking, "I don't like having bad dreams when I sleep either, but generally that's not an issue when I'm DRIVING MY CAR!" 

But then again, this is Chicago and expressways have been known to magically transform into parking lots for any litany of reasons... and sometimes for no reason at all.  Why not take a cat-nap at 5:15 pm when you zoom onto the Reagan (I-88, formerly known as the East-West Tollway) and come to a screeching, grinding halt!

This generally isn't an issue for me as my commute is short enough that taking the expressway would actually take me LONGER to get home than taking side-streets and back roads and what not.  I barely get a chance to listen to my favorite radio talk shows (Big John & Amy Jacobsen on WIND in the mornings and Roe & Roeper in the afternoons on WLS) in the short time it takes me to get to and from work.

Yesterday, my company threw a small picnic for my department as thanks for a strong first half of the year despite a challenging market.  On the way over I was listening to one of my syndicated talk radio favorites-- Dennis Miller (which given when he's on, I RARELY get to do any more).  Dennis wasn't on though... I mean his show was, but he had a guest host...  That's a normal practice in the world of talk radio, but what threw me for a loop was WHO it was.... SCOTT BAIO!  Chachi (or was it Bob Loblaw?-- Arrested Development fans will get that) was doing conservative talk radio!  I checked my rearview mirror to see if I'd driven through some strange wormhole into an alternate dimension and not realized it and pinched myself to ensure I wasn't having a strange dream (I have a dreamcatcher at home, but it's in my closet and not really keeping out the bad/strange dreams.  Although the "straight" men I have living in there claim they haven't had any nightmares about THOSE silk curtains with THAT window treatment since they moved in-- so the dreamcatcher is working for someone at least).  I half expected at that moment, that if I were to turn on the Home Shopping Network I'd find myself watching Erin Moran selling knick-knacks on "Joanie Loves Tschotchkies"

In fairness to Chachi, I gave him a chance.  And he was holding his own.  He was doing a better job than some of the other substitute radio hosts I've heard over the years (especially former Illinois guv, His Hairness, Rod Blagojevich)... I don't know if that speaks to Mr. Baio displaying a talent I didn't realize he had or possibly to the talent pool from which he was fished for this particular subbing gig.

Speaking of His Hairness-- it seems he was a bit of a clothes-horse.  Racking up over $200,000 in debt from buying CLOTHES!  He was spending more on his wardrobe than on food or child care.  And he was using taxpayer money to do so.  SOOOO, in the interests of the punishment fitting the crime, I think all of Rod's expensive suits should be donated to men collecting unemployment so they have something to wear to job interviews-- since those suits likely led Illinois to have one of the highest unemployment rates in the US... those suits should be used to put the people back to work that Rod indirectly put out of work with his frivolous spending habits.  Just a thought...  And I'm sure Patti Blagojevich has some nice professional looking dresses she could donate to out of work women.  Oh and while we're at it, the state of Illinois deserves a refund from the hairstylist who convinced Rod to sport THAT 'do for all of the haircuts he paid for on our dime.

2 comments:

Voice of Doom and Gloom said...

That substitute on conservative radio would have thrown me for a loop too!

Also - Rod and Patti - it's amazing to me that he was elected. How did so many people miss how crass and stupid this guy was? How did this happen?

Perplexio said...

Rod was elected because he ran against George Ryan who, at the time, was having some legal issues of his own.

He was re-elected in 2006 because the Republicans chose Judy Barr-Topinka to run against him. Topinka was the mastermind behind the "Lets have Alan Keyes run against Barack Obama for US senate" idea back in 2004. I ended up not even voting in the general election (although I did vote in the GOP gubenatorial primary that year in an effort to prevent the Topinka trainwreck-- sadly my vote wasn't enough to thwart said political trainwreck) that year because I saw the Blagojevich vs. Topinka as a lack of options... They were equally unpalatable to me. Corruption vs. ineptitude... and people wonder why Illinois is a laughing stock?!