The TRUE story behind the Osama Bin Laden killing...

Since the story coming from the press seems to change by the second.  First he was armed and using one of his wives as a human shield, then he was unarmed and the Navy SEALS were rushed by his youngest wife whom they shot in the hip, but no here's what really happened...

A 1963 VW Beetle pulls up outside the compound.  10 Navy SEALS emerge from the Bug dressed as circus clowns.  One of them launches a RPCP (Rocket Propelled Cream Pie) at bin Laden but misses.  One of the other SEALS/clowns manages to get within point blank range of bin Laden and takes him out with his squirting flower directly to the eyes.  Osama clutches his eyes staggering around slips on a banana peel carooms off the end of a balcony and SPLAT!

A fellow dressed as Porky Pig shows up takes a few photos for proof before saying "That's all folks!"

In all seriousness, I mean no disrespect to the intelligence agents who were able to locate him nor the Navy SEALS who were inevitably able to take him out.  I'm more fed up with the way the story has been (mis)handled by the Obama Administration and/or the press.  While I believe most of the blame for how the story has been mis-handled is the fault of the press.  Some fault does fall on the White House for not doing a better job of controlling the message and making sure the message given to the media was a consistent one.

Don't get me wrong, Obama deserves tremendous accolades for bringing down Obama.  I may disagree with many of his political views but I have nothing but the utmost respect for how he handled the assassination of bin Laden.  It was a job well done. 

Where he's dropping the ball is on the PR side of things.  On Sunday night the regularly scheduled programming was cut into at about 10:45 ET indicating that bin Laden had been killed and the president was going to address the nation.  For over 45 minutes the American public was fed information indicating bin Laden had been killed, that he'd fired upon Navy SEALS and had been killed when they returned fire.  Various people from the Bush & Clinton Administrations and the intelligence community were interviewed for their reactions.  Then we were told that he used one of his wives as a human shield before he was taken out.  The next day the story started to change.  To borrow a term from comic book parlance, the original story was "retconned"  by the media by Monday morning with no acknowledgement from them that their story from the previous evening had changed.  In the new version, bin Laden was unarmed and his youngest wife had been shot in the hip when she rushed one of the Navy SEALS unarmed in an attempt to save her husband.

I realize that in the age of 24 hour news and each news agency doing their damnedest to scoop their competition ("Facts be damned!  It's all about being first!  We can always print a retraction later.") "sitting on" the information a little longer before announcing it to the press (thus less air time of media speculation and reaction interviews with intelligence officials) might or might not have been a feasible option.  I can also understand where Obama and the others in the room who watched the events as they happened would have been excited that we finally got bin Laden and would have wanted to share that news with the world posthaste!  But a few ounces of caution and planning would have gone a long way in the delivery of the information as accurately as possible the first time and would likely have reduced if not completely eliminated the various alternate versions of the story that the news media started delivering to the public.

I do have to reiterate that most of the blame for the bungling of this story lands on the lap of the US media and not within the White House.  The White House only failed in their control of the delivery of the message to the media.  However, in so failing it allowed and led to the media running wild with both information and misinformation as our media has shown themselves to be increasingly more prone to do.

"MMMM, Sacrelicious!"

I believe there's an unwritten, mutually understood competition going on between the amusement and theme parks of the world-- not for the best rides (that IS well published after all), but for the unhealthiest food possible.

The common bond to many of these foods is grease.  In fact grease is the main ingredient.  There is probably more to it than just trying to gain recognition for "Novelty Food Item Most Likely to Result in Heart Attack in Single Serving (or less)" It may also be a means for these parks to make their other foods SEEM healthy by comparison.  I mean hot dogs, hamburgers, fried chicken, onion rings, and french fries seem downright healthy when compared to things like fried dough, deep fried cheese on a stick, Deep Fried Pickles, and deep fried (fill in the blank).

It's at the point where I don't believe that the people who come up with these food items are even capable of coming up with healthy food:

Dietician: I think your food needs to be healthier.
Amusement Park Foodie (APF): this 'healthier' you speak of... I'm not familiar with this term.
Dietician: You know, healthy... like vegetables, fish-
APF: We do fish... We have fish sticks deep fried in bacon grease with a Guinness Beer Batter.  They're a real hit on Fridays.
Dietician: Not quite what I mean.  How about veggies?
APF: Vegetables?  We do those too... French Fries, Onion Rings, and one of our most popular items... Sweet Potato Fries with caramel dipping sauce!  Oh and we offer sauerkraut for our brawtwurst.
Dietician: How about Broccoli, Lettuce, Zucchini, Cauliflower, Carrots, Tomatoes-
APF: We have tomato ketchup packets at all of our food locations.  Thank you for reminding me, I'd forgotten about the ketchup.
Dietician (growing increasingly more frustrated): Let's try this a different way-- broccoli
APF: People don't like broccoli.  Heck we even had a president who was famous for not liking broccoli once, didn't we?
Dietician: It's all in the preparation.
APF: I like this, brainstorming... hmm let me think making broccoli more appealing....
Dietician: How about offering salad?
APF: that's just plain crazytalk!  Salad at an amusment park?  Can I have some of whatever you're smoking?
(dietician mumbles something impolite but unintelligible under her breath)
APF (completely oblivious): OH, I've got it!
Dietician: Yes?
APF: We could deep fry the broccoli in a beer batter and then cover it with chocolate sauce!
(dietician walks away in resigned defeat)

Rant inspired on asphalt...

On my way from the parking lot to my office this morning I noticed the vehicle parked next to mine had a dreamcatcher hanging from the rear view mirror.  It got me thinking, "I don't like having bad dreams when I sleep either, but generally that's not an issue when I'm DRIVING MY CAR!" 

But then again, this is Chicago and expressways have been known to magically transform into parking lots for any litany of reasons... and sometimes for no reason at all.  Why not take a cat-nap at 5:15 pm when you zoom onto the Reagan (I-88, formerly known as the East-West Tollway) and come to a screeching, grinding halt!

This generally isn't an issue for me as my commute is short enough that taking the expressway would actually take me LONGER to get home than taking side-streets and back roads and what not.  I barely get a chance to listen to my favorite radio talk shows (Big John & Amy Jacobsen on WIND in the mornings and Roe & Roeper in the afternoons on WLS) in the short time it takes me to get to and from work.

Yesterday, my company threw a small picnic for my department as thanks for a strong first half of the year despite a challenging market.  On the way over I was listening to one of my syndicated talk radio favorites-- Dennis Miller (which given when he's on, I RARELY get to do any more).  Dennis wasn't on though... I mean his show was, but he had a guest host...  That's a normal practice in the world of talk radio, but what threw me for a loop was WHO it was.... SCOTT BAIO!  Chachi (or was it Bob Loblaw?-- Arrested Development fans will get that) was doing conservative talk radio!  I checked my rearview mirror to see if I'd driven through some strange wormhole into an alternate dimension and not realized it and pinched myself to ensure I wasn't having a strange dream (I have a dreamcatcher at home, but it's in my closet and not really keeping out the bad/strange dreams.  Although the "straight" men I have living in there claim they haven't had any nightmares about THOSE silk curtains with THAT window treatment since they moved in-- so the dreamcatcher is working for someone at least).  I half expected at that moment, that if I were to turn on the Home Shopping Network I'd find myself watching Erin Moran selling knick-knacks on "Joanie Loves Tschotchkies"

In fairness to Chachi, I gave him a chance.  And he was holding his own.  He was doing a better job than some of the other substitute radio hosts I've heard over the years (especially former Illinois guv, His Hairness, Rod Blagojevich)... I don't know if that speaks to Mr. Baio displaying a talent I didn't realize he had or possibly to the talent pool from which he was fished for this particular subbing gig.

Speaking of His Hairness-- it seems he was a bit of a clothes-horse.  Racking up over $200,000 in debt from buying CLOTHES!  He was spending more on his wardrobe than on food or child care.  And he was using taxpayer money to do so.  SOOOO, in the interests of the punishment fitting the crime, I think all of Rod's expensive suits should be donated to men collecting unemployment so they have something to wear to job interviews-- since those suits likely led Illinois to have one of the highest unemployment rates in the US... those suits should be used to put the people back to work that Rod indirectly put out of work with his frivolous spending habits.  Just a thought...  And I'm sure Patti Blagojevich has some nice professional looking dresses she could donate to out of work women.  Oh and while we're at it, the state of Illinois deserves a refund from the hairstylist who convinced Rod to sport THAT 'do for all of the haircuts he paid for on our dime.

Unconventional lullabies

My daughter was a little fussy when I tried to put her to bed this evening so I opted to sing to her. I had two songs stuck in my head and neither were really lullabies (but I figure any song can be a lullaby if you sing it right).

"I met her in a club down in old SoHo
Where you drink champagne and it tastes just like
Cherry Cola
Cee-Oh-El-Ay Cola..."

that didn't seem right to me so instead I went with...

"John Jacob Jingleheimerschmitt his name is my name too
Whenever we go out
The people always shout
There goes John Jacob Jingleheimerschmitt!
tra la la la la la la la..."

An interesting email exchange

Today I received one of those chain email forwards from an old colleague and friend from my previous job:

I hate these things, sorry to pass this on but I did the quiz and at the bottom of the quiz there is a disclaimer that says if you don’t pass it on you’ll get the opposite of your wish. The opposite of my wish isn’t pretty, so I had no choice. Ok, so I’m superstitious…

I followed the instructions in the email and responded back:

Mine was way way way off the mark. I wished for nothing. I’m not forwarding it to anyone… the opposite of nothing is something. I know that’s kind of vague and ambiguous… but we’ll see, I guess.

To which he responded:

So was mine was too, but I wished hot s*x with a hot skinny young chick and I didn’t want to risk getting the opposite…..

I couldn't resist so...

A cool obese old man? Santa Claus perhaps? Don’t forget to leave the cookies on the nightstand.

Speaking of Blagojevich...

This is pretty good...

Coin tosses

Back when he was still doing stand-up, Bill Cosby had a joke about historical coin tosses:

Some of the ones he mentioned:

British vs. Americans 1774
British lose the toss and are forced to wear bright red coats and march out in the open in straight lines. The Americans get to hide in the trees wearing clothes to best conceal their appearance as they practice guerilla hit and run battle tactics.

Custer vs. Sitting Bull 1876
Custer loses the coin toss. His army waits at the bottom of a hill as all the Indians in North America come stampeding over them.

I'd like to add:

French Canadians vs. Americans 1813
Americans lose the coin toss, French Canadians get support of Native Mohawks and 1,630 French Canadians and Mohawks sucessfully stave off an invading force of 4,000 Americans attempting to invade Canada at the Battle of Chateuguay on October 25, 1813. Over 150 years later Mayonaisse companies are still rejoicing in the boon in sales this victory later yielded in the Montreal area alone, let alone the rest of Quebec.

Billy Goat vs. Chicago Cubs 1945
In their first World Series appearance since 1908 the Chicago Cubs forbid a wealthy fan from bringing his Billy Goat to game 1 of the 1945 World Series. The owner of said Billy Goat puts a curse on the Cubs saying that not only would they not win the 1945 World Series, they'd never play in a World Series again... So far the Cubs appear to still be the losers.

Boy Scouts vs. Girl Scouts
Boy Scouts lose the toss, Girl Scouts get to sell a variety of tasty cookies... The Boy Scouts sell overpriced "gourmet" popcorn

George H. W. Bush vs. US Congress 1991
Bush loses the coin toss and is forced to raise taxes breaking a campaign promise leading to his squandering of a 90% approval rating and losing his re-election bid to Bill Clinton.

George Hamilton vs. Robert Duvall 1990
Duvall loses the toss and is replaced in the third and final Godfather installment by the perpetually grinning and tanned George Hamilton. It could be argued that those who paid to see this film also lost as they were subjected to a sub-par excuse for a sequel in what had otherwise been a brilliant series of films.

Sean Young vs. Michelle Pfeiffer 1990
Young loses the coin toss (and arguably her mind) and instead of playing Catwoman in Batman Returns is forced to humiliate herself by showing up dressed as Catwoman in a helicopter to tell Tim Burton that she IS Catwoman. Her career is yet to recover from this lost coin toss.

Al Gore vs. Katherine Harris 2000
Gore loses the coin toss and instead of delivering State of the Union addresses to the American people for the next four years he instead finds himself delivering State of the Union addresses to his bathroom mirror every morning as he shaves.

Democrats vs. Republicans 2008
Republicans lose the coin toss and are forced to run a crotchety old out of touch senator (as opposed to any one of a number of younger, better-spoken, and more "in touch" other candidates) for president against a younger, more appealing and photogenic (albeit inexperienced) Democratic challenger.

Random Thoughts and observations

1. Several years ago (either the late eighties or early nineties) the slogan for Toyota was "Who Could Ask For Anything More?" In the mid-late nineties Edwin McCain released the song I Could Not Ask For More. With that in mind is McCain writing about a woman or is he a satisfied Toyota owner with an unnatural affection for his vehicle of choice?
2. In 2006 Survivor (remember them?) released their first new studio album since 1988's Too Hot to Sleep. The album is pretty good, or at least it would have been had it been released in 1989, or maybe 1990 at the latest. An album released in 2006 should not sound like it was released in 1989 or 1990.
   
3. I'm currently on another of my Australian music binges. Lately I've found myself listening to Crowded House, The Cruel Sea, Australian Crawl, and a handful of other distinctly Australian bands. I've come to find that there is something about Aussie music that sounds "different" than similar music from the United States. And while it does sound similar, there is something about it that's distinctly different. Oh, and much of it is pretty damn good-- many of us North Americans are missing out.
4. Over the weekend I rented and watched 10,000 BC. 2 Observations. The leading lady in the film whose name I don't currently know had/has some of the most strikingly beautiful eyes I've ever seen. AAAAAnnnnd, the film was not at all what I was expecting, the only reason I kept watching through to the end was because of the leading lady with the strikingly beautiful blue eyes. Oh and there's some decent violence but it wasn't "ultra" violence and there was no Ludwig van... so Malcolm MacDowell would not have approved.
   
5. I'd like to start a presidential campaign a la Richard Pryor's mayoral campaign in Brewster's Millions-- "Vote for None of the Above!" McCain's 2008 Presidential platform is a bit different than his 2000 Presidential platform so there's no telling which McCain we'd actually get and Obama's lack of foreign policy and military experience has me rather leery. Regardless of whether or not we should have gone to Iraq in the first place, we're there now. If we leave before the job is done, chances are we'll have to send our kids or grandkids over to clean up the mess we'd create by pulling out too soon. In other words going in may have been wrong, but pulling out too soon is wrong too... and last I checked 2 wrongs still didn't/don't make a right.
   

Well I didn't see my shadow but I'm still going to dip back into my hole for a spell.

Cheers!

For only a couple dollars a day you too can...

Today I received a letter in the mail that gave me pause to recall those old Sally Struthers commercials where she walked around African villages talking about feeding poor Africans and how, for pennies a day, you could give them food and clothing and school materials.

But instead of young African children this letter was urging me, for only $2.40/day to feed Elderly Russian Jews. Now I like Jews as much as the next Gentile. I'm a sucker for latkes and Matzo Ball soup really IS Jewish penicillin-- but I couldn't help but chuckle at this plea to feed Elderly Russian Jews.

The thing is, if I were to do something like this, I wouldn't want to just feed an Elderly Russian Jew, I'd want to adopt one like those African kids in the Sally Struthers commercials. I'd want to possibly someday even show up at their door with a bottle of Manischewitz Passover Wine, some Gefilte Fish, a jar of top notch horseradish, and a pot roast or maybe some Corned Beef and hear their tales of growing up in Russia in days past.

But instead I just nodded to myself in disbelief... oy vey!

Is it just me or is there an uncanny resemblance?

between former Pittsburgh Steelers coach Bill Cowher:











And soon to be former NY State Governor Eliot Spitzer:



















Just a moustache and a baseball cap difference... Uncanny!

My friend Steve

It was a mild night, late April or early May 2000. I was living in Sandusky, OH working for Cedar Point. My friend and co-worker, Steve, and I were hanging out when I had a strange craving for a Grilled Chicken Caesar Salad Shaker which was one of McDonald's latest stabs at "Healthy food" at that time... And Steve, he was just getting a little stir crazy so we headed to the nearest McDonald's, only about a block or two away... But we still drove.

I pulled up to the speaker at the Drive-Thru to place my order: "I'd like a Grilled Chicken Caesar Salad Shaker"

"Sorry, we're all out of Caesar salad dressing, would you like one of our other Salad shakers?"

"No thank you."

From there Steve and I drove over to the other area McDonald's about three miles away.

As we pulled up we noticed the lights were out... It was closed.

So we hopped on the highway and drove to Huron, the nearest town which was actually closer than the OTHER McDonald's that also happened to be in Sandusky. At this point Steve was getting really into it. He thought it was hilarious that we were traipsing all over God's green Earth for "a fucking cup of lettuce."

We pulled into the drive-thru at the Huron, OH McDonald's... and guess what-- No lettuce! I ended up ordering something else instead. Despite Steve's protestations that we get on the Ohio Turnpike and stop at the nearest rest-stop McDonald's. He didn't want the adventure to end. Incidentally, I really didn't either. But my stomach at that point was just plain hungry and it wasn't being quite as picky as it had been when we first set out on our little food-run.

There were occasions later on that summer where Steve would regale our friends with his version of the tale of the Quest for the Fucking Cup of Lettuce, and in all fairness for his flair for the dramatic-- he told the tale far better than I just did-- each time it seemed to get more and more grandiose than each previous telling.

Over the course of the summer he ended up getting a transfer to a different department, but we still kept in touch and hung out. He had a way of telling about his day at work to make even the most droll and boring events sound epic. So I often looked forward to hanging out with him.

The next year, I'd moved into my own apartment off-site (the previous year I'd lived in employee housing). Steve and I still hung out rather often initially but eventually our schedules were such that we barely saw each other. One night I was watching a movie with my then-girlfriend. I heard a knock on my door and answered and there was Steve. He'd never met my girlfriend so I introduced the two of them. The three of us talked for awhile then Steve took his leave. After he left my girlfriend looked at me and said, "I feel like I need a nap after talking to him."

About a year or so ago I heard from Steve's ex-girlfriend (whom one of my other exes and I had introduced him to). She mentioned that she'd recently started talking to Steve again. They were just friends, she'd actually been married and divorced (to someone else) and she mentioned that Steve had been asking after me. So I emailed him and we swapped some emails for awhile but, unfortunately we once again fell out of touch.

The Back of my closet

Lauren has tagged me with a new Meme. She wants to know 8 things in the back of my closet.

So here goes:

1. All of the missing socks that anyone has EVER lost in their laundry (it's pretty smelly in there).
2. Laszlo Hollyfeld (if you haven't seen the Val Kilmer classic film, Real Genius this reference will be lost on you)
3. A perfectly preserved Woolly Mammoth.
4. A small family of Cavemen who are insured by Geico.
5. The corpse of a British Gecko that one of the aforementioned cavemen ran over.
6. The ghost of Robert Goulet (if I don't eat Emerald nuts, every day at 3pm he comes out and messes up my stuff).
7. The principal from The Breakfast Club. No, he doesn't raid Barry Manilow's wardrobe, he raids MY wardrobe!
8. Chuck Cunningham (Richie Cunningham's older brother went upstairs one day and NEVER came back down! He somehow ended up in my closet where he's been living ever since. And yes he still has a basketball under one arm and a sandwich in his opposite hand!)

There are also a few "straight" guys who swear that they're "just going through a phase" living in my closet. They're actually in the process of decorating it, even as I type this. ;-)

And to keep things interesting I tag (and if you prefer not to do the meme in your blog, you can do the meme in the comments to this blog):

1. Dantallion
2. Susan As Herself
3. Tornwordo
   

Gambling legs

So, I saw an ad for medication for Restless Leg Syndrome (RLS). Normally I ignore pharmaceutical commercials but something about this ad jumped out at me. One of the side-effects they warned of was compulsive gambling.

So how exactly does that work? "My RLS was acting up so I took my meds and next thing I knew I'd blown my nest egg at the craps tables."

Do our legs have a natural urge to gamble that we suppress? Do these RLS medications counteract the suppression of our natural gambling urges?

And what happens when: "I bet you your RLS meds that you can't go a week without taking them?"

Is it any cause for concern that gambling is mentioned as a side effect for a pharmaceutical? Will Vegas casinos start dispensing this medication out of vending machines?

Although, I suppose in the grand scheme of things "gambling urges" is a rather minor side effect compared to "possible death" or "violent diarrhea." I mean I'd rather have to suffer through the craps tables as opposed to crapping on tables.

Survey meme-age Snarfed from Brice

While I doubt I'll have as witty answers as Brice, I'm giving this meme the old college try...

1. You and Jesus go out to dinner - who pays?
I'll pay but I doubt it'll cost much. Jesus has a way of making a little food go a long way. And we could order water instead of wine. JC has that covered too!

2. You suddenly have to flee the country and adopt a new name.
John Jacob Jinglehiemerschmitt (his name is my name too, after all)

3. Pick one state in the U.S. to get rid of permanently?
New Jersey

4. You wake up as the opposite gender. What's the one thing you wanna do?
I can think of any number of things that I'd rather not admit to.

5. Luke Skywalker or Han Solo?
Han Solo

6. Toy you always wanted but never got as a child?
The USS Flagg (a GI Joe aircraft carrier)

7. What's is your relationship status?
Married

8. Are you happy with it?
Yes

9. What is the last movie you saw that actually scared you?
The ONLY movie I've ever seen that actually scared me was Rosemary's Baby.

10. Stupidest thing you've ever said out loud?
"Is this stool loose?" (don't ask)

11. You're sentenced to death and its the morning of your execution: what do you want to eat?
A large glass of prune juice, Cracklin' Oat Bran cereal... I want to make sure my executioner has quite the mess to clean up afterwards.

12. What's something that most people do that you've never done?
Die.

13. Before you die you want to go to...?
Australia

14. What's the last thing you ate?
blueberry yogurt

15. A wild animal you'd like to have as a pet?

a chimpanzee

16. A drug you'll never try?
Unless it's prescribed or available over the counter, I generally won't try it.

17. If you were an animal, what would you be?
A chimpanzee, I'd be almost guaranteed a career in show-biz... Chimps are everywhere! Greeting cards, Careerbuilder ads, Disney movies, BJ & the Bear reruns

18. If you had to marry someone you knew at the age of 12, who would it be?
Considering the gene pool in the town where I grew up, I'd likely opt to stay single. I seemed to have been related to most of the girls I might otherwise have found attractive.

19. What's something a lot of people don't know about you?
Bloody 'ell I don't know!

20. First celebrity crush?
Kylie Minogue (boy did I ever want to do the Loco-motion with her)

21. What's a weapon to suit your personality, habits and abilities?
Lawn chair (according to many concert venues with lawn seating, you're not permitted to bring lawnchairs as they could be used as "projectile weapons" but mysteriously you can rent them once you get inside)

22. Best flavor of runts?
I don't eat runts. So I wouldn't know

23. Favorite breakfast bread style (pancakes, waffles, toast etc...)?
Belgian waffles

24. Favorite parody movie?
My Boyfriend's Back (a zombie teen comedy)

25. Worst way to die?
slowly

26. Grossest injury you've ever seen?
There's that scene in Any Given Sunday where the football player's eye popped out. I know it was just special effects but man that was pretty gross.

27. The worst injury you've ever had?
I broke my wrist when I was about 5.

28. Favorite thing about Thanksgiving?
spending time with family.

29. Sport you hate the most?
I'm not much a fan of basketball.

30. What state in the US do you want to visit?
Arizona. I've never seen the Grand Canyon and I'd like to change that.

31. What's something you think would be sweet to know everything about?
Religion

32. Favourite Actor/Actress?
John Cusack

33. What's one phrase you absolutely detest?
I can't think of any off the top of my head even though I'm sure there's a whole litany of them that I'm forgetting.

34. What makes an awesome party?
The drunks.

35. What's your favorite material possession?
I don't really have one... you can't take it with you after all...

36. What's something that most consider an insult but you enjoy having said about you?
"He's weird." Yes I am, and I consider it an honour.

37. Favorite kind of dog(s)?
Beagle

38. Favorite carnival food (everyone has one)?
Fried Dough

39. Morning or night person?
Night

41. Weirdest Ebay purchase?
I've only ever purchased 3 items on eBay, all of them CDs. The weirdest was probably a bootleg of Beach Boy Dennis Wilson's unreleased 2nd album, Bamboo.

42. Life the Universe and Everything.
Don't Panic.

43. Its Saturday at 3am. Where are you?
likely in bed sleeping.

44. Who's your favorite friend to go out with?
My wife.

45. Worst job you've ever had?
Retail.

46. What's something your friends make fun of you for?
My "dancing" if it can really be called that.

47. Favorite cereal?
Weetabix

48. Book you could read repeatedly?
A Separate Peace by John Knowles

49. What's the meanest thing you've ever done?
No idea.

50. If you were drafted into a war, would you survive?
Depends on which branch and what part of that branch I'd be drafted into. With a college degree I'd like to think I'd have a stab at becoming an officer.

Sad Thursday

So today the candidate I was supporting, Mitt Romney, dropped out of the race and gave the best speech of his campaign... If only he'd given that speech BEFORE Super Tuesday his numbers and McCain's might have been a bit closer. At any rate in light of feeling dejected about Romney dropping out I had/have to share the following photo:

Amusing Morsels

Just a little somethin' somethin' to brighten up a rather dreary snowy hump day...

Redneck Haiku du jour:

Wedding night fireworks
as Flo's ex-husband threatens
to bring back the kids*

*from Redneck Haiku by Mary K. White

Quote du jour:

"But you know there's no such thing as the best at anything. Music is subjective. Art is subjective. Beauty is subjective. Do you think that when two ugly people are fucking they're saying 'Ha ha you're the ugliest person I ever fucked in my life?' No, of course not, they see beauty."-- Toto guitarist/vocalist Steve Lukather from his recent interview on Melodicrock.com

I understand, heck I even agree with what Lukather is saying... But DUDE!

Santa Claus endorses Romney!

Santa Claus is endorsing Mitt Romney!

Just remember, you heard it here first (photo courtesy FoxNews):Vote for Romney, you'll get more toys for Christmas!

*The photo is actually of David Woods a Berkeley delegate from West Virginia... But you must admit, the resemblance is uncanny!

Random thoughts

Have any of you ever seen an actor in a movie where he/she so owned the role and the overall performance that you have a really difficult time separating the actor from the role/performance? Any time you see that actor/actress in anything else you still picture them in that one movie where they WERE the character because they so owned the performance.

The first movie I ever saw Don Cheadle in was Boogie Nights and after that film for the longest time any time I saw him in any other film I just pictured an African-American porn star who loved country music and whose life ambition was to sell stereos...

Well last night it kind of happened again while I was watching Lost. There was a scene where Hugo Hurley (Jorge Garcia) was being interrogated by this detective (Michael Cudlitz). And I instantly recognized Cudlitz from his small role in Grosse Point Blank as Bob Destepello. I suddenly pictured a drunk guy reading poetry to John Cusack. And I realized anything I see that guy in from here on out I'll be picturing him drunk and reading poetry.

Misplaced House

Okay, I thought the whole John Darwin amnesiac canoeist fraud was the pinnacle of unusual crime news stories... but then the damn Aussies come up with an even stranger story to top the Brits with their Darwin case:

Missing woman's 'demolished' house reappears

Cold-case detectives will travel to Bendigo today to investigate fresh leads in the 21-year-old mystery of missing Melbourne woman Marlene McDonald.

The Reservoir house Mrs McDonald was living in at the time of her disappearance was initially thought to have been demolished, but has instead been transported to the Bendigo area, police said today.

Forensic experts and detectives will undertake forensic testing on the Elm Street house and recreate the scene of the night of Marlene's disappearance.

The move comes a week after detectives reopened the investigation into Mrs McDonald's disappearance.

Police last week offered a $100,000 reward and possible indemnity from prosecution for anyone who helps police solve the McDonald case.

Mrs McDonald was estranged from her husband when she disappeared on December 14, 1986 after a night out with friends.

Soon after, two anonymous phone calls to the Truck City Restaurant and Cafe - where she worked as a waitress - indicated the 36-year-old mother-of-five was dead.

Detectives last week revisited witnesses and door-knocked the Wattle Grove area of Reservoir, where Mrs McDonald lived, and Truck City in nearby Campbellfield.

Mrs McDonald's elderly mother, Edie McEntee, made a tearful plea last week for help to solve the case.

AAP

I'm just trying to picture this in my head... Someone turns up missing, and the cops go to investigate the home as a possible crime scene and when they get there, they're told the house has been demolished, when in reality the house has just been relocated. I've got to give credit where it's due though. I mean wiping away prints is one thing, but relocating an ENTIRE HOUSE in order to conceal a crime. Now that shows some serious gumption!

"Now where did I leave my house... Oh bloody hell, it's in Bendigo now! Bollocks, that's going to be murder on my commute."

The Workout Video to End all Workout videos!

I think I may have just found my new workout video:



"So, what did yo do at the gym today?"
"Well, I did 5 reps of 'Is the taxi on its way?', 10 reps of 'Take anything you want.' and finished with 15 reps of 'I was robbed by two men.'"

Easily the best video since Normlr posted the music video for I Wanna Love You Tender.

Thanks to my ol' chum, E-ven for tipping me off to this gem.