A subject was recently broached in another blog by an old friend... He was recounting his "invisibility" the opposite sex in a bar and resulting anger and frustration.
I responded (as did one of his other friends) that he'd never find what he was looking for in that setting. When you're in a bar, people pick up on your vibe, no matter how hard you try to hide it. If you're looking for more than just a roll in the hay you become kryptonite for all the supermen or superwomen in the bar.
This is a good guy, once upon a time he, my ex-girlfriend, and I were three peas in a pod. We spent a lot of time together. Then when said girl broke my heart, he was a good sport, he got me out there, did his best to get my mind off the girl. And he remained friends with her too for awhile at least. I was cool with that. Then the two of them also had a falling out. I don't know the whole story behind it, never will, don't want to, and don't really care any more. That was almost five years ago so it's long past the point of relevancy.
Unfortunately his falling out with her caused a rift between he and I when I started dating my next girlfriend whom I later left Ohio for and married. You see, because of his falling out with my ex, he stayed away from Toni as if SHE were kryptonite... once bitten, twice shy I guess. When she came to visit he never even really acknowledged her. Here I was dating someone new, she'd driven out from Chicago to Cleveland to see me and he was giving her (and by extension me) a sub-zero cold shoulder for the duration of her visit. I was pissed and I let him know it. And while it didn't ruin the friendship it certainly put a wedge between us.
As a result when I did move away, I didn't put much of an effort into keeping in touch, he didn't really either though. So when I read his blog, I still miss the friendship and wish I were there to talk some sense into him or just to listen to him vent... maybe he just needs/needed a kind ear.
Deep down inside, despite our differences, drifting apart-- I know he's still a good person and deserves far better than what he's hoping to find in a bar. I told him as much and I do hope he finds it, and I hope he starts looking for it in a place where he actually stands some chance of finding it.