A Reflection on the Past Year

Normally the holiday season is a time in which many of us reflect on the year that's just passed and prepare for the year to come.  For others reflection this time of year is limited to noticing Christmas decorations out of the corner of their eyes as they look in the mirror.

I wish I could say I had something deep or profound to offer, that maybe I'd solved or at least gained enough of a unique perspective on one or more of the many problems plaguing the world, or at least my country, to have done something substantial to contribute to the forward growth and evolution of humanity.

Heck, I'd settle for having written and published a short story... perhaps even the Great American Short Story (I know I don't yet have the discipline to have written a novel, let alone the Great American Novel-- baby steps!).  But no, not yet. 

Admittedly, the past year has been far more about parenthood than penmanship or writing.  With just over 18 months under my belt I'm still rather new to this fatherhood gig and with my daughter at the age she is and changing as fast as she is and being as resistant to change as I can be at times... it has been a challenge.  At the rate she's growing and developing, just as I start to figure things out I have to start figuring things out all over again.  Intially I had to learn to step in and help out more and now it's more a matter of stepping back and letting her figure things out for herself more and as she further develops letting her learn from her own mistakes more and more.  This isn't a case of "woe is me" I know this tale of parenting is an old one and there are other fathers facing greater challenges than I.  I welcome the challenges and look forward to continuing to see things for the first time all over again through my daughter's eyes.  On a somewhat corollary note, I have noticed that those overly sentimental father-daughter songs are having an exponentially increasing emotional effect on me.

Another change that has taken place over the past eighteen months is a shift of priorities from what is important to my wife & I as individuals and as a couple to what is important to us as a family unit and how those shifting priorities have started to dictate our actions more.  One of the things that both my wife & I have mentioned is an apprehension that as she grows up our daughter will see us merely as her parents.  We want her to have a sense of who we were and are as individuals as well as her parents.  We want her to understand that while that is part of who we are-- it's not all of who we are.  I think in better understanding the full scope of who her parents are, Samantha, will be better equipped to figure out who she is as she grows older. 

As a bit of a genealogy and history buff, I believe part of who you are is on some level the sum experiences of your ancestors.  We learn from their mistakes and their traditions help give us a sense of who we are and a sense that we're part of something much bigger.  Since my wife & father-in-law are British and my mother-in-law is Kiwi my wife & I have discussed celebrating some British and possibly some Kiwi holidays with Sami to better understand and appreciate her background.  For example I suggested we make a tradition of celebrating St. George's Day and possibly the Queen's Birthday starting with the upcoming year.  Living in America, she'll automatically already gain exposure to the American holidays so we don't really have to go out of our way to celebrate those.  And she has already started to get a semblance of her British heritage as we celebrate Christmas with my in-laws who incorporate their English traditions with their adopted American ones.  Christmas crackers, plum pudding with brandy sauce, mince pies (something I was lukewarm about initially, but I've grown to love more each successive year that my wife has made them). 

We've also started some traditions our own for the holiday season that may or may not be unique but are certainly special to us.  On Christmas Eve, we're joined by our daughter's godfather for dinner.  He lives close by and has become quite an active participant in her life.  And at some point over the following week I make "sausage bread" something I picked up from one of my sisters.  Admittedly hers is far better than mine as she does it from scratch whereas I get by with a little help from the Pillsbury Dough Boy.  Maybe I should take my parenting cues from him too.

Another year over, a new one just begun...

The holidays have come and gone. It's been a bit bittersweet. All of that build-up and within moments the wrapping paper is in shreds on the floor and for all the toys my daughter received her first Christmas she was considerably more interested in playing with the wrapping paper than what was wrapped in it.

There was something quite special seeing Christmas through her eyes, almost like experiencing it for the first time all over again. There was a tremendous sense of wonder and joy the whole day.

After opening gifts at home we went over to my in-laws to open yet more gifts and to spend the rest of the day with them. It was their first Christmas with a grandchild so it was quite special for them as well. I also wrote in my Daddy/Daughter journal for the first time since July! (Around the time she was born my wife & I both started writing letters to our daughter in hardback journals with the intention of giving those journals to her when she's old enough to enjoy them. It's just a little something special we want her to have when she starts on her journey into adulthood, a bit of reminder of her youthful innocence in the hopes she'll hold on to that innocence as long as possible). At any rate I was long overdue in writing a letter.

Looking ahead to the new year, I'm looking forward to seeing a whole new string of firsts for my daughter, to experience things for the first time all over again as I watch them through her eyes with wonder and amazement.

Christmas Music

With the Christmas season upon us now is as good a time as any to bring this up. For those of you who enjoy Christmas music what are some of your favorites? What do you think are the "definitive versions" of some of the Christmas classics? And what's your take on the new Christmas offerings this season from Bob Dylan?!?! and REO Speedwagon?

Some of my favorites include:
Hall & Oates - Jingle Bell Rock (I actually prefer their version over the original)
Roch Voisine - O Holy Night (my favorite version of my favorite Christmas song. Voisine is a French-Canadian singer with an exceptional voice who releases albums in his native Canada in both English and French. He has 2 Christmas albums, 1 in French, 1 in English)
Roch Voisine - I'll Be Home For Christmas
Band Aid - Do They Know It's Christmas
Chicago - Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas
Chicago - What Child Is This
Chicago - O Come All Ye Faithful
Chicago - Bethlehem (an original song by Bill Champlin)
Bob Seger & the Silver Bullet Band - Little Drummer Boy
David Bowie/Bing Crosby - Peace On Earth/Little Drummer Boy
John Lennon - Happy Xmas (War Is Over)
Bing Crosby - White Christmas
Chris Rea - Driving Home For Christmas
Olivia Olson - All I Want for Christmas Is You (from the movie Love Actually, I much prefer this version over Mariah Carey's version)
Craig Armstrong - Glasgow Love Theme (a beautiful instrumental theme from Love Actually)
Billy Mack - Christmas Is All Around (also from Love Actually. It reminds me of the movie, which I love so as bad as it is, it always makes me smile)
Trans Siberian Orchestra - Christmas Eve Sarajevo
Steve Lukather & Sammy Davis Jr. - Jingle Bells (from Lukather's Santamental CD, very tongue-in-cheek, very fun)
Dan Fogleberg - Same Auld Lang Syne
Kevin Gilbert & Jonathan Brooke - O Come Emmanuel
Robert Lamm - O Little Town of Bethlehem (I have no idea what this is from. It doesn't appear on Chicago's Christmas album. It even predates it by several years. It's also not on any of Lamm's solo albums, but he does a great job on it)

And this gets an honorable mention because it's such an unusual departure from the traditional arangement of the song:

Jon Anderson - Oh Holy Night

Your turn!

An interesting email exchange

Today I received one of those chain email forwards from an old colleague and friend from my previous job:

I hate these things, sorry to pass this on but I did the quiz and at the bottom of the quiz there is a disclaimer that says if you don’t pass it on you’ll get the opposite of your wish. The opposite of my wish isn’t pretty, so I had no choice. Ok, so I’m superstitious…

I followed the instructions in the email and responded back:

Mine was way way way off the mark. I wished for nothing. I’m not forwarding it to anyone… the opposite of nothing is something. I know that’s kind of vague and ambiguous… but we’ll see, I guess.

To which he responded:

So was mine was too, but I wished hot s*x with a hot skinny young chick and I didn’t want to risk getting the opposite…..

I couldn't resist so...

A cool obese old man? Santa Claus perhaps? Don’t forget to leave the cookies on the nightstand.

It's that time of year again...

I have some mixed feelings about this time of year. Growing up I always looked forward to Christmas and not just because of the presents when I was a kid. I come from a large family and there's a substantial age gap between the rest of my siblings and I. There's only a 6 year age gap between my eldest sister and the youngest of my older brothers... However, there's a 12 year age gap between the youngest of my older brothers and I. Growing up, my parents & I would drive to Viriginia to celebrate Christmas with my brother, Kevin, as he was usually unable to make it home for Christmas and then at Christmas the rest of my siblings came home. It always made for a fun, lively, and busy household at the holidays and it often stretched out Christmas a few extra days. As I got older instead of spending Christmas together. It turned into Christmas with my parents & I, and one of my brothers and his family. The rest of my siblings would do small Christmases with their family and then come into town on the 26th. We'd do a big dinner and then open the presents we'd got for one another. So that made for 2 days of Christmas. Given the age gap, I missed growing up with my siblings, and Christmas time was the one time of year when I got a sample of what it was like having them around.

On the flip side, the holidays have also been a time of loss. One night in December 1984, I was on the way home from school with my Dad. We stopped at Sherwin-Williams, don't know why, but they received a call from my Mom telling us to get home as soon as possible, there was an emergency. So we rushed home. My grandfather, who spent his days in the woods hadn't come home. His brother and some family friends had gone looking for him. He'd had a heart attack and hit his head on a tree as he fell to the ground. While he made it to the hospital, he didn't survive the evening. He was 74. Not young, but with me being just 7, my time with him was cut considerably shorter than the amount of time my older siblings had with him.

In November 1988 one of my cousins, only 19 years old, was killed in a car accident. He was only 7 years older than I was and I'd just seen him the previous month when he'd come home from his college in North Carolina for Columbus Day Weekend. I didn't know then that it would be the last time I'd see him alive.

In December 2001, I was celebrating Christmas with my then girlfriend and her mom and brother in Ohio. Working 2 retail jobs, I didn't have the time nor money to make it home for the holidays. A few days before Christmas I was told that my grandmother's health was failing. I later found out that she died in the early morning hours of December 26th. Unfortunately, I didn't make it home in time to say goodbye while she was still alive. I was the only one of my siblings who didn't have that opportunity. I did fly in for the funeral. And it was a beautiful experience. My grandmother was 93 when she passed away. She'd lived a good long life. Her funeral was a celebration of her life, not a mourning of her passing. It was also the first time all of my siblings and I were home at Christmas time in about 19 or 20 years. It was also one of the last times I saw my great aunt & uncle (my grandmother's younger sister and brother-in-law). Because I'd never known my Dad's father (he died when my Dad was only 17) and lost my other grandfather when I was only 7, my great uncle, Bob, was the closest I came to having and knowing a grandfather. I won't speak for my siblings, but I consider that to be my grandmother's final Christmas gift to us. And honestly it was one of the best, if not THE best Christmas gift I've ever received.

Do you still believe in Father Christmas?

Merry Christmas to all! Sometimes cover versions of songs are respectable, sometimes they surpass the original version (Joe Cocker's cover of With a Little Help From My Friends and UB40's cover of Red Red Wine both come to mind).

With that in mind--

U2 - I Believe in Father Christmas



And for those who prefer/miss the original
Greg Lake - I Believe in Father Christmas

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Now playing: Sarah Blasko - Flame Trees
via FoxyTunes