Beer 101

As some of you well know I'm a bit of a beer snob. I'm not much of a fan of the mass market watered-down, over-carbonated swill that American "breweries" pass off as beer. And honestly when it comes to that mass-market, watered down, over-carbonated swill-- the Canadians do a much better job of it than the Americans.

So here are a few rules I've come up with:

1. Americans only enjoy over-carbonated, watered-down beer because they've had their tastebuds numbed by decades of bland, cookie-cutter, fast-food.
   
2. American beer doesn't taste bad... it doesn't taste at all. It's fermented water.
3. In a pinch if one must drink mass-market American beer (micro-brews are by and large excluded from these rules), in a pinch, contrary to popular belief, Miller IS preferable to Budweiser and/or Coors.
4. That being said Miller is still inferior to LaBatt's and Molson... Canadian fermented water has SOME taste and thus it is superior to the swill from the USA.
5. As bad as American beer is, Mexican beer is, for the most part, worse. The exception being Bohemian which is a German style Mexican beer which is far more palatable than Mexican style, Mexican beers. If you're not supposed to drink the water in Mexico, why would you drink the beer which is comprised predominantly of water?
6. Good beer is generally darker, heavier, and far less carbonated than traditional American beer. The best of which comes from places like Scotland, Ireland, Germany, England, and Belgium.
   
7. American beer is bad because American brewmeisters see beer as a science... Beer is not a science it's an art and therein lies the fatal flaw of American beer

Any questions?