A subject was recently broached in another blog by an old friend... He was recounting his "invisibility" the opposite sex in a bar and resulting anger and frustration.
I responded (as did one of his other friends) that he'd never find what he was looking for in that setting. When you're in a bar, people pick up on your vibe, no matter how hard you try to hide it. If you're looking for more than just a roll in the hay you become kryptonite for all the supermen or superwomen in the bar.
This is a good guy, once upon a time he, my ex-girlfriend, and I were three peas in a pod. We spent a lot of time together. Then when said girl broke my heart, he was a good sport, he got me out there, did his best to get my mind off the girl. And he remained friends with her too for awhile at least. I was cool with that. Then the two of them also had a falling out. I don't know the whole story behind it, never will, don't want to, and don't really care any more. That was almost five years ago so it's long past the point of relevancy.
Unfortunately his falling out with her caused a rift between he and I when I started dating my next girlfriend whom I later left Ohio for and married. You see, because of his falling out with my ex, he stayed away from Toni as if SHE were kryptonite... once bitten, twice shy I guess. When she came to visit he never even really acknowledged her. Here I was dating someone new, she'd driven out from Chicago to Cleveland to see me and he was giving her (and by extension me) a sub-zero cold shoulder for the duration of her visit. I was pissed and I let him know it. And while it didn't ruin the friendship it certainly put a wedge between us.
As a result when I did move away, I didn't put much of an effort into keeping in touch, he didn't really either though. So when I read his blog, I still miss the friendship and wish I were there to talk some sense into him or just to listen to him vent... maybe he just needs/needed a kind ear.
Deep down inside, despite our differences, drifting apart-- I know he's still a good person and deserves far better than what he's hoping to find in a bar. I told him as much and I do hope he finds it, and I hope he starts looking for it in a place where he actually stands some chance of finding it.
Showing posts with label friendship. Show all posts
Showing posts with label friendship. Show all posts
Thursday, February 22, 2007
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
Plastic Flowers
So an old sport I know from back in my Ohio days recently put together a short film with a bunch of his new mates-- Plastic Flowers and submitted it to a short film contest sponsored by the Sci-Fi channel. This short is now posted and is up for voting on both the Sundance and Sci Fi Channel websites:
Film name: Plastic Flowers
Here are the webaddresses:
http://www.scifi.com/exposure/
http://www.sundancechannel.com/exposure/
I haven't had the chance to watch it yet myself, but I fully intend to do a solid for my mate, watch it and vote for it once on each of those sites (you can only vote once per site). As a flavor to the lad I'm spreading the word. So give the film a looksie, and if you happen to dig it, toss a few votes its way and spread the word to all the blokes and sheilas you know.
Film name: Plastic Flowers
Here are the webaddresses:
http://www.scifi.com/exposure/
http://www.sundancechannel.com
I haven't had the chance to watch it yet myself, but I fully intend to do a solid for my mate, watch it and vote for it once on each of those sites (you can only vote once per site). As a flavor to the lad I'm spreading the word. So give the film a looksie, and if you happen to dig it, toss a few votes its way and spread the word to all the blokes and sheilas you know.
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
Life
So, I've been a bit AWOL lately. Life kind of got in the way-- last Friday I was in a bit of a fender bender... well I tapped a Jeep Wrangler when my Toyota Corolla slid into the back of it. My Toyota didn't fare so well. It crumpled like paper and that was all she wrote, boss.
Luckily, I was unscathed as was the other driver.
Given such a shitty Friday night my weekend could (and did) only get better from there. Saturday morning my friend, Sarah, from Vermont flew in. She'd never been to Chicago before so Toni & I promptly took her to see the city. We started out by going to the observation deck of the Hancock building where we drank in the view from all angles before exploring Michigan Ave. and Millennium Park. Toni got some great pics of "the bean" which I'll be sure to share once I find the USB cable that goes to my digital camera (d'oh!). Sarah absolutely loved the city! We then proceded to a liquor store in the 'burbs to do some last minute stocking up for the party. We got this kick ass gin-- Henderson's or Hendrick's or something like that. It recommends drinking it with a slice of cucumber instead of lime. It was a HUGE hit at the party. Sarah is apparently cut from the same mold as Toni & I as we all are gin drinkers who prefer Beefeater and Bombay over Tanqueray.
Sunday we showed Sarah a bit of downtown Naperville and went out for brunch before returning to the pad to introduce Sarah to the joys of the British sitcom, Coupling. Even I'd forgotten how much I love that show. And even though I'd seen the episodes we watched together countless times before I still found myself laughing just as hard-- gut clutching, doubled-over, squinting through tears of laughter!
And even though Sarah & Toni had only ever met in person once before they were thick as thieves.... and she and I, well we picked up right where we'd left off. We reminisced about high school teachers, classmates, old haunts and stomping grounds... considering that I'm not really in touch with too many other friends from back in Malone, reminiscing isn't something I don't get to do that often. Our friends welcomed Sarah into the fold as if they'd known her for years. It was just so heartwarming to celebrate 30 years with such a loving, caring, and close-knit group of friends.
Current Music: Head Over Heels - Tears for Fears
Luckily, I was unscathed as was the other driver.
Given such a shitty Friday night my weekend could (and did) only get better from there. Saturday morning my friend, Sarah, from Vermont flew in. She'd never been to Chicago before so Toni & I promptly took her to see the city. We started out by going to the observation deck of the Hancock building where we drank in the view from all angles before exploring Michigan Ave. and Millennium Park. Toni got some great pics of "the bean" which I'll be sure to share once I find the USB cable that goes to my digital camera (d'oh!). Sarah absolutely loved the city! We then proceded to a liquor store in the 'burbs to do some last minute stocking up for the party. We got this kick ass gin-- Henderson's or Hendrick's or something like that. It recommends drinking it with a slice of cucumber instead of lime. It was a HUGE hit at the party. Sarah is apparently cut from the same mold as Toni & I as we all are gin drinkers who prefer Beefeater and Bombay over Tanqueray.
Sunday we showed Sarah a bit of downtown Naperville and went out for brunch before returning to the pad to introduce Sarah to the joys of the British sitcom, Coupling. Even I'd forgotten how much I love that show. And even though I'd seen the episodes we watched together countless times before I still found myself laughing just as hard-- gut clutching, doubled-over, squinting through tears of laughter!
And even though Sarah & Toni had only ever met in person once before they were thick as thieves.... and she and I, well we picked up right where we'd left off. We reminisced about high school teachers, classmates, old haunts and stomping grounds... considering that I'm not really in touch with too many other friends from back in Malone, reminiscing isn't something I don't get to do that often. Our friends welcomed Sarah into the fold as if they'd known her for years. It was just so heartwarming to celebrate 30 years with such a loving, caring, and close-knit group of friends.
Current Music: Head Over Heels - Tears for Fears
Thursday, October 19, 2006
breaking the silence (or is it the wind)
I've been really busy lately, between the move and things at work. I'm prepping for a trip to Toronto for a regional meeting early next month.
Oh and I'm a huge Mets fan... consideirng it's been six years since they've been in the playoffs and twenty since they won the World Series, I'm quite excited about that.
In other news... I have an awesome wife. I mean, I know... all happily married husbands would say the same, but Toni has gone all out for my thirtieth birthday.
1) She invited my friend Sarah from high school to come out for my 30th birthday party. Sarah booked her flight a few weeks back-- so that's cool beans.
2) Season 3 of Arrested Development-- for Christmas last year she got me seasons 1 & 2. So now I have the complete series (and much happiness!)
3) 2 tickets to see Toto live at the Chicago House of Blues... Yes, Toto as in Rosanna, Hold the Line, and Africa. I'm a big fan and this band is indirectly responsible for my wife & I meeting. And yes I just admitted I'm a big Toto fan (in case you're rubbing your eyes to make sure you read that right). I dragged my wife to see Chicago live once and to see Peter Cetera live once... I've assured her that Toto puts on a much more uptempo and lively show than either Peter Cetera or Chicago.
4) She contacted my family and asked that they spend Thanksgiving at my brother's in Virginia so that we could belatedly celebrate my birthday as a family. Not all of my family will make it but my sister is driving up to Virginia from South Carolina with her husband and 14 year old to celebrate with my brother, his family, and my parents who are driving down from NY state to also join us. So we'll have a partial or at least a mini reunion... On top of that Toni has never met this particular brother of mine nor his family. And this will be my first time meeting my great-nephew, Kevin, who will be just over a year old by Thanksgiving.
On top of that she's assured me that there's something else she's saving for my actual birthday next week.
On another note-- before becoming a homeowner, I was told it changes you and brings you closer to that special someone. I believed what I was told but I didn't fully appreciate the extent to which it would happen. There's less arguing, more cuddling, and our times together just seem that much more special.
Oh and I'm a huge Mets fan... consideirng it's been six years since they've been in the playoffs and twenty since they won the World Series, I'm quite excited about that.
In other news... I have an awesome wife. I mean, I know... all happily married husbands would say the same, but Toni has gone all out for my thirtieth birthday.
1) She invited my friend Sarah from high school to come out for my 30th birthday party. Sarah booked her flight a few weeks back-- so that's cool beans.
2) Season 3 of Arrested Development-- for Christmas last year she got me seasons 1 & 2. So now I have the complete series (and much happiness!)
3) 2 tickets to see Toto live at the Chicago House of Blues... Yes, Toto as in Rosanna, Hold the Line, and Africa. I'm a big fan and this band is indirectly responsible for my wife & I meeting. And yes I just admitted I'm a big Toto fan (in case you're rubbing your eyes to make sure you read that right). I dragged my wife to see Chicago live once and to see Peter Cetera live once... I've assured her that Toto puts on a much more uptempo and lively show than either Peter Cetera or Chicago.
4) She contacted my family and asked that they spend Thanksgiving at my brother's in Virginia so that we could belatedly celebrate my birthday as a family. Not all of my family will make it but my sister is driving up to Virginia from South Carolina with her husband and 14 year old to celebrate with my brother, his family, and my parents who are driving down from NY state to also join us. So we'll have a partial or at least a mini reunion... On top of that Toni has never met this particular brother of mine nor his family. And this will be my first time meeting my great-nephew, Kevin, who will be just over a year old by Thanksgiving.
On top of that she's assured me that there's something else she's saving for my actual birthday next week.
On another note-- before becoming a homeowner, I was told it changes you and brings you closer to that special someone. I believed what I was told but I didn't fully appreciate the extent to which it would happen. There's less arguing, more cuddling, and our times together just seem that much more special.
Saturday, July 22, 2006
On Writing
This evening as my wife & I were driving to her boss's home for a company picnic, it really sunk in that I finally feel some sense of "home" here. It took a bit longer for that to happen here than it took to happen when I lived in Ohio. But I felt generally comfortable in my skin, moreso than I've felt before. Something about the experience felt "right"-- not necesarily like we "belong here" but more that we've developed some sense of home.
I found out a friend of mine with whom I'd lost touch finally left the retail store where we'd both worked back in Ohio. I'm happy for him. I know I felt like my life was in a rut when I was working there, and shortly after I'd moved out here when he and I were still in touch he told me, "you needed a change of zip code." At the time I knew he was right and I really took to heart what he'd said.
I mean one can only "bounce around" the midwest for so long before it comes time to settle down and working retail with a college degree wasn't exactly me living up to my potential.
When I first moved out here, I was still writing quite a bit-- I don't mean blogging (although I was doing that too), I mean pen to paper. It wasn't really my innermost thoughts or anything deep like that. It was rants of things that annoyed me and general observations. Sometimes I'd end up posting my ramblings, but a lot of those writings have remained in one of 2 or 3 journals I was keeping at the time. I even had this fountain pen, still have it, that was like a security blanket to me. I loved that pen even more than my binkie when I was four. I didn't feel complete without it. And even if I didn't happen to have one of my journals, I found paper, napkins, post-it notes, legal pads, my random thoughts were spread over a myriad of different forms of paper.
For awhile I think I "lost my way" when it came to writing, so now as I'm working on these various short stories, I feel alive again. For the first time in a long time, and it feels really good. I don't know where these stories are going, plot has never been my strong point. I've always let the characters and the dialogue drive the plot. It's almost a Kerouac-esque stream of conciousness style-- but in the second person. And, admittedly, I'm no Jack Kerouac, but the more I write the more I do notice that On the Road has had some level of influence on me.
Well, at any rate, I've got a short story with 2 characters sitting in a car, and they need me to continue writing so they can reach their destination. But much like with life, I don't know where their journey will take them. The ignition has been turned, now it's time to put the car in gear and go. And something tells me that my characters are just as excited as I am to find out where they'll end up.
I found out a friend of mine with whom I'd lost touch finally left the retail store where we'd both worked back in Ohio. I'm happy for him. I know I felt like my life was in a rut when I was working there, and shortly after I'd moved out here when he and I were still in touch he told me, "you needed a change of zip code." At the time I knew he was right and I really took to heart what he'd said.
I mean one can only "bounce around" the midwest for so long before it comes time to settle down and working retail with a college degree wasn't exactly me living up to my potential.
When I first moved out here, I was still writing quite a bit-- I don't mean blogging (although I was doing that too), I mean pen to paper. It wasn't really my innermost thoughts or anything deep like that. It was rants of things that annoyed me and general observations. Sometimes I'd end up posting my ramblings, but a lot of those writings have remained in one of 2 or 3 journals I was keeping at the time. I even had this fountain pen, still have it, that was like a security blanket to me. I loved that pen even more than my binkie when I was four. I didn't feel complete without it. And even if I didn't happen to have one of my journals, I found paper, napkins, post-it notes, legal pads, my random thoughts were spread over a myriad of different forms of paper.
For awhile I think I "lost my way" when it came to writing, so now as I'm working on these various short stories, I feel alive again. For the first time in a long time, and it feels really good. I don't know where these stories are going, plot has never been my strong point. I've always let the characters and the dialogue drive the plot. It's almost a Kerouac-esque stream of conciousness style-- but in the second person. And, admittedly, I'm no Jack Kerouac, but the more I write the more I do notice that On the Road has had some level of influence on me.
Well, at any rate, I've got a short story with 2 characters sitting in a car, and they need me to continue writing so they can reach their destination. But much like with life, I don't know where their journey will take them. The ignition has been turned, now it's time to put the car in gear and go. And something tells me that my characters are just as excited as I am to find out where they'll end up.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
