Tuesday, November 28, 2006

The Golgothan Strikes Again...

I really thought I'd escaped. I didn't think I'd ever encounter his creeping fetid toilet terrors. My old chum, Paul, and I had shuffled loose his mortal coil several years ago at a toilet in Sandusky, OH. I thought that was the last I'd ever see of him...

But he's back, with a vengeance. This time he's smart though, he's not showing himself. He's hiding within the bowels (okay, maybe that's a poor choice of words given the subject matter) of one of my two toilets.

Two plungers, a toilet snake (auger), and even some of that liquid drain unclogger (don't worry I made sure to get the toilet-safe stuff) later and he's still there wreaking havoc on my poor toilet.

It makes no sense. Toni & I were away on vacation, there was no one here to summon him from his stygian abyss... but still he came. And still he stays, the mystical creature inhabiting my toilet preventing the passage of water and waste and all thats foul that my body rejects.

So I implore of you and utter the words uttered by Paul the last time I encountered the Golgothan... "I need an old priest and a young priest."

3 comments:

Snooze said...

Um, ew. Nothing like coming back from vacation to toilet troubles. I hope you weren't coming back from Mexico with Montezuma's revenge.

St. Dickeybird said...

Can I suggest flushing a small bible?
For me, it would be a suitable use, but if I'm wrong, it could quiet the Golgothan.

The Phoenix said...

You also need some holy water and some prayers.