Friday, April 28, 2006

The Vegemite Poem

I wrote this short poem awhile back-- it's fictitious, although I used my name and my wife's name in the poem:

The Vegemite Poem

Miss Toni, Miss Toni I have for you a treat
So grab a napkin and take a seat
I will serve you some Vegemite Spread
Some delicious Vegemite, you’ll be well fed

"Ack, that’s disgusting I must say
Please take that nasty shit away!"
You will not eat Vegemite Spread?
"I will not eat Vegemite!" Miss Toni said

You would not eat it on a boat?
You would not share it with a goat?
You would not eat Vegemite Spread?
"I will not eat Vegemite!" Miss Toni said

Would you eat it in a car?
Perhaps served on crackers at a bar?
"I would not eat Vegemite Spread!
I will not eat Vegemite!" Miss Toni said

Maybe have it with some fries?
A Tuna Vegemite Casserole Surprise?
"I would not eat Vegemite Spread!
I will not eat Vegemite!" Miss Toni said

A dab of Vegemite on some toast,
In a French Chateau on the coast?
"I would not eat Vegemite Spread!
I will not eat Vegemite!" Miss Toni said

On a pizza with some cheese,
Instead of pepperoni, if you please?
"I would not eat Vegemite Spread!
I will not eat Vegemite!" Miss Toni said

In a soup with barley and beef?
Or in a salad with rolled grape leaf?
"I would not eat Vegemite Spread!
I will not eat Vegemite!" Miss Toni said

C’mon please just try a taste,
It’s much too good for me to waste
"Okay, I’ll try that Vegemite Spread!
I’ll try that Vegemite!" Miss Toni said

"This is disgusting, I must say.
Now shut up already, you got your way.
"More for me, More Vegemite Spread!
I’ll finish that Vegemite!" Mister Darrin said

8 comments:

David Amulet said...

Beautiful, in its own way. Dr. Seuss would be proud.

-- david

Perplexio said...

David: Thanks. I don't think it quite compares to Soccer Mom but it was fun to write.

Oh and for the record, I ended up not liking Vegemite either. I think one needs to be born and raised in Australia to actually like that stuff, it's rather disgusting imho. Some of the Vegemite dishes I mentioned in the poem were actually inspired by a Vegemite recipe web site.

Snooze said...

You plied her with vegemite and she still married you? That woman is gold.

Keshi said...

I come from the land down under...;-) so yeah I LOVE Vegemite mayyyte! Whoever said it's disgusting? Had it this morning too :)

Keshi.

Susan as herself said...

Why do I get the inevitable sense that some Aussie rapper might be singing this on TRL soon?

Although you'd have to add quite a few more curse words.

Perplexio said...

An Aussie rapper?!?! hehehe, the mental images going through my head!

There'd probably be some heavy digiridoo sampling in it too.

Perplexio said...

Keshi: I ended up not liking it much. I think one needs to be raised on it to enjoy it. My wife can't stand it, but for some reason her sister and parents enjoy it and its British cousin, Marmite.

Keshi said...

hehe fair enough...not many ppl here too like it :)

I love Marmite too yummmy! Must be just me hahaha!

Keshi.