Tuesday, April 11, 2006

The Buscemi...

A few years ago I got this random idea to create a new breed of dog by mating a Great Dane with a Chiahuaua. I was never quite able to work out the logistics (nor find a Chiahuaua safe step-ladder to assist in the conception) but I did come up with a name for this new breed-- The Buscemi (named after actor Steve Buscemi). The mental image I kept getting of such a dog was a rather wiry bug-eyed mutt. And while Buscemis is no mutt he is rather wiry and bug-eyed... and what better way to honor one of America's more underrated actors than to name a new breed of canines after him? And if this unholy union ever comes to fruition the least we can do is give him the pick of the first litter. Right?

We'll have to warn him, "Just don't name him Mr. Pink, he really doesn't like that name."

14 comments:

Green Eyes said...

Once again, your mind amazes me! I see where you're going with the bug eyes, but I keep visualizing the two breeds (thanks for that, lol) and I don't think it's going to work either.

The chiahuaua can't be the female, cause the litter would kill her, and it can't be the male, cause really, is it even going to be able to stick it in there?

OMG, Perplexio, thanks! lol

Perplexio said...

Green Eyes: It's probably not possible by conventional methods, but I think with artificial insemination it would be doable (Male Chiahuaua sperm into a female Great Dane-- I don't think a female Chiahuaua could/would survive the pregnancy).

Then again my parents once owned a female Airedale which somehow managed to mate with a Dachshund.

Dantallion said...

As I read this, I could only picture Sara Jessica Parker after the experiments in Mars Attacks...

Love Steve Buscemi, btw

Perplexio said...

Dantallion: Not a Sarah Jessica Parker fan I presume? And I too am quite a fan of Buscemi. I especially enjoyed him (despite his rather small role) in Desperado. He took a rather average action movie and made it thoroughly enjoyable.

Susan as herself said...

You may be able to obtain sponsorship from Steve's people---a sort of reverse endorsement, if you will. Get your marketing materials together---maybe a computer generated photo of what the dog might look like?

ink said...

LOL! What a great idea (and I love the fact you've actually figured out how it could be done).

Steve Buscemi is a marvellous character actor (a fairly rare commodity in the States, for some reason). I loved his performances in both Fargo and Ghost World, but haven't seen Desperado ... yet.

So, after due consideration, you've got my vote. He is a very worthy choice for this new breed. At least it wouldn't be one of those blinkin' "***-Poo" dogs (e.g., Cocker-Poo, Malti-Poo, Super-Poo ... whatever.)

ink.

P.S. An Airdale and a dachsund? What on earth did the litter look like?

Perplexio said...

Susan: You're right, and the new breed could even be featured prominently in the next Adam Sandler movie. :-)

ink: The thing I love about Buscemi is that he could have a really small part and still be able to add a tremendous level of depth to the film. I also enjoyed him in Things To Do In Denver When You're Dead. He played a hitman named "Mr. Shhhhh" and his performance was the only redemption to the movie ConAir.

Bar Bar A said...

I am picturing you on a step ladder helping out...funny

Perplexio said...

ink: PS, the Airedale/Dachshund mix happened before I was born, but I did see pictures. They looked like Airedales with short stubby legs (Kind of cute, actually). My father told me that one of his friends never let him hear the end of it and would ask him if the Dachshund needed a stepladder.

Perplexio said...

Barbara: The extent of my assistance would be setting up the stepladder for the Chiahuaua. After that the little guy is on his own to romance that Great Dane (talk about Tall Girl/Short Guy pairings!)

The Phoenix said...

I don't know who Steve Buscemi is...but I have the visual of a Chiahuaua and a Great Dane looking more like Joe Pesci.

I once saw a German Shephard/Bassett Hound mix. The dog had the long snout of a GS, but the floppy ears of a Bass. He also had short stubby legs, but with broad GS-like torso. Strange indeed.

Bruce said...

I like it. If Buscemi and his people won't go along with it, though, you could always call them "Lorres" after the late actor Peter Lorre. He had that same bug-eyed look.

Bruce said...

Or "Feldmans"....

Perplexio said...

Bruce: Hilarious! I agree about the whole bug-eyed look with Peter Lorre and Marty Feldman (wasn't there a spoof of Bette Davis Eyes titled Marty Feldman Eyes).