Monday, August 21, 2006

Is this too over-simplified?

Over on Urban Monk's blog, he recently posted of an experience with his boss in regards to a search for what basically would amount to a Cliff Notes version of the Bible. I suggested he relate the following encapsulation of the New Testament which I tossed together on the fly:

A right bloke, JC, is born to a special sheila named Mary and his stepdad, Joseph. JC keeps to himself until he's about 30 then Dear old Dad (God) gives him a call to give up carpentry and enter the ministry. So JC gathers 12 of his best mates including a tax collector and a handful of fishermen and they go around telling people the world might just be a better place if people were a bit nicer, more accepting, and tolerant of those with different ideas and beliefs. In addition to being a good stick, JC becomes quite popular with the blokes and sheilas when he turns water into wine at a wedding, helps a few lame people walk, a few blind people see, and even ressurects a dead bloke. In the process he manages to piss off the sanhedrin by performing miracles on the
Sabbath and condemning the Church elders for money-lending inside dear old Dad's house (the synagogue). He pisses off the sanhedrin so much they get the Romans to nail him to a tree. But in the end you can't keep a good mate down, JC performs the ultimate party trick following the last supper by coming back to life 3 days after getting nailed to said tree by the Romans.
Isn't that pretty much it?
Current Music: Katie Melua - Lilac Wine

5 comments:

St. Dickeybird said...

What, he can't just rent that Mel Gibson TortureTheMessiah video?

Lucia said...

You're missing all of the weird ending in Revelations. I'm sure the Reduced Shakespeare Company must have the Bible...well, reduced.

Curare_Z said...

LOL. That's the best Australian-version Bible synopsis ever.

Perplexio said...

dickeybird: Well that movie only covers his death really. And it's in Aramaic with English subtitles. By the sounds of it, this bloke wasn't the type who would be keen on "reading a movie."

lucia: Revelations is to the Bible what Pink Floyd's The Wall is to movies. While it's understandable to SOME clear-headed/minded people, most of us would probably have to be baked out of our gourds to get the gist of it... I sometimes wonder whether or not John just ate some funny mushrooms before writing that part.

curare_z: And I'm not even really Aussie. I just considered the target audience and adjusted the slang from US to Aussie as best I could. :-)

Dantallion said...

You see, if that was the version that I'd been given, I might very well have signed up!

Brilliant.