Monday, August 14, 2006

Dating advice

When I was still young and rather naive in the ways of love, I remember one of my online friends-- an older gent who went by "Pup" if I recall correctly imparted to me the following advice for dealing with the opposite gender:

1) Don't rely on your charm... you have none. Be yourself, if she doesn't like you for who you are, you're both just wasting your time anyway.

2) The human tongue is on average at least 3" long, no matter how much or how little you have downstairs, learn how to use this asset to your advantage.

3) When all else fails, your right hand is always a sure-fire date on a lonely Saturday night.

Now I've had other advice imparted to me over the years, before that and since then. But this advice, for some reason really stuck with me. And well, given the piece of hardware on my left ring finger, it apparently worked. :-)

Current Music: Cold Chisel - Lovelight


Lucia said...

So, whew, I was relieved the pic moved down a notch (it was creeping me out). I believe that 1 and 2 may have contributed to your finger hardware, but 3?

Perplexio said...

Lucia: The more the sexual tension is relieved the more relaxed guys generally are. That bit in There's Something About Mary about "releasing tension" before a date, there's actually a lot of truth to that.

Lucia said...

Okey, dokey, if you say so...

Keshi said...

**When all else fails, your right hand is always a sure-fire date on a lonely Saturday night.



Jeff said...

I always used to say your first comment to one of my friends excluding the thing that he has no charm. Anyhow, pretty funny stuff with these comments. So far it appears I am doing right, I've been with the same girl for nearly four years.

tornwordo said...

Um, #2? that's not going to work for me. lol

St. Dickeybird said...

I knew a guy like that. He suggested:
1. If a girl says she's on the pill and wants bareback sex, don't believe her. Use a condom. She may want a family, but not tell you.

2. Don't cheat. This gives the 3rd person leverage and the ability to mess up your whole life.

Dantallion said...

lol - Don't rely on your charm - you have none. That's perfect.

Perplexio said...

keshi: I know, it wasn't politically correct as I discriminated against southpaws. ;-) hehehe

jeff: thanks.

tornowordo: But I bet there is a homosexual equivalent to #2

dickey: Well said.

dantallion: Well it's true, what most guys THINK is charm is about as charming as fumbling with a glow-in-the-dark condom in a pitch black bedroom.