Pieces of Perplexio π

We're two of a kind....

2011-12-05T19:26:00.001-08:00

If I cried out loud of the sorrow I've known
And the secrets I've heard
It would me ease my mind
Someone sharing the load
But I won't breathe a word

We're two of a kind
Silence and I
We need a chance to talk things over
Two of a kind
Silence and I
We'll find a way to work it out

While the children laughed
I was always afraid
Of the smile of the clown
So I close my eyes
Till I can't see the light
And I hide from the sound

We're two of a kind
Silence and I
We need a chance to talk things over
Two of a kind
Silence and I
We'll find a way to work it out

I can hear the cry
Of the leaf on a tree
As it falls to the ground
I can hear the call
Of an echoing voice
And there's no one around

We're two of a kind
Silence and I
We need a chance to talk things over
Two of a kind
Silence and I
We'll find a way to work it out

For some reason this song really speaks to me lately. I've been on a big Alan Parsons Project kick lately. This is one of their most hauntingly beautiful songs sung by the late Eric Woolfson (the same guy who sang Time and Eye In the Sky). Listening to APP and Pink Floyd you can really hear how PF influenced Alan Parsons (or was it the other way around as Parsons was the engineer for Dark Side of the Moon). Take this live version of Time for example, it sounds like it could just easily be a Pink Floyd song:

And now check out Pink Floyd's Us & Them:

The similarities are more than a little bit uncanny, aren't they?

On Broadway

2011-11-12T13:12:00.001-08:00

In April 1991 I went to Montreal to see Les Miserables. It was the first professionally done musical I'd ever seen. I loved it. I was hooked. Since then I've also seen Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat (performed by college students at the Crane School of Music at SUNY Potsdam) and Miss Saigon.

While I've never seen Phantom of the Opera I do have it on CD (in both English and German) and have listened to it countless times (oddly enough I prefer the German version despite my lack of comprehension of the language... the German singers sing it with far more power and emotion than the London cast).

I've started delving into other musicals I've not yet seen-- Whistle Down the Wind, Ragtime, Jekyll & Hyde, Movin' Out, Martin Guerre, Titanic, Mama Mia, and even the German musical Tanz der Vampire. I've especially enjoyed Whistle Down the Wind and Tanz der Vampire both of which were co-written by Jim Steinman (best known for writing all of the material on Meat Loaf's first 2 Bat Out of Hell albums (not to mention much of the material on the 3rd one as well), he also wrote Air Supply's Making Love Out of Nothing At All, Bonnie Tyler's Total Eclipse of the Heart, and Celine Dion's It's All Coming Back to Me Now).

I've tried some of the older musicals like Oklahoma, West Side Story, & Carousel but none of them have really grabbed me the way the more contemporary musicals have. Perhaps it's that those musicals haven't aged well. The stories may be good but much of that music does sound dated today. In all fairness the music to many of these more contemporary musicals that I've come to enjoy may also end up sounding a bit dated.

There's an emotional power in the vocal performances in many of these musicals that has the capacity imho to bring even the hardiest of men to tears. The words aren't just sung, the emotions that go with the words come pouring out too, much moreso than in spoken word. The same can be said in certain rock and pop songs but many of them are too "light" to really pull that off.

I've heard that 80s pop mall starlet, Debbie Gibson, only ever pursued pop music to bide her time and make some extra money as her voice matured. She had come from broadway singing the part of "Young Cosette" in Les Miserables as a child but her voice hadn't yet matured enough to sing either the parts of the adult Cosette or even the more heart-wrenching vocal performance of Eponine in that musical. She did inevitably go back to Broadway using her full name, "Deborah Gibson," instead of the more tween-teen sounding "Debbie."

Smooth Criminal

2011-11-09T16:45:00.000-08:00

The recent guilty verdict of Dr. Conrad Murray has given me reason to pause... Not so much the verdict itself (which was and is just), but the public reaction to it.

Seemingly getting lost in the mix is Jackson's own culpability in his untimely demise. Yes Murray was a well-paid and willing accomplice, but Jackson knew what he was doing, he knew it was wrong, and despite paying a doctor to assist him in his rather posh drug habit, he did bring it upon himself. Murray, while guilty, was an accomplice and not the murderer that many Jackson fans paint him to be.

What bothers me about the reaction is the perpetuation of the buck-passing, "it's always someone else's fault" mentality. In the end no one "won" this case and the unfortunate biggest loser in this case was any semblance of personal accountability.

Jackson was largely martyred in his passing for the immense talent he showed in life. The voices condemning his actions, his own hand in his demise were muted if not silenced by the voices that lifted his legend onto pedestals at the expense of any semblance of Jackson's accountability for the actions that led to his death.

And now those same voices are cheering his "murderer"... While it's good that Murray is being held accountable for his role Jackson's passing, referring to him as a "murderer" is an insult to personal accountability. Jackson was his own murderer... Murray just provided the means and "supervision" that allowed MJ to commit his crime.

Expanding Musical Horizons in Young Ears

2011-11-05T11:48:00.000-07:00

The past few weeks I've been trying to expose my daughter... (it sounds really bad if I leave it at that, doesn't it?) to more of "Daddy's taste in music." The past couple of months we've been listening to The Best of 1927 (an Aussie pop band from the late 80s), Chicago 16, and Chicago 17.

At eleven when my interests started shifted firmly away from toys to music my favorite albums were Chicago 16, 17, and 18. I listened to them incessantly. As my taste in music matured I started exploring more and more of Chicago's back catalog. Those eighties albums were like "gateway drugs" that started feeding my interest in exploring the band's more adventurous material from earlier in their careers.

While I now prefer their earlier material (much of which was recorded before I was even a glimmer in my parents' eyes) I still hold a soft spot in my heart for their eighties material. If not for getting "hooked" on their later material, I might never have later discovered their more complex and interesting earlier material.

With that in mind, I figured that if I want to get my daughter interested in Chicago I should start with the same albums that initially sparked my interest. Listening to Chicago 16 & 17 again as much as I have been the past couple of months has reminded me that despite not being as daring as their earlier material, for pop music it was still quite complex. With the addition of Bill Champlin on keyboards and vocals in 1981 the band shifted to being a 2 keyboard band... having a keyboard-centric producer in David Foster only pushed the keyboards more to the front of the mix and relegated the horn players to reading newspapers, twiddling their thumbs, or pretending to play keyboards or guitars in music videos. Luckily for the band, keyboards and synthesizers were the IN thing in the eighties so the shift paid off for the band. The horns were still present on many songs but oddly enough they were absent on some of the band's biggest hits of the eighties-- Hard to Say I'm Sorry, Hard Habit to Break, You're the Inspiration, Will You Still Love Me, and Look Away for the most part lacked horns. In all fairness, You're the Inspiration included multiple changes in key and time signature showing it to be a considerably more complex song than much of the 3/4 or 4/4, 3 chord dime-a-dozen material of that era.

So the past few days I've tried introducing Marillion and The Sons of Champlin to my daughter. In hindsight I realize going from Chicago to the Sons of Champlin is a bit too ambitious. While both bands have horn sections and featured Bill Champlin on vocals and keys. That kind of shift is kind of like teaching her to cook by starting with instruction on boiling water and skipping straight to making a souffle. There need to be a few more steps between 80s pop-rock with horns and psychedelic-tinged blue-eyed soul.

My attempts introducing her to Marillion have been marginally more successful. She's not too keen on Pseudo Silk Kimono (neither am I though) which opens the Misplaced Childhood album but she seems to enjoy Kayleigh and Lavender as both of those songs are considerably more accessible and are at least from the same era as the Chicago and 1927 material that she's come to enjoy over the past couple of months.

I'm thinking the next step is to introduce her to Toto and start dipping her toes into Chicago's 70s catalog with their Hot Streets album (probably their most pop-friendly album of the 70s).

Politicin'

2011-10-29T15:36:00.000-07:00

The muse has had really bad timing lately. She gently flicks my ear to get my attention while I'm at work, she whispers ideas to me while I'm still half asleep in the shower, or sometimes when I'm driving home she tries to forcibly get ideas in my head.... But when I finally sit down to write, she's nowhere to be found. She makes herself scarce and I'm left grasping at the ghosts of the ideas she planted in my head, the apparitions of thoughts that I can barely make out let alone put into words.

But, I'm here now so...

If you're a regular reader you already know my political beliefs fall right of center. I've been following the Occupy Wall Street/Chicago/etc. protests on the news with some level of amusement. I know that the press is doing to them what they were doing to the Tea Party... finding the most asinine and outspoken idiots to use as a representative sample when it's anything but.

The truth is-- and I feel like a broken record here, the further on the fringe people are the more vocal they are. The more vocal they are the more attention gets paid to them. That does not mean they speak for the majority, it does not mean that they have the majority opinion... It just means they're the most vocal at expressing their thoughts and ideas.

We human beans love a good circus and we tend to gravitate towards the freaks when we go to the circus, our media plays into that and contributes heavily to it. The partisan rancor that exists in this country is largely the end product of the media... every story-- even in the news apparently there needs to be a good guy and a bad guy... But reality is really just shades of grey, isn't it?

I still maintain that there are far more of us "in the middle" than on the fringes. Most of us have opinions that are more similar than different. Each of us has our own little leanings a little to the right here, a little to the left there... but we all put our pants on one leg at a time, we breathe the same air, we live under the same sun and moon as everyone else... and maybe just maybe the rancor we have for "the opposition" is misguided.

In politics it's all about divide and conquer... and again the media plays into this. Our politicians are like magicians.. they use deflection to distract us... and to "deflect" they get us to fight amongst ourselves. And when we stop fighting amongst ourselves from time to time we realize they've made our taxpayer dollars disappear... And it's not like pulling a rabbit out of a hat... It's not a matter of our money was there a second ago and suddenly highways or mass transit rail appear where the money once was... the money is GONE... disappeared. However sometimes when the money disappears, in its place you can clearly see tons and tons of red tape.

The other side?

2011-10-28T20:25:00.000-07:00

Last weekend my wife & I had one of our friends over for dinner. He's a close family friend and our daughter's Godfather. A couple hours after putting my daughter to bed, my wife noticed on the baby monitor so she went up to check on her.

When my wife came back down she was a bit unsettled. She told our friend and I that our daughter had been sitting up in the bed, her eyes were open but she wasn't really awake. She reached under her pillow as if to get something and put her hand out to my wife and said, "Here, he wants you to have this." She then stirred and seemingly woke up said, "Love you mommy." gave my wife a hug then laid down and went to sleep. There was nothing in her hand to give my wife but her tone was a bit too self-assured for a 2 year old and thus it kind of spooked her.

When she was still an infant there were times when my wife would be sitting on the couch holding her and she'd be looking at a fixed point on the wall somewhere behind my wife and smiling and giggling ans if there were someone there causing her to smile and giggle-- someone or something that only she could see. I did witness this a few times myself but it never happened when I was holding her only when my wife was.

I've heard that the sixth sense of children tends to be a bit stronger than that of adults. If its not nurtured the children grow out of it and lose it. I don't know if there's any truth to that and I don't even know that anything supernatural is occurring-- it could just be the over-active imaginations of my wife & I, but still we intend to encourage and nurture this on the off-chance there is something more there. So, what's your verdict? supernatural? sleep-talking? or the overactive imagination of a couple of parents? Do any of you have stories of your own to share?

The Time Machine

2011-09-30T20:15:00.000-07:00

I own a time machine. It's small enough to fit in my pocket (although large enough to prompt people to ask me, "Is that a time machine in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?"). The time machine is in the form of a portable hard drive that has tens of thousands of songs on it, many of them have memories attached to them.

Today as I was busy at work wrapping up a project that fell on my lap yesterday afternoon that had a deadline of EOB today, I found myself thrust back to my freshman year of college.

I spent most of my formative early years in the eighties. I watched all of my siblings get married in that decade, not to mention many of my nieces and nephews were also born in that decade. Heck, I'm closer in age to most of them than I am to my own siblings.

I never bought into the whole grunge thing. I mean I appreciated that that kind of music and its lyrics appealed and spoke to many of my peers but it fell rather flat with me. For a little over half of the nineties, I was in denial that the eighties were over. My freshman year of college I had reached such a state of denial that I was referring to the year as nineteen-eighty-sixteen (the denial came on much stronger my second semester than it had been my first semester).

I was a college radio DJ and much of the music I played had been popular in the eighties or it was more recent music of bands who had been far more popular in the eighties than they were in the nineties.

So today when Johnny Hates Jazz's Shattered Dreams started playing it was nineteen-eighty-sixteen all over again. I could see myself dressing in 80s fashion, still listening to the music of that era, and yearning for reruns of Family Ties, The Cosby Show, Growing Pains, ALF, Amazing Stories, Cheers, and even some of the lesser known shows of that era: The Greatest American Hero and Voyagers (the latter of which was my favorite show when I was in first grade... no wonder years later I ended up getting my BA in History).

Today's journey to the past kind of felt like a nested journey, I was taken back to an era when I felt a strong sense of nostalgia for an earlier era. That being said I also felt a twinge of nostalgia for my brief spell in the late seventies, being a toddler watching Deney Terio on Dance Fever (I only have a few memories of my toddlerhood- being a fan of Dance Fever is one of them, and making my sister, Laurie, play her 8-track of Billy Joel's The Stranger whenever I wandered into her bedroom are probably the most vivid).

I don't know where this time machine will take me next, no matter "when" it takes me, it tends to leave a smile on my face.

9/11 - Ten Years Later

2011-09-11T00:01:00.000-07:00

The following is something I wrote on September 12, 2001. It was later printed in The Sandusky Register along with several other reactions to what had happened on 9/11. I'm left wondering today how we've drifted so far. In the wake of 9/11 we were brought together. Considering how polarized we are today, I'm left wondering why? We can't seem to agree on anything as a country any more, and with every day there seems to be an ever-growing "us vs. them" mentality. When did that common thread that pulled us all together on 9/11/01 snap? I share the below with hope that it won't take another tragedy like 9/11 to bring us back together:

An icon of the American lifestyle, a trademark of the NY City skyline GONE-- with it the lives of thousands… and with them the innocence of America. I remained glued to my TV set most of the day. Hoping to wake up, because it couldn’t be real. I had to be dreaming. Nothing so horrible could ever actually happen. As the reality of the situation sunk in, realizing it wasn’t a dream. I needed to escape. I wanted to believe, I hoped that if I left and came back—maybe, just maybe it would undo what had happened.

As I went outside, despite the clear sunny skies, something felt different. A somber tone hung over the air. An unspeakable sadness trapped in everyone’s hearts. I could see it in the eyes of everyone. Even the laughter I’d hear and the smiles I’d see were superficial. People just trying to forget how sad or scared they were, a nervous laughter—an icing on a very bitter cake. We tried, our hearts heavy with grief, with anger, with fear: take your pick. We tried to put on a happy face and pretend it wasn’t real. Despite our best efforts and strongest prayers, it was real.

We went to bed with heavy hearts and a deep mourning grief, for loss of life and loss of innocence. Deep inside we hung on to the hope that the tragedy would somehow be erased by the next morning, hoping the World Trade Center would still be intact on the New York skyline.

Somehow, despite the tragedy, despite the terrorists best efforts, the American spirit was only mildly bruised. Through adversity, we came together as a whole. We listened and consoled those who lost loved ones, we gave blood to help the wounded, and we watched on as our friends around the world joined in and proclaimed that an attack on the United States was an attack on any of them. In the cruel irony of it all, the malice and hatred bred by the terrorists and their actions brought forth an outpouring of togetherness and union, displays of the best of human nature. In tragedy, we’d put our squabbles aside and stood together. In tragedy, we’d remembered what it means to be American. But why does it take a tragedy to make us forget our differences? Why does it take such a horrible chain of events to bring out such an outpouring of love?

-Darrin E. Matteson
September 12, 2001

Adventures in Parenting

2011-08-23T00:01:00.000-07:00

Yesterday afternoon when I got home from work, my daughter came running up to me. Did she say "Hi Daddy!" or "I Love you Daddy!" or "Glad you're home!" or even "Go outside, Daddy?" like she normally does? Nope. She came running up to me gave me a hug and said, "Hi, Nice to meet you, guy." She reminded me (more than a little bit) of Mindy from Animaniacs who always referred to her mother as "Lady" and any man (father, mailman, construction workers, etc.) as "Mr. Man." She does also call my wife & I by our first names (a habit we're trying to break her of).

A few minutes later we were upstairs in her room and she was trying to close one of her dresser drawers. Her dresser is wooden so the drawers are heavy. She struggles a little with them. As she was trying to close the drawer she said, "Oh shit!" My wife & I didn't acknowledge it as it's best not to. Then Sami walked away and I remarked, "At least she used it in the right context."

She started potty-training a little over a week ago. It was all her idea, not ours. Last Monday when my wife was getting her dressed she was insistent that she wanted to wear undies, not a diaper. So my wife decided that since she's asking, she must be ready for it. She's been pretty good about it for the most part. Yesterday she only had one accident... and a major meltdown.

I'm not sure what spawned the meltdown. My wife had gone out to exchange some clothes at JC Penney. Sami wanted to color so I went to the kitchen drawer where we keep her crayons and coloring book and started to take out her crayons and coloring book and she started crying hysterically saying "No color." So I'd start to put them back away and she said, "I WANT TO COLOR DADDY!" So again, I started to take out the coloring book and crayons... Rise & repeat a few times with increasing waterworks and more voluminous protestations. With nothing else working I took Sami upstairs and gave her a bath to calm her down. This was/is a bit of a no-no because the schedule is dinner - bath - stories - bed. We've been particular about this since we started potty-training her. The idea being that she's in her undies before her bath and goes into a diaper for the night after her bath. Because I did the bath before dinner, I put her back in her undies afterwards and then put her in a diaper after dinner. It threw her schedule a little out of whack and the wife person was not entirely pleased with this scenario as she's the one who has to deal with the wee one all day and throwing her evening schedule off could result in a messed up sleep schedule (ie. Sami rising earlier than usual-- as she had yesterday morning... at 5:45 am when I got up-- normally she sleeps until 7:30-8 am ish). Luckily due to her early morning, short nap, and long day yesterday she actually DID sleep through the night last night.

Over the weekend I took Sami with me to Blockbuster so she could pick out a kids movie.... big mistake. She didn't want to be carried, she wanted to walk around on her own and she didn't want to have to hold Daddy's hand. I won't speak for other parents but this was my first time EVER alone out with my daughter in underpants instead of a diaper. Given her age I wouldn't have let her walk around on her own in Blockbuster regardless, but letting her do so in undies while she's still being potty-trained seemed like an especially bad idea. This resulted in a more public meltdown than the one I experienced last night. I'd try to carry her and she'd squirm like crazy. I'd put her down and try to get her to hold my hand and she'd try to pull away and escape. The whole time of course the waterworks were in full force.

So I sped up the process and got the movies and got out. Luckily we made it home in dry undies (yes, both of us).

Last night my wife & I were watching Against the Wall. It's a new series about a female cop who gets a promotion into the Internal Affairs dept. of the Chicago PD. Her brothers and father are all beat cops who aren't at all keen with her career move as they have a very negative opinion of IA. Anyway last night was really playing up the father/daughter relationship and I was getting a bit misty-eyed thinking that some day that will be Sami & I. It's not entirely surprising that I was reacting that way as I can't even listen to songs like Bob Carlisle's Butterfly Kisses ("She'll change her name today, She'll make a promise and I'll give her away, Standing in the brideroom just staring at her, She asks me what I'm thinking, And I said I'm not sure, I just feel like I'm losing my baby blue"), Peter Cetera's One More Story ("I can't believe just how fast you're growing, I'm gonna cry when you're old enough to go and be on your own") Harry Chapin's Tangled Up Puppet ("I'm a tangled up puppet, all tangled up in knots, and the more I see what used to be, the less of you I've got") without getting choked up any more. It just makes me treasure my one on one time with Samantha that much more. I take over the parenting as soon as I get home (to give my wife a bit of a break) and I get up with her and get her breakfast on Saturday & Sunday mornings. It's our routine, it's when we bond and those are my favorite times of the day. And since my wife gets up with her Mondays-Fridays I put her to bed every night, read her stories... That's our routine and she seems to really like it as well. I've watched my nieces and nephews grow up so I know how fast time flies and I know there's nothing I can do to slow it down or stop it so I'm just trying to be present for as much of it as possible. I may not be able to stop her from growing up but at least I have some control over how many shared memories and experiences we have.

I'm still keeping my journal for her. Once every few weeks or months I write a letter to her in a journal. I'm going to give her that journal either on the day she graduates high school the day she graduates college, or the day she gets married (I haven't decided which, yet).

The Adirondacks

2011-07-13T06:57:00.000-07:00

As I prepare to make another pilgrimage out east to visit my family, I find myself reflecting on my ancestry. I grew up in the foothills of the Adirondack Mountains. I also come from a family of outdoorsmen. My maternal grandfather was an avid hunter and fisherman and one of my paternal great great grandfathers (via my paternal grandmother), Darius Merrill, settled and founded the village of Merrill near Chateaugay, NY and ran a resort, The Merrill House. Darius son, Charles, chronicled the life and adventures of his father and family in serial form in The Malone Telegram in the 1930s. My grandmother cut and saved her Uncle's clippings which my parents still have. In 1974 an abridged version of The Old Guide's Story (as the compiler at the time was unable to locate all of the chapters of the story from when it was originally published in serial form) was compiled and published in hardcover book form. A few years ago I was approached by a historian looking to re-publish The Old Guide's Story in its entirety (apparently from my parents clippings and from other sources the new compiler was able to find the whole story). He'd found some of my Internet inquiries of my Merrill ancestors and asked if I had any old photos or documents he could borrow and scan to include in the re-printing. I put him in touch with my parents who actually did/do have photos and documents.

from L to R: Watson (g grandfather), Darius (gg grandfather), Shep, Minnie (standing behind Shep) Sarah Wallbridge Merrill (gg grandmother), & Charles Merrill

While it's probably little surprise that I never knew my great great grandfather, Darius. I also never knew my great grandfather, Watson. My great-grandparents died within months of each other in 1918 (my great-grandmother, Frankie, in May of that year-- Watson in August). The story my grandmother (who was only 15 when her parents died) used to tell was that her father had died of a broken heart after losing the only woman he had ever loved a few months before. After his younger brother, Shep, had sold the Merrill House in 1908. Watson had taken to farming and ended his days as a guide and hotelier.

Watson Merrill

Sadly in more recent research I've learned that my great grandmother, Frankie Davis, lost her own mother when she was only 9 years old. My great great grandmother, Adeline Kent Davis, died in February 1874 at age 29 from what I'm assuming were complications in childbirth. My great grandmother, Frankie, had a younger brother, Ada, who was born on January 27, 1874. Ada died in infancy at 13 days old-- the same day as his mother, Adeline. Adeline's own parents Silas & Naomi (Lewis) Kent were some of the original settlers of Ellenburg, NY.

Frankie & Watson

Switching over to my mother's side of the family. My grandparents bought a home on a decent sized plot of land within the Adirondack State Park prior to starting a family. In the early years of Prohibition my grandfather would make his own hooch (see also "courage lubricant", moonshine, etc.) deep in the woods of their property. He also kept a sugar shack for making Maple syrup from the Maple trees on his property. My grandfather died when I was only about 7. I do remember sitting in his lap as a young boy. I remember every morning for breakfast he'd have eggs & bacon before heading into the woods for the day. But oddly enough what I remember most about him was his smell. He smelled of the great outdoors (in a good way) and I still remember that his chair retained that "great outdoors" fragrance of his years after he passed away. My grandmother used to tell me that she didn't mind him making his hooch in the woods during Prohibition for his own personal consumption. She was however adamantly against him selling his "Adirondack Ale" to others as she didn't feel that it was worth the risk or threat of possible incarceration. My mother was born a couple years after Prohibition ended, her younger sister Marilyn a couple of years after her, and then her youngest sister about 5 years after Marilyn. Sadly Marilyn died of Cancer at age 2 when my mom was only 4 years old. My grandmother taught in a one room schoolhouse in the mountains. In one room she taught children in grades 1-8. After completing 8 years of matriculation in the mountains the students then had to venture into town for their final 4 years at Franklin Academy. By the time I was in school a new high school had been built and the building that had housed the high school had been converted to a Middle School (grades 6-8).

I left that area for college when I was 18. I did move back for a few months here & there in the first few years since then but I left the area for good in March 2000. Since then my return trips have been limited to a few visits. But on those visits I feel that outdoorsman in me start to creep out again. From the moment I breathe in the mountain air and drink in the beautiful scenery it's as if a switch flips. They say you can't go home again, and they're right... But I'd counter that even long after you've moved away "home" stays with you. It may lie dormant much of the time, but it's always "there." And while "home" never fully comes back to me on these visits, enough of it comes to the surface to remind me of how much of me my background is still there and how much of "the 'dacks" is still in my blood.

Parenthood

2011-07-08T00:01:00.000-07:00

Back in early May the writer's group I'm involved with met at Ballydoyle's Irish Pub in downtown Aurora. Somehow the conversation shifted to the topic of parenthood. All of us in attendance are/were married. What I found interesting was that of the 6 of us-- 3 of us had opted to have children and the other 3 had not.

One of the things that came up were people who let their children's lives consume them. We all know people like this. They are our bright, energetic, interesting friends. As soon as they have children, our friends disappear. They cease to exist on their own terms and become extensions of their children.

There's nothing wrong with parents being active in the lives of their children. They should be, but not at the expense of their identity and sense of self. Admittedly some aspects of this conversation made me uncomfortable. From the moment I became an uncle, just shy of 5 years old I knew I wanted to someday be a parent. I've grown up with my nieces and nephews. I babysat some of them, changed a few diapers, fed a few of them... all long before I was ever married, let alone before my own daughter was born.

While I don't want to lose my sense of self and don't believe I have, the moment my daughter was born all of the other aspects of what make me who I am faded into the background a bit. That moment I'd been waiting for since I'd become an uncle for the first time all those years before was there and it exceded all of my wildest expectations.

I've attempted writing about parenthood in the past, I'm generally reluctant to do so though. It's not that I don't like discussing that aspect of who I am it's more that I feel no matter how hard I try no words can do justice to what I feel and what I'm trying to describe. It's almost ironic-- the one facet of my personality I feel is most important is the one that often leaves me at a loss for words.

I also tend to consider myself a somewhat private person. Yes I do share a considerable amount of information, opinions, tastes and what not-- but I inevitably have control over what I do and don't share and I know that I rarely break down that wall when I write. There's a distance that I try to keep between myself and what I write whether it's on here, in my short stories, or in any of my other writing. I sometimes wonder if the barriers, the degrees of seperation between myself and my writing keep my writing from being as good as it might otherwise be. On a larger scale I wonder if those degrees of seperation keep me from being as good a "me" as I can be as I've come to realize I don't keep those barriers up merely in my writing I keep them up in my life.

If asked why, I guess I do this because I believe we all have to keep a piece of us that is ours and ours alone it's that piece of us that keeps us from completely losing that sense of self. Is it right or realistic to believe that the moment I open up that last bit of myself-- putting EVERYTHING on the table that I run the risk of someday losing that sense of self, that which makes me a unique individual? Is it selfish to keep a small piece of my identity to myself?

"Woodswoman" Anne LaBastille has died

2011-07-06T00:01:00.000-07:00

Several years ago when I flew home to my parents in NY state for Christmas I was looking over some of my grandmother's old books. She had passed away the previous year. One of the books jumped out at me, Woodswoman by Anne LaBastille. While I wouldn't consider myself an environmentalist-- even within the loosest definition of the word-- there was something about the book that really spoke to me. It might have been her self-imposed isolation. Or perhaps it was that she was an Adirondack guide just as my great grandfather-- Watson Merrill, his brother Charles, and their father before them-- Darius had all been. And on my mom's side-- my grandparents had lived within the wilderness of the Adirondack Park and my mother and her younger 2 sisters had been born there (not to mention I was born at a hospital located within the boundaries of the park as well). At any rate Ms. LaBastille helped me better understand and appreciate my recent ancestors and their ties to and love of the beautiful Adirondack Mountains.

So I read Woodswoman and a few years later I even got around to reading the sequels (II, III, & IIII. Shouldn't that have been "IV"- I digress). I was sad to learn, shortly after completing the series that Ms. LaBastille had been forced to forfeit her lifestyle with the onset of Alzheimer's. And today when reading the online edition of The Plattsburgh Press-Republican I learned that Ms. LaBastille had succumbed at age 75.

I was a bit annoyed by the write-up as it described a Woodswoman as being a "fictionalized account" of Ms. LaBastille's life @ "Black Bear Lake." The only thing she "fictionalized" was the name of the lake that her camp was on and that was only done to preserve and protect the location of her camp and prevent unwanted visitors and/or interlopers. She valued her privacy and that's something I understand and respect. Ms. LaBastille will be missed and I only hope that her camp has ended up in kind and capable hands that will value and treasure the camp and Ms. LaBastille's contributions to the Adirondack Park with the respect they truly deserve.

The American Dream for consumers creating the American Nightmare for employees

2011-05-27T00:01:00.000-07:00

A common misconception that exists in this country is that we're entitled to the "American Dream." While there is some variance from person to person what that dream entails-- for most it does entail at least a basic level of comfort with one's circumstances, for some it's a bit more posh (fancy cars, decent sized McMansion, a collection of bling worth greater than the GDP of several small countries combined, etc.). We aren't entitled to the dream though. What we are entitled to is the access to that dream. The access to succeed or fail by our own hard-work, intuition, gumption, toil... or in the case of failure-- the lack thereof.

I've heard an argument that states the economic collapse was driven by corporate America being too greedy. And I can't deny there's some truth to that. The trouble is "corporate America" is just a very convenient scapegoat. Corporate America is driven by the profit motive and who drives profits? The consumers. While corporate America is one of the dominos responsible for toppling the economy, it's not the original and direct cause... Consumer America is the driver of the economy.

Businesses are supposed to make money that's their goal. In order to make money they have to keep the consumers happy with the product or service they offer and in order to do that they have to keep costs low and still provide at least a moderate level of customer service. With the ever escalating rise of salaries, keeping costs low is becoming increasingly more difficult for companies and the easiest way for them to do so is to reduce payroll and the easiest way to reduce payroll with the least negative impact on productivity and profitability is globalization.

Let's say a company wants to do right by its employees so it adjusts its costs to allow for it to maintain its domestic workforce. As time passes that company's competitors move overseas to keep their costs low. The consumer in the store looking at 2 products from 2 different companies isn't looking at the "Made in the USA" vs. the "Made in India/Tawaiian/China/etc." label the consumer is looking at the price tag. That price tag will drive the consumer to purchase the foreign made product. In trying to keep their employees happy the company starts to lose its profitability. With its prices being undercut by competitors who have opted for a more affordable workforce somewhere in SE Asia, the company's sales plummet and they're forced to increasingly lay off more and more of their work force until they eventually go out of business.

This ends up limiting the access to the American Dream. Was it the fault of corporate America or consumer America that led to this limited access to that dream?

Where the fault DOES lie on corporate America-- through much of the 20th century several American companies were run by a conceit that Americans would buy their products first regardless of quality because those products were American made. As the quality of goods from overseas improved the quality of American goods stagnated largely due to this nationalistic corporate conceit. This was driven largely by the big 3 American auto manufacturers but it certainly wasn't limited to them.

As consumers we want the biggest bang for our buck-- the best quality at the lowest price. As we've shifted from a largely single-income household culture to more of a dual-income/dual breadwinner culture our perception of needs and wants have also changed accordingly. Things that would have been considered luxuries by previous generations are today considered to be more necessities today. With that shift has also come a shift in our expectations for what we believe we are entitled to as individuals and as a culture.

Our government, in its attempt to improve our access to the American Dream has taken the somewhat misguided tack of not trying to merely improve our access to that dream but to reduce the work we have to do to attain that dream. Unfortunately, we have a government that is unable to look past the next election cycle that is driven by an electorate with an ever-shrinking attention span that wants instant gratification. As such, as consumers we've been mortgaging our future for our present.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not pointing fingers at individual consumers. Nor am I placing blame. This is the nature of the beast. It's human nature. We want bigger, better, faster, more and we want it for less! This "need" has forced many of our employers to look overseas to give us what we want as consumers. So in addition to mortgaging our future for our present. We've been mortgaging our need for more income/benefits (as employees) with our employers ability to deliver us the bigger, better, faster, and more we crave so deeply as consumers.

Dual Citizenship

2011-05-20T11:49:00.000-07:00

Over the past few years since I met and married a British lass the subject of dual citizenship has come up several times. Speaking with several other ex-pats over those years it seems that there's a lot of misunderstanding regarding the concept of dual citizenship. It was to the extent that my wife was reluctant to become a US citizen because she thought it meant she'd have to relinquish or forfeit her British citizenship.

After years of hearing conflicting stories I decided to do some research on the subject. What I learned is that the US has no problem with dual citizenship provided you were already a citizen of another country when you became a US citizen. Where the US government DOES take issue with dual citizenship is if you're born an American citizen and decide you'd like to become a citizen of another country. Our government may ask you to relinquish/forfeit your US Citizenship upon becoming a citizen of your new country. Basically my wife can become a dual citizen but if I wanted to become a citizen of another country I might or might not have to forfeit my US citizenship to do so (I'm guessing this is somewhat contingent on what country I'd want to become a citizen of).

The root of it is, as far as the US government is concerned if you become a naturalized citizen it's your origin nation that determines whether or not you can retain your citizenship in that country-- not your adopted one, the United States. Provided the UK government takes no issue with it, my wife can become a dual citizen. For that matter my wife may already have dual-citizenship via maternal descendancy as her mother is a Kiwi.

Upon further research I learned that my daughter already is a dual citizen by virtue of having a British mother and an American father (not to mention being born in the United States). There are no special fees or hoops to jump through for her to be considered a British citizen. She can apply for a UK and/or a US passport (although I've read the US government requests that dual citizens residing in the US use a US passport upon exiting and re-entering the country-- so even if we did get her a British passport she'd also need a US Passport).

The TRUE story behind the Osama Bin Laden killing...

2011-05-06T00:01:00.000-07:00

Since the story coming from the press seems to change by the second. First he was armed and using one of his wives as a human shield, then he was unarmed and the Navy SEALS were rushed by his youngest wife whom they shot in the hip, but no here's what really happened...

A 1963 VW Beetle pulls up outside the compound. 10 Navy SEALS emerge from the Bug dressed as circus clowns. One of them launches a RPCP (Rocket Propelled Cream Pie) at bin Laden but misses. One of the other SEALS/clowns manages to get within point blank range of bin Laden and takes him out with his squirting flower directly to the eyes. Osama clutches his eyes staggering around slips on a banana peel carooms off the end of a balcony and SPLAT!

A fellow dressed as Porky Pig shows up takes a few photos for proof before saying "That's all folks!"

In all seriousness, I mean no disrespect to the intelligence agents who were able to locate him nor the Navy SEALS who were inevitably able to take him out. I'm more fed up with the way the story has been (mis)handled by the Obama Administration and/or the press. While I believe most of the blame for how the story has been mis-handled is the fault of the press. Some fault does fall on the White House for not doing a better job of controlling the message and making sure the message given to the media was a consistent one.

Don't get me wrong, Obama deserves tremendous accolades for bringing down Obama. I may disagree with many of his political views but I have nothing but the utmost respect for how he handled the assassination of bin Laden. It was a job well done.

Where he's dropping the ball is on the PR side of things. On Sunday night the regularly scheduled programming was cut into at about 10:45 ET indicating that bin Laden had been killed and the president was going to address the nation. For over 45 minutes the American public was fed information indicating bin Laden had been killed, that he'd fired upon Navy SEALS and had been killed when they returned fire. Various people from the Bush & Clinton Administrations and the intelligence community were interviewed for their reactions. Then we were told that he used one of his wives as a human shield before he was taken out. The next day the story started to change. To borrow a term from comic book parlance, the original story was "retconned" by the media by Monday morning with no acknowledgement from them that their story from the previous evening had changed. In the new version, bin Laden was unarmed and his youngest wife had been shot in the hip when she rushed one of the Navy SEALS unarmed in an attempt to save her husband.

I realize that in the age of 24 hour news and each news agency doing their damnedest to scoop their competition ("Facts be damned! It's all about being first! We can always print a retraction later.") "sitting on" the information a little longer before announcing it to the press (thus less air time of media speculation and reaction interviews with intelligence officials) might or might not have been a feasible option. I can also understand where Obama and the others in the room who watched the events as they happened would have been excited that we finally got bin Laden and would have wanted to share that news with the world posthaste! But a few ounces of caution and planning would have gone a long way in the delivery of the information as accurately as possible the first time and would likely have reduced if not completely eliminated the various alternate versions of the story that the news media started delivering to the public.

I do have to reiterate that most of the blame for the bungling of this story lands on the lap of the US media and not within the White House. The White House only failed in their control of the delivery of the message to the media. However, in so failing it allowed and led to the media running wild with both information and misinformation as our media has shown themselves to be increasingly more prone to do.

Obama releases long form birth certificate

2011-04-27T17:13:00.000-07:00

In case you want to see it for yourself:

Obama's Long Form Birth Certificate

I've got to give the president credit... well played, very well played indeed. And letting Trump take credit for getting him to release it is even more brilliant. I'm not being sarcastic here.

To My Fellow Conservatives,

If you didn't believe that Obama was a US citizen he has for several years now and continues to play you for the fools you are. His release of his birth certificate following Donald Trump's request was a brilliantly orchestrated political maneuver.

Yes this makes Donald Trump look good. He was able to do what no conservative pundit and no other GOP potential candidate was able to-- he got President Obama to release his long-form birth certificate. I bet he looks really good to you about right now. THAT is just what the President wants.

You may also have noticed that he's been praising Mitt Romney's "Romneycare" in Massachusetts. I bet many of you aren't too keen on Mitt these days. Some of you may find him to be a bit too moderate for your tastes. Again this is exactly what the President wants.

Now is the time for you to either remove your tin-foil chapeau or to steal away to your toolshed for a DIY rectal craniotomy. The president has just given the GOP two gifts! He's telegraphed 2 punches-- Who he DOES want to face in 2012 (Donald Trump) and who he doesn't (Mitt Romney).

Elections are won not by the conservative or liberal bases. Elections are won by moderate independent swing voters. Chances are you'll be voting for whomever the GOP nominates. And I'm guessing most of the folks over at Moveon.org will be either voting for Obama's re-election or whomever runs on the Green Party's ticket. We aren't the people the candidates are attempting to sway. As far as they're concerned our minds are made up. Obama and the eventual GOP nominee (whomever he/she may be) will be courting undecided voters.

Donald Trump is unelectable. Most of the moderates and independents do not take him at all seriously. If he were to win the GOP nomination we would essentially be giving Obama another 4 years in office wrapped up with a nice bow that resembles the Donald's hairstyle.

Mitt Romney IS however electable. Yes, I know he's a moderate. After all he was governor of that Liberal New England theme park known as Kennedyland (or more commonly referred to as the Commonwealth of Massachusetts). Massachusetts does not elect conservatives. In order for a republican to be elected governor there he/she would have to be at least a moderate if not a liberal republican. I know that some of Romney's moderate views don't necessarily jive with all of your political beliefs. But do we want to nominate someone whose views may be closer to ours but could not/would not win in the general election (the Donald) or do we nominate someone who actually has some chance of defeating Obama in the general election (Romney)?

Another thing to keep in mind-- even if you agree more with Trump's politics than Romney's. Donald Trump is a notorious self-promoter. If he does end up running for President it won't be for the betterment of the country, it will be for his own self-promotion. Is he really the kind of man you would want running our country?

Just some food for thought!

Your fellow conservative,
Perplexio

Nixon, Agnew, Connally, Ford & Watergate

2011-04-15T00:01:00.000-07:00

A few years ago I read Jules Witcover's Very Strange Bedfellows: The Short and Unhappy Marriage of Richard Nixon & Spiro Agnew. The book was quite an intriguing read as it portrayed both Nixon and Agnew in a much more sympathetic light than the press ever had. It didn't excuse them their transgressions but it did provide some insight into why they did the things they did.

I was born just a few weeks before the 1976 election in the waning months of Gerald Ford's presidency so I missed the Watergate scandal. Witcover's book took me back to 1968 when Nixon chose Agnew as his VP and made me feel as if I'd actually been there and witnessed the political events of 1968-1974 firsthand.

Some interesting points that Witcover made:

Nixon regretted choosing Agnew as his running mate early into his presidency. As such Agnew was largely kept out of the loop. When Agnew wanted to meet with Nixon he often ended up having to settle for meeting with Haldemen and/or Ehrlichmann instead. Agnew knew nothing of the Watergate break-in until the Woodward & Bernstein story broke. He found out about it at the same time as the rest of the country.
Nixon wanted to drop Agnew from the ticket in 1972 and replace him with former Texas governor (and Democrat) John Connally on a cross-party ticket (the same John Connally who was injured in the Kennedy Assassination). Incidentally Connally later switched parties and ran for president as a Republican in 1980 but was largely considered an "also-ran" candidate whose numbers didn't come close to Reagan or George H.W. Bush.
While Agnew knew he was being investigated for income tax evasion he felt he was innocent and that he would beat the charges. Initially he was concerned and approached Nixon asking if the Watergate break-in was anything he should have to worry about. Nixon reassured him that he shouldn't concern himself with it and that everything was under control.
Agnew wanted to fight the charges against him, he was willing to be impeached because he felt he'd be cleared in the impeachment hearings.
Nixon wanted to resign long before he inevitably did. The Watergate Scandal weighed heavily on him and he just wanted to put the whole mess behind him and get on with his life. The trouble was Agnew was still the VP and Nixon felt the charges against him would bring him down. He felt the last thing this country needed was 2 consecutive presidents brought down by scandal-- him resigning and Agnew likely being removed from office via impeachment. Nixon only stuck around as long as he did to ensure that Agnew would not be the next president.
Nixon pressured Agnew to resign. At first Agnew was adamantly against the idea. He smelled blood and felt the Watergate Scandal would bring down Nixon making him the next president. As the evidence against Agnew snowballed, Nixon was eventually able to convince Agnew to resign. After Agnew's resignation the 2 men never spoke again. Agnew finally forgave Nixon and attended his funeral in 1993. As a sign of goodwill, Nixon's daughters in turn attended Agnew's funeral in 1996.
Nixon's first choice to replace Agnew was John Connally. He knew at that point he would be resigning and that Connally would inevitably be the next president. However Connally had made a lot of enemies in his own party when he led a group called "Democrats for Nixon" in 1972. Nixon adviser Alexander Haig advised him against appointing Connally as he felt that the senate confirmation hearings would be a long drawn out and largely controversial affair and that Congress would likely nix the appointment forcing Nixon to appoint someone else and having to go through the whole process all over again. Nixon wanted out and wanted out bad. Haig recommended the far less controversial Gerald Ford with the idea the confirmation hearings would be a mere formality and that he'd be approved without much fuss.

Being a student of (not to mention having a degree in) history and also being a fan of speculative fiction I do sometimes ponder the "what ifs." What if Nixon had been brought down before Agnew had resigned? What if Nixon had replaced Agnew on the ticket with John Connally in '72? Would he have resigned sooner knowing his replacement was someone he actually liked as opposed to someone he viewed as a very regrettable mistake? With Connally in line to take over, would Nixon have resigned soon enough to prevent his legacy from being tarnished as much as it was? While Connally would likely have pardoned Nixon just as Ford did-- would the political fall-out from a pardon have been as bad if Nixon had resigned before his involvement in Watergate had been uncovered? Let's look at this another way:

Nixon replaces Agnew on the '72 ticket with John Connally. Because the ticket is bipartisan Nixon wins in a landslide (He defeated McGovern in a landslide anyway, but imagine how much more of a landslide it would have been with a cross-party ticket?) CREEP is never formed, the Watergate break-in never occurs.

OR

Connally replaces Agnew on the ticket in '72. The Watergate break-in still occurs. Connally is kept out of the loop (for very different reasons than Agnew was) and he finds out about it at the same time as the rest of the country. Nixon resigns immediately saying something to the effect of "While I did not order the break-in, I was aware of it and I let it happen. As president, that is unexcusable. As such I will be resigning effective noon tomorrow at which point Vice President Connally will be sworn in." I don't know a lot about John Connally-- at least not as far as his personality is concerned. Would he have felt betrayed that Nixon kept him out of the loop? Would he have felt relieved that in being kept out of the loop his reputation would have remained unsullied by the political fall-out associated witht he break-in? If he had felt betrayed would he have pardoned Nixon the way Ford did or would he have let Nixon go on trial for his misdeeds? Would the justice department even have pursued a trial if Nixon had resigned immediately or would they have considered his resignation from office in disgrace to be punishment enough and dropped the charges against him?

And here's another curveball-- If Gerry Ford had not pardoned Nixon would he have been elected in 1976 or would he still have lost to Carter? Or if he'd pardoned Nixon but done so sooner would it have cost him the GOP nomination and put Ronald Reagan on the ticket in his place?

There is a part of me that wishes I had been around for the spectacle of the Agnew vice presidency. William Safire & Pat Buchanan wrote some brilliant speeches for Agnew. All politics aside getting Agnew riled up and referring to the press as "nattering nabobs of negativity" would have been quite an amusing departure from otherwise dry political speeches. And from what I've read Agnew was a considerably more adept public speaker than many of the subsequent vice presidents we've had. I don't know how well or poorly he might have ended up executing the office of the presidency had a different turn of events landed him in the Oval Office.

I think the closest we've come in recent history to an Agnewesque political figure is Rod Blagojevich. Luckily, for our country (but unfortunately for Illinois) he was brought down before he was elevated to any political office at the federal level.

The Federal Budget: Beyond the rhetoric...

2011-04-14T00:01:00.000-07:00

Let's scrape away all the hyperbole and rhetoric.

Our government was set up, at least initially, that Congress would only be in session for a few months each year. Our elected officials would return home to private sector jobs working in their communities and rubbing elbows with their constituents. This gave the American people much greater access to those they elected it also made our elected officials a bit more human to their constituents.

As the roles and responsibilities of government have grown and changed our elected officials have had to spend increasingly more time away from their communities and more time in Washington to the point where we are today with many of our elected officials becoming career politicians with limited exposure to the results and effects of the policies they draft into law.

For several generations the powers that be, those we elect-- the one's that are supposed to be (by JFK's definition at least) our "best and brightest" have been spending more than they've been taking in and passing the financial burden of their financial excesses on to the following generation(s). This isn't a Democrat or Republican thing as there have been elected officials from both parties who have been egregious in this offense. In the words of the late great singer/songwriter Kevin Gilbert "We're the clean-up crew for parties we were too young to attend."

I'm not going to quibble over whether the government had any right to increase its role in our lives or whether that increased role in our lives has been for better or for worse... that's another discussion for another time.

However, the more responsibilities the government takes on, the more expensive it becomes to run and if the government is spending more money than it's taking in something has to give. The budget debate, at its core, isn't about whether certain government programs are good or bad. That is corollary to the discussion. The debate, a rather rancorous one at that, is about the financial sustainability of the programs the government is currently running and is responsible for.

Our government has been operating at a loss for decades now, spending far more money than they take in. In order to balance our budget we have to decrease spending, increase revenue (via taxation), or some combination of both. Considering we're still in a recession (although some would argue we're coming out of that recession) raising taxes is rather unpalatable to most Americans right now. When you take into consideration Congress's financial history-- when taxes have gone up so has spending. So the net increase in revenues disappeared and our government continues to chase its tail on the budget balance sheet... at least until they throw the budget stick and tell the next generation to "go fetch."

History shows that the concept of "fiscal restraint" is completely foreign to the US Congress. And I'd argue that most moderate Americans aren't so much against taxes because they're against many of the government programs in existence today (although, I believe that is the case for many of them). They want the government to prove they can be responsible with the money we give them in taxes before we will agree to give them more of our money. In other words-- "Show us you can cut spending before asking us for any more of our money."

Another proposition for increasing revenue is a simplification of the tax code and an elimination of loopholes and deductions that many wealthy American individuals and corporations use to either reduce the amount of taxes they have to pay or to avoid having to pay any taxes at all. This would essentially be a massive tax hike limited to those who have been skirting and taking advantage of the complexities of the existing tax code for their benefit. In lessesning their exposure to taxes these people have increased the tax burden for the rest of us. Those of us who have been paying our taxes all along would see no difference in our taxes.

Either way, spending has to be cut and many of those cuts will be difficult.

Admittedly I'm no wizard of finance but here are some ideas for getting our financial house in order:

a) Re-establish the Social Security account and move all money that's supposed to go into Social Security into that account and all money that should be going into Social Security going forward should also go into that account. This should be an account that Congress should have absolutely no access to. Currently, when you look at your paycheck and see separate deductions for federal income tax and Social Security-- all of that money is going into the "general fund" which Congress uses to fund its programs. Congress has been borrowing much more from Social Security than they've been paying back into it. We can FIX Social Security by eliminating Congress's ability to access that money.

b) Any changes to Medicare should be grandfathered in. Anyone who currently benefits from Medicare as it exists today should continue to benefit from it. Medicare was set up to take care of these people that are currently benefitting from it and they paid into it with the expectation of receiving care upon reaching the age of eligibility. Those who don't yet/don't currently benefit from Medicare-- changes need to be made. The way it is currently set up is unsustainable not to mention it increases health care and insurance costs for the rest of us. Medicare currently pays pennies on the dollar that money has to be made up somewhere and the health care industry makes it up with the rest of us who have private health insurance coverage. This results in doctors ordering tests/procedures that might not actually be necessary in order to collect more insurance revenue. Private health insurance has to pay more to off-set what Medicare doesn't pay and thus increases the premiums for those of us who pay into private health insurance policies. Given our government's inability to pay doctors in full, a privatization of Medicare might be our only legitimate course of action. By increasing competition in the private sector prices could be driven down and with doctors getting paid in full by a combination of insurnace and patient co-pays/deductibles/etc. the rate at which the cost or private health insurance premiums increase would be slowed substantially.

c) Term limits. Washington exists in a vaccuum of sorts and the longer a person serves in Congress the more our elected representatives lose touch with the economic realities of our country. Over time our elected officials become increasingly more out of touch with those who elected them. If the 2006, 2008, and 2010 Congressional elections are any indication, we might not need actual term limits as the American people have come to realize the value of "fresh blood" and "new ideas" in Congress and many career politicians saw their political careers come to rather abrupt ends in each of those election cycles. Those who serve us who are most recently from non-political fields are generally more in touch with the realities of their constituencies as they were most recently part of the very constituencies that elected them.

d) We need to wake up and realize that there are those in positions of power-- whether they be elected officials, pundits, newsmakers, pundits who are out to serve their own interests and agendas. The easiest means to that end is to "divide and conquer." Much of the division and rancor in this country is the result of the villification of the opposition. I'd argue that most of us despite our political leanings in opposite directions from one another have more political common ground than those pundits, elected officials, and newsmakers would like us to believe. Getting us to fight amongst oursevles gives them power and keeps them in positions of power. If we stopped long enough to realize what these people-- on both sides of the political spectrum re doing to us as a country... those people would be in for a good old fashioned tar and feathering. In the end we all want what is best for this country-- we just have different ideas of what actually IS best for the country and by what means to accomplish that end.

Ginger 1998-2011

2011-03-08T20:22:00.000-08:00

When I was a little boy, my grandparents had a Beagle. Her name was Ginger. Sadly, one day Ginger ran away and was never seen or heard from again. My grandparents lived in the Adirondack State Park with plenty of wild terrain in which to get lost. My grandmother maintained that she did see Ginger once in the back of a truck at a gas station. My grandfather dismissed her claims that the Beagle was Ginger and he may or may not have been right. Given their location, there were several possible explanations for why Ginger never returned.

A few years after Ginger's disappearance my grandfather passed away and my grandmother moved in with my parents and I. We did get an Airedale puppy when I was about ten or eleven but it turned out I was allergic to her so she was given away to a cousin.

Fast forward to 1998... My siblings and I pooled our resources and gave my grandmother a Beagle puppy for her 90th birthday. After my grandmother's passing in 2001, my parents kept Ginger as their own.

When they went to Florida for their winters, Ginger stayed with either my aunt or my brother and was picked up upon their return. This past November due to my brother getting a new puppy last spring that Ginger didn't get along with, my parents left Ginger with a nice lady who took her in as one of her own.

This past weekend my parents received the sad news that Ginger passed away. When my dad gave me the news on Monday night, it hit me harder than I thought it would. I was in college when Ginger entered my grandmother's life and while I did return home briefly after college my contact with her was limited. Perhaps it hit me so hard because she had been my grandmother's dog and had been a living connection to her.

It won't be the same visiting my parents and not hearing her claws gently tapping against the kitchen floor, howling to be let out, and still be a playful pup at heart even as her energy to do so dwindled with age.

Ginger with my daughter, Sami, summer 2010

Train wreck but will there be any survivors?

2011-03-04T00:01:00.000-08:00

It's been suggested that there's a general lack of sympathy for the women that Charlie Sheen leaves in his wake, that they're viewed as "disposable women" or gold-diggers, etc. because of their backgrounds or professions.

There is truth there. I believe the public that has been so enraptured by the circus of Charlie Sheen's life does show a general lack of sympathy for the women that Charlie Sheen has "used" and "discarded." And evidence would indicate he certainly views those women as "disposable."

I do believe that many people likely do view the women as "disposable." Where I part ways with the above logic, I don't believe for a second that the women in Mr. Sheen's life are viewed the way they are because of their backgrounds... Of course the women in his life have those backgrounds-- those are the kind of women he goes out of his way to attract.

I believe these women are viewed as disposable not because they're struggling actresses who appear to have latched on to a "bigger star" to help propel their own careers or porn stars, or anything of the like... These women are being viewed as disposable because they got involved with Charlie Sheen. I believe the public would be just as unsympathetic to them if they were college professors, rocket scientists, or corporate executives.

Given Charlie Sheen's history as an actor-- his reputation with the ladies is not new and his reputation is also well known. That is to say any woman who chooses to get involved with him in the first place-- there's a bit of caveat emptor. If you don't want to be burned, keep yourself out of the bonfire! The lack of sympathy for these women is rooted in their not only avoiding the bonfire that lays waste to most of the women he has involved himself with but running into it headlong and staying in it long after they discover that "Hey, this fire's pretty hot! Why is my skin bubbling?!"

I guess what it comes down to-- people tend to understand their own genders better than the opposite gender. This is a phenomenon that happens with both genders:

To any guys who are reading this how many of you have either ignored the warnings of your moms, sisters, female cousins, and/or friends and ended up getting burned by a girl/woman you were warned about by at least one of the women in your life or know of someone who has?

And ladies, how many of you have ever been hurt by a guy whom your father, brother, grandfather, or some other male friend or relative has warned you about or know of someone who has?

What sets Charlie Sheen a bit a part in this regard is that not only do us guys realize the type of guy he is... I'd argue most women do too... and I'd even go so far as to argue many of the women who might otherwise be duped by his charms were he not so well known understand what type of guy he is!

"But I can change him!"

Ladies-- he's what? 48? You can't teach an old dog, new tricks. Your chance passed long ago. You didn't get to him soon enough. That window closed decades ago.

In the end I understand the media spectacle that is Sheen's life right now. I understand the public fascination with it. But I'm sick of the gaper delays already. C'mon people, move along there's really nothing more to see here!

Fashion Plate laced with Salmonella (or Marriage, Maturity & Fashion Pt. II)

2011-02-26T14:08:00.000-08:00

I've noticed a change as I've grown older. I'm not sure if I wear my clothes "harder" than I used to or that it's a vast conspiracy of clothing manufacturers to make clothes of declining quality to ensure that we, the consumers, will need to replace them much more frequently.

Maybe age has clouded my perspective, but I seem to recall my clothes lasting longer than they do now. Jeans that I could get 2 or 3 years out of before they'd need replacement due to holes wearing in the knees, I now consider myself lucky if I manage 8 to 10 months on a pair before I need to replace them.

So today I made my semi-regular Jeans pilgrimage to the nearest mall. By the time I got to JC Penney it appeared they'd been picked clean of jeans in my size. It might have been that my family & I were merely late to the DoorBuster sale and most of the jeans in my size had been picked clean or it may be that 32 x 32 jeans are a bit less common than I thought.

As I was looking through the piles and piles of jeans in various sizes I tried to picture the type of men who would be wearing them: the 36 x 29 -- the slight but loud extrovert with the Napoleon complex that makes himself the life of the party all the time (whether or not there actually is a party to be the life of). Or the reverse, the Stan Laurel to our Napoleon's Oliver Hardy, the 29 x 36, a thin wiry Michael Richards meets Lyle Lovett looking gent with a similar hairdo to both of them.

I kept looking and while I did find some in my size they were not in a style that I would be caught dead in or they were in a style I liked, but it was a style that would lead to my death were my wife to catch me wearing them. Either way, I felt my life was too steep a price to pay for them so I continued looking. I found a pair of boot cut jeans that I liked and my wife found a pair she wanted me to try on.

I took my leave to the fitting room, my daughter calling out to me as I was trying on the jeans. The pair I found, fit well and looked satisfactory on me-- as satisfactory as jeans purchased at JC Penney could be expected to look. Then I tried on the pair my wife had found. They were 32 x 32 and I noticed they were labelled as "Skinny Jeans." I'd never tried a pair of these on before, let alone owned a pair. As I inched them up my legs I wondered if my wife had forgotten to give me the jar of Crisco that would have allowed me to slide the jeans on with much greater ease. I thought to myself, "32 x 32, my ass!" I threw in the towel and pulled the jeans back off before they were even all the way on. In addition to being entirely too tight to be comfortable, they made my legs look like a pair of dainty little twigs-- a look I was most certainly NOT going for. If the muted laughter through of the studio audience on the other side of the 2 way mirror didn't tip me off, my wife's giggling upon my emergence from the fitting room certainly did. She had never expected me to seriously consider the skinny jeans, she just wanted the good laugh that would result from seeing me in them.

Traditionally, I try clothes on and wear them out of the fitting room to get the thumbs up or thumbs down from my wife. If the thumb is pointed down, I'm dispatched back into the fitting room where I'm met by a Siberian Tiger that has not eaten in 3 weeks. If the thumb is pointed up the Tiger is on the other side of a glass partition happily eating the total combined contents of all the food from all the restaurants in the mall's food court. This allows me to put my regular clothes back on without incident.

My wife was somewhat dismayed when I came out of the fitting room without having modeled any of the clothes for her. I had somewhat foiled her little fashion joke but as I provided the details of the ordeal the skinny jeans had presented me I did get some giggles out of her and my daughter looked up at me from her stroller giggling and smiling as if she'd been in on the joke with my wife.

I also tried on a few swimsuits. I had just purchased a new one last year and somehow it magically disappeared (likely to the same abyss where the mates to all my mismatched socks end up) on a trip out east to visit my family last summer. This was rather tricky considering I had only worn the swimsuit once that whole week and it had been one of my first days there.

So, on my quest for a new swimsuit I settled on trying 3 different pairs. An orange and white floral print, a blue/black/white floral print, and a plaid pair in light pastel colors. The orange didn't work for me and the plaid pair gave me flashbacks to my days of "Florida Practice." As I looked in the mirror I had the sudden urge to sign up for AARP membership and to request the senior discount on my purchase (but of course that discount only applies if I also get the matching polo shirt, knee socks and sandals that pull the whole outfit together). It was a look that I could tell would work for me.... in about 30-40 years. I needed a look that worked for me now, so I settled on the black/blue/white floral print board shorts.

As we were leaving the store my wife & I were both commenting that the quality of clothes sold at that particular establishment seems to have deteriorated over the last several years... either that or we'd become a bit more discerning in our taste than we had been in our youth.

Marriage, Maturity, and Fashion (Or How Marriage Saves Men from Themselves)

2011-02-24T00:01:00.000-08:00

I once saw a quiz asking about fashion sense. One of the choices was, "fashion follows me." But I dare say, Fashion ran away from me screaming or perhaps it had cowered under its covers and was trembling in terror at the mere thought of me.

My wife & I were watching Modern Family this past Wednesday night. There was a scene where Phil Dunphy (played by Ty Burrell) shows his wife, Claire (played by Julie Bowen) some embarrassing photos of his youth-- prior to meeting her and thanks her for saving him from himself.

The scene made me laugh, largely because of all the characters in any sitcoms I've ever seen, I can relate to Phil Dunphy better than any of them (my wife has said Phil Dunphy scares her because of how much he reminds her of me). The scene also made me recall a similar sentiment expressed by John Birmingham and Dirk Flinthart in their humorous yet useful tome, How To Be a Man.

In fact, there's a theory that suggests that were it not for marriage most men would front up at the office in some variation of cum-stained, thread-worn tracky dacks* and an 'I'm with Stupid' T-shirt. -- How To Be a Man (Birmingham, Flinthart, p. 7)

One of my coworkers once suggested it might not be the best idea to let others know that I actually own such a book... on purpose (that is to say as opposed to receiving it as a gift or purchasing it ironically). I'd counter that, unfortunately, in my generation there is a segment of our demographic that may be men biologically but maturity wise many are of my peers are in a prolonged adolescence.

Truth be told, I extended my own adolescence into my mid-twenties. But, in all fairness, I was a bit of a late bloomer and didn't really start to sow my wild oats until college. So extending my adolescence into my mid-twenties, while not necessarily excusable, I would argue is somewhat understandable. At the time I purchased the book I was still in my early to mid-twenties. I'd highlighted the passages I had found to be either useful, humorous, or both. The chapters on fashion and cooking/nutrition are actually quite interesting and informative but I doubt I'll ever need to put to use the knowledge of how to properly land a Jumbo Jet or execute a bootlegger turn (although stranger things have happened... knowing my luck I might someday have to execute a bootlegger turn with a Jumbo Jet).

At the time I purchased the book I was involved in what I consider to have been my final "adolescent" relationship. That is to say, I was seriously involved with a girl, but we were in that tricky and awkard stage of life where we hadn't quite shaken off the vestiges of our youth nor had we fully become acclimated to our relatively new "adult" status. There was still that youthful innocence present but with that bubbling undercurrent of possibility that the relationship could evolve into something that might make us both more closely resemble the adults we were in the eyes of the law and of Mother Nature.

When the relationship ended after eight months I felt a bit knocked off my moorings and stuck in a bit of a rut and I was suddenly in a place where the book was useful to me. Little did I know at the time how much the little nugget on marriage from the opening pages would ring true for me.

My fashion sense was non-existent. While I never did "front up at the office" in "cum-stained, thread-worn tracky dacks and an 'I'm with Stupid' T-shirt" I did once show up for work at a retail job wearing an ensemble that prompted one of my coworkers to ask, "Florida practice?" (knee-socks & sandals with shorts and a polo... all I was missing to pull off the septugenarian Floridian snowbird motif was a pair of Blueblockers). I did also willingly accept some of my then manager's hand-me-down clothes that he was passing along largely because he'd acquired some fashion sense and was in the process of shedding off the vestiges of his youth. Luckily I was rescued from the indignity of mustard-yellow button fly jeans by the woman who later became my wife long before I ever actually wore them in public. Somewhere out there is probably a homeless person wearing one of the cast-off puffy shirts from Seinfeld with my old mustard yellow button-flys and he's probably pulling off the look far better than I ever could have hoped to.

When you add to that my theory on hairstyling was "economical/low-maintenance" causing me to go from the extreme of short spiked hair to a long thick head of hair (at times even resembling a mullet) before I'd get it trimmed back to the spartan almost military length I'd been at four to five months earlier... at the time of my last haircut. The short 'do-- it works for a lot of guys. Unfortunately, it did me no favors and served only to accentuate my ears giving me a look that suggested I'd had an ear transpant from a Ferengi.

While my fashion sense has improved substantially I still from time to time commit the ocassional fashion faux pas or sacrelige-- white after Labor Day, brown socks with black shoes (or vice versa), striped shirts with argyle sweaters, and outfits exhibiting colors insulting to nature, or silk shirts with leather vests parachute pants and aviator style sunglasses. I could go on but I'm pretty sure you've got the idea.

But the days when I actually look good. When I manage to put together a rather tasteful outfit please don't compliment me. It's my wife. It's her blood, sweat, tears, toil, and frustration that lifted me from my fashion abyss and magically made all the offensive clothing in my closet disappear only to reappear on racks at the nearest Goodwill store. It's her I have to thank for saving me from myself.

*Tracky Dacks - (Aus. Slang) Tracksuit Pants

Flashpoint (or more comic book geekery)

2011-02-22T00:01:00.000-08:00

Hi, I'm Perplexio, and I'm a comic book geek. I started buying comics when I heard that there was going to be a new Batman movie directed by Tim Burton and starring Michael Keaton and Jack Nicholson. As I started delving into the comic world I made several startling (at least for me) discoveries. The Robin I'd grown up with in reruns of the old 60s show and later the cheesy SuperFriends cartoon from the late 70s/early 80s, Dick Grayson, had moved on and become a new and different costumed hero, Nightwing. And the mantle of Robin had been assumed by a young orphaned street punk whom Batman caught trying to steal the tires off the Batmobile, Jason Todd. This had all happened prior to my introduction to the comic book version of Batman.

By the time I started the habit, Jason had been killed by the Joker and Batman had become a bit "unhinged" by the death of his young ward and sidekick. A rather intuitive young lad, Timothy Drake, had pieced together Batman and Nightwing's true identities and the fact that the 2nd Robin had been killed. At first Tim was encouraging Nightwing to reunite with Batman. But Dick had moved on and had no interest in reprising the sidekick role in either his current or former costume. Rather impressed by Master Tim's detective skills Batman took him under his wing and trained him. His detective skills were already superior to that of his predecessors but his athletic abilities needed some work... and eventually Tim became the new Robin.

Around this time CBS announced a Flash TV series featuring John Wesley Shipp as Barry Allen. So I started collecting The Flash as well only to learn The Flash was now Wally West. Barry had been killed off about 5 years earlier and Wally West/Kid Flash had become the third Flash (the original being Jay Garrick, the guy with the winged WWI army helmet, blue pants, and red shirt with a yellow lightning bolt). Initially I was a bit annoyed that The Flash I was reading in the comics and The Flash I was watching on TV were 2 different characters so I started hunting down back issues featuring Barry Allen. Eventually though, Wally West won me over. I came to prefer him over his predecessor due predominantly to the superb writing of William Messner-Loebs and later Mark Waid. Where Messner-Loebs had written Wally as a man struggling with his own identity and living perpetually in the shadow of his mentor, Waid pulled him from out of his mentor's shadow and made him a super hero in his own right, some (self included) would argue Wally West ended up transcending his mentor's legacy.

A few years ago, DC decided to shuffle things up and thus started the royal botching of the writing of the Flash comic. Initially Wally ran off into the sunset with his wife and 2 kids to another world. He was going into semi-retirement as a super-hero to be more of a family man... Fair enough. But DC was rather vague as to where he had run off to and what he was up to. There was no formal passing of the torch. They just arbitrarily aged his sidekick, Kid Flash/Bart Allen (the grandson of Barry Allen) 4 years (from about age 16 to age 20) and made him the newest Flash.

This would have been acceptable to readers had there been some semblance of a formal passing of the torch from Wally to Bart. While this had happened DC never had shown it. It was just vaguely referenced in the first few issues featuring Bart Allen as the Flash. The first storyline was written by Bilson and DiMeo two of the writers from the old Flash TV series in the 90s. It was okay but rather weak-- not really the excitement grabbing intro of a New Flash that it should have been. Then the title was taken over by Marc Guggenheim (who has also written for television-- among other writing credits he wrote for the short lived ABC Legal Dramedy, Eli Stone). Guggenheim's writing was far superior, imho, and I started to warm to the idea of Bart Allen as the Flash... and just as I started to warm to Bart Allen-- only 13 issues and a little over a year into his run as The Flash and largely due to sagging sales Bart, who was one of the better written young characters DC had introduced in the 90s, was killed off.

Wally was brought back but only as a stop-gap measure until DC decided to resurrect Barry Allen.

Despite being generally against the idea of resurrecting a character that had been killed off over 20 years before and the interesting plotholes related to such a resurrection (why did the resurrected Barry Allen suddenly appear younger than his successor, and how/wife did his wife/widow reverse age? She went from being portrayed as a believable but generally well-preserved grandmother figure-- think Jane Seymour to suddenly looking about 20-30 years younger) I was willing to give writer, Geoff Johns, a chance to win me over.

Now over a year into Barry's resurrection I have been wowed-- not by Barry Allen... (at least not yet) but by Eobard Thawne, the Reverse Flash. Thawne has also been resurrected as he had been killed by Barry Allen back in the early 80s. As he had been written in the 60s-80s, Thawne was a bit 1-dimensional and cardboard. Geoff Johns resurrected Thawne as a brilliant and well-fleshed out super-villain.

Throughout his run as the Flash, Barry Allen was able to travel through time using a "cosmic treadmill." Although he repeatedly refused to change events that would alter the future. His only reason for traveling through time was to prevent some of his rogues from altering the past as a means to change the future or to chase down some of his rogues that were trying to escape into the future. Eobard Thawne had and has no such reservations about changing the past-- going so far as to change the past to remove from existence people he doesn't like from the present. Thawne is obsessed with Barry Allen so the last thing he wants to do is erase the existence of the object of his obsession... Instead he changes the past to remove from existence or drastically alter the existence of those Barry loves and cares about. He releases the catch on a screen door so Barry's childhood dog runs out into traffic and gets killed, he kills Barry's mother and frames Barry's father for the murder and generally just about any and every misfortune in Barry's life is due to Thawne's meddling in Barry's past....

Which brings us to the present... Not content to merely mess with Barry's past. Thawne has decided to remove many of Earth's other heroes from existence. He prevents the murder of Thomas and Martha Wayne by Joe Chill so Bruce Wayne grows up to be a billionaire playboy casino owner instead of the Batman; and he prevents the crash of the spaceship of the alien that bestowed upon Hal Jordan his Green Lantern and his GL ring, and DC is being rather mum on the other changes to the past Professor Zoom invokes to erase from existence some of the most cherished figures in DC's stable of super heroes.

This major DC story event will be starting this summer. Barry passes out and wakes up to find that many of his fellow super heroes no longer exist (although their alter-egos exist as civilians) and there are several new heroes that didn't exist before that have now been around for quite awhile. And its up to Barry to figure out how and when Professor Zoom changed the past and fix it.

There is something delightfully and brilliantly evil about a character who rather than kill those he doesn't like, goes back in time either to prevent that person's parents from meeting or somehow changing the circumstances of a person's existence to remove their threat to him. It's also considerably more malicious than a brilliant but unhinged madman with green hair and a white face messing with your head and killing your sidekick.

Currently Marc Guggenheim is working on a film script for a Flash movie tentatively scheduled for a late summer 2013 release. I'm really hoping that Eobard Thawne/Professor Zoom is in the script. He's just too rich of a character to go to waste. Considering the script isn't complete, the film hasn't yet been cast, there is considerable speculation and casting wish lists by fellow comic geeks for who should play The Flash. Rather than weigh in on that, I'd like to put on the table-- if Professor Zoom IS in the script for the Flash movie the perfect casting choice to play him, Paul Bettany.

Taxation: Changing the perception

2011-01-24T13:15:00.000-08:00

I know the common perception of conservatives or at least the perception that seems to be perpetrated by many of the pundits whose politics fall to the progressive side of the spectrum is that conservatives are greedy lot who want something for nothing-- that we want all of the services provided by our government without having to pay for them.

Whereas the view from this side of the political spectrum is that money is earned and hard work should be rewarded and not punished by higher taxes. That is to say, our income is generally EARNED. It's not given freely. We have to work for it but before we get that earned income chunks of it get taken out and given to the public sector to pay for these services. Some may argue the semantics and say that with the current income tax structure the money is merely being "payroll deducted" for the goods and services the government provides much like health insurance, 401k, etc. already are.

We are expected as individuals and families to balance our budgets and be fiscally responsible. The money we pay in taxes, we expect to be spent responsibly and we expect the services the government provides to be delivered in the most cost-efficient manner possible.

Our government is supposed to represent us. We're supposed to elect our best and brightest to represent us in this little representative republic of ours, yet how can we be expected to be fiscally responsible when those who are spending our money lack that same sense of responsibility?

Recently my state increased the income tax by 66% (from 3% to 5%). The corporate tax was also raised and the state unemployment rate is over 10%. Let's reiterate, in a struggling economy with high unemployment the tax rate was RAISED. Now this wouldn't be as bitter a pill to swallow if the state had at least made some attempts to cut spending first. Unfortunately, the bill to increase the Illinois state income tax increased after midnight on the last day of the previous legislative session.

In contrast, and normally I'm not a fan of Governor Moonbeam, but Jerry Brown is announcing massive cuts in government spending in California. He's said that he might still have to raise taxes but he's going to do his best to make up their budget shortfalls by cutting spending so that even if he does have to raise taxes he won't have to raise them as much. Did Governor Quinn even try to cut anything first? There were small cuts made, but they were largely symbolic. While Quinn inherited a bit of a budget mess from Blagojevich (a governor who added a tremendous amount of programs to the government without a means to pay for those programs) his first instinct was not to cut spending but to raise taxes.

I understand there are basic services that are provided by our taxpayer dollars but there are other states that are the same size as Illinois or larger in population that are able to provide those services more efficiently with a considerably smaller chunk of tax income than Illinois does.

Illinois has one of the most corrupt and nepotistic state governments in the Union which explains the waste and general inefficiency of our government. And I acknowledge the state needs to pay its bills for services rendered. That is part of fiscal responsibility. But if we don't make the necessary cuts-- and many of them will be painful-- it doesn't matter how much our taxes get raised because we'll always be falling short. Maybe raising taxes will allow the state to pay its bills now but without some necessary cuts, how can we be guaranteed that we won't be perpetually in this situation? The more taxes get raised the more business unfriendly this state becomes-- the more business unfriendly the state becomes, the fewer people there are paying taxes and thus the taxes will continue to go up for those of us who remain here.

But lets rewind a bit-- what if we were taxed not on what we earn but on what we spend? We already are to some extent (via state and local sales taxes). The perception of those tax dollars would likely change as we'd be paying into our government money we were spending, not money we were earning.

When we pay for something, we are giving money in exchange for goods or services rendered. The money ceases to be ours at the point of exchange. Thus if we were taxed on consumption rather than income it wouldn't be viewed as the government "taking" our money, the perception would be that we're "giving" our money to the government. This creates the perception (rightly or wrongly, depending on your POV) that we have some semblance of control over where our money is going.

Critics of this idea cite the potential for abuse-- the legislation of our behavior by our government via taxation. The easisest way to control behavior, after all, is through our wallets and bank accounts. For example, if the government were to raise taxes on foods that are high in sugar it would likely decrease our consumption of those foods (depending on how high the taxes on those goods is). That being said I can certainly see how this would actually be seen as a positive not a negative in some circles.

I guess it comes down to-- taxes are necessary, but would you rather be taxed on the money you earn or on the money you spend?

There are bad days and then there are....

2011-01-18T18:44:00.000-08:00

Days when the shit hits the fan. This morning the first thing I had to deal with was an overflowing toilet flooding the bathroom, followed by banging my cheek on my chest of drawers in the dark while reaching for a belt in my drawer and then... well unfortunately for my wife she found our daughter covered head to toe with the results of an explosive diaper while I was at work.

Can I get a do-over?

Politicizing a tragedy

2011-01-12T00:01:00.000-08:00

Attempting to link Sarah Palin's politics to Jared Loughner's shooting rampage in Arizona last weekend is akin to me linking my taste in music to the snowstorms that have been plaguing the East Coast this winter. In an effort to curb the high volumes of East Coast snow, I'll stop listening to my favorite band.

... and that's all I have to say about that.

Looking back and looking forward too much can give you whiplash.

2011-01-07T00:01:00.000-08:00

This time of year many bloggers, myself included, have in the past released detailed lists-- the best albums, movies, books, whatever of the year, the most defining moments etc. etc.

For some reason I just haven't felt as compelled to do that this year as I have in years past. There are albums that were released this year that I found to be enjoyable and worthy of mention on such a list were I to write one (oh okay, stop twisting!).

5. Yoso Elements: featuring former members of Yes, Toto, and even a Yes covers band. Their music is more prog-rock than Asia or Toto but more accessible and pop-friendly than Yes.
4. Black Country Communion Black Country featuring Glenn Hughes (ex-Deep Purple), Joe Bonamassa, Derek Sherinian (ex-Dream Theater), and Jason Bonham. While all of the songs are enjoyable they're all very similar. Individually each song is thoroughly enjoyable, but trying to listen to the album as a whole can feel a bit repetitive.
3. The Cat Empire Cinema Great Aussie party band with a horn section jazz/ska/pop. Thoroughly enjoyable album but it still doesn't match up to the brilliance of their debut nor 2005's Two Shoes.
2. Steve Lukather Alls Well That Ends Well: Toto guitarist's most personal album since 1997's Luke. It picks up right where 2008's Ever Changing Times leaves off.
1. Steve Hackett Out of the Tunnel's Mouth: The first "perfect" album I've heard in a LONG time. Easily Hackett's best solo album of his career thus far. That's saying a lot as he's had some real beauties over the past few decades.

I did read books this year that I thoroughly enjoyed at the time I read them... but the one that stuck with me most (This Is Where I Leave You by Jonathan Tropper) I've already written about. ("and that's all I have to say about that"- in my best Forrest Gump voice).

I know this is the time of year when people tend to take stock of their lives... but as Minnie Driver said in Grosse Point Blank, "Leave your livestock alone!" People also tend to both reflect on the year that's passed and make plans/resolutions/promises to be broken about the year to come. If you're a regular reader, you know I've already reflected on last year.

For some reason this year I'm a bit more noncommital on any further of my traditional reflections of the past. A few years ago the future was so bright I was wearing shades-- recently married, secure job, new home, the economy was looking good. Then someone turned out the lights and I was stuck in my sunglasses at night. When the lights came back on what I saw no longer resembled what I'd been seeing before. This has left me with some reticence about going forward in life with my eyes holding a steady gaze in the rearview mirror, cell phone in one hand, razor in the other, while I steer with my knee and read the newspaper going 70 mph in bumper to bumper traffic. (phew... have to stop and catch my breath after so many metaphors, not to mention 80s song references in such a short span of time).

As one who has traditionally been overly nostalgic I'm finding the luster of nostalgia wearing off. Not sure whether it's from generally world weariness or if perhaps I've reached the top of my hill that so many of us get teased about being over after a certain age. If it's the latter, I'm here a bit early. I think I'll stick around and enjoy the view for a few years let others my age catch up so we can all go down the other side together.

A Reflection on the Past Year

2010-12-23T00:01:00.000-08:00

Normally the holiday season is a time in which many of us reflect on the year that's just passed and prepare for the year to come. For others reflection this time of year is limited to noticing Christmas decorations out of the corner of their eyes as they look in the mirror.

I wish I could say I had something deep or profound to offer, that maybe I'd solved or at least gained enough of a unique perspective on one or more of the many problems plaguing the world, or at least my country, to have done something substantial to contribute to the forward growth and evolution of humanity.

Heck, I'd settle for having written and published a short story... perhaps even the Great American Short Story (I know I don't yet have the discipline to have written a novel, let alone the Great American Novel-- baby steps!). But no, not yet.

Admittedly, the past year has been far more about parenthood than penmanship or writing. With just over 18 months under my belt I'm still rather new to this fatherhood gig and with my daughter at the age she is and changing as fast as she is and being as resistant to change as I can be at times... it has been a challenge. At the rate she's growing and developing, just as I start to figure things out I have to start figuring things out all over again. Intially I had to learn to step in and help out more and now it's more a matter of stepping back and letting her figure things out for herself more and as she further develops letting her learn from her own mistakes more and more. This isn't a case of "woe is me" I know this tale of parenting is an old one and there are other fathers facing greater challenges than I. I welcome the challenges and look forward to continuing to see things for the first time all over again through my daughter's eyes. On a somewhat corollary note, I have noticed that those overly sentimental father-daughter songs are having an exponentially increasing emotional effect on me.

Another change that has taken place over the past eighteen months is a shift of priorities from what is important to my wife & I as individuals and as a couple to what is important to us as a family unit and how those shifting priorities have started to dictate our actions more. One of the things that both my wife & I have mentioned is an apprehension that as she grows up our daughter will see us merely as her parents. We want her to have a sense of who we were and are as individuals as well as her parents. We want her to understand that while that is part of who we are-- it's not all of who we are. I think in better understanding the full scope of who her parents are, Samantha, will be better equipped to figure out who she is as she grows older.

As a bit of a genealogy and history buff, I believe part of who you are is on some level the sum experiences of your ancestors. We learn from their mistakes and their traditions help give us a sense of who we are and a sense that we're part of something much bigger. Since my wife & father-in-law are British and my mother-in-law is Kiwi my wife & I have discussed celebrating some British and possibly some Kiwi holidays with Sami to better understand and appreciate her background. For example I suggested we make a tradition of celebrating St. George's Day and possibly the Queen's Birthday starting with the upcoming year. Living in America, she'll automatically already gain exposure to the American holidays so we don't really have to go out of our way to celebrate those. And she has already started to get a semblance of her British heritage as we celebrate Christmas with my in-laws who incorporate their English traditions with their adopted American ones. Christmas crackers, plum pudding with brandy sauce, mince pies (something I was lukewarm about initially, but I've grown to love more each successive year that my wife has made them).

We've also started some traditions our own for the holiday season that may or may not be unique but are certainly special to us. On Christmas Eve, we're joined by our daughter's godfather for dinner. He lives close by and has become quite an active participant in her life. And at some point over the following week I make "sausage bread" something I picked up from one of my sisters. Admittedly hers is far better than mine as she does it from scratch whereas I get by with a little help from the Pillsbury Dough Boy. Maybe I should take my parenting cues from him too.

Death & Taxes

2010-12-16T00:01:00.000-08:00

I've been reading arguments in favor and in opposition to the "death" or "estate" tax. And while I understand the logic of those who are in favor of estate taxes, I do find myself falling under the category of those who are opposed to estate taxes (or at least opposed to estate taxes at their 2011 levels).

The Estate Tax:
For: Inheritances are generally considered "un-earned" income. That is to say the transfer of income from the deceased to his/her benificiaries requires no "work" on the part of the benificiaries. They inherit the money based on the wishes of the decedent. As such that income should be taxable. People shouldn't freely receive income without taxation. They should have to work for their income.

Against: It's my understanding that we're not supposed to be taxed twice on the same income. That is to say our income is taxed on interest earned in investments (Capital Gains) or on income earned in good old fashioned employment. That being said, if a person over his/her life has managed his/her finances wisely. That income has already been taxed by the government when it was earned, and possibly even twice if some of the income is the result of interest earned from wise investments. And we often get taxed yet again (at the state & local level at least) based on our consumption of goods and services (sales tax). With the understanding that we've already been taxed for income we've earned, why should our benificiaries be taxed on our earned income?

Now I understand it takes money to keep our roads in drivable condition, to maintain our postal service, to pay public servants (whether they be politicians, mail carriers, FBI agents, or military personnel) and that money has to come from somewhere-- our taxes. I'm not against taxation but it does seem that by taxing income whether it be earned or unearned we're in effect punishing success and rewarding failure by rewarding that income to people who may not have earned it.

Generally most people who lean right of center politically aren't against being taxed but are more against HOW they are taxed and how their tax dollars are being wasted/spent (depending on your point of view) and thus they're proponents of a complete overhaul of the tax code:

The Flat Tax:
The flat tax basically states that everyone-- across the board pays the same percentage of their income in taxes (I believe most proponents of the flat tax have suggested 17% as the ideal rate of taxation). The logic does make some sense-- after all 17% of Bill Gates billions and billions of dollars is a much larger chunk of change than 17% of the income generated by a college student on a summer job. Where the flat tax gets a bit "sticky" are our dependents... Why should two people earning the same exact amount of money-- one person supporting 5 kids have to give 17% of his income (or 17% of the combined income of he and his spouse) when someone without dependents is getting taxed at the same rate? In this situation the flat tax would actually discourage propagation of the species and the growth of the nation's population (some might argue that in some regions or for some people this would actually be a positive thing but that's another argument for another time).

The Fair Tax:
The fair tax on the other hand calls for the abolition of income tax completely and a shift to taxing based solely on consumption. Thus you're rewarded for the fruits of your labors @ 100% and taxed instead on how you choose to spend your money. In this system we'd end up paying more for our goods and services but we'd also be taking home ALL of our net earned income (not our gross as some of the earned income would still go to pay for employee benefits). Many proponents of the fair tax have suggested a voucher system for the economically disadvantaged... Similar to food stamps. People of lower income levels would be issued vouchers that they could use to purchase essential items (food, clothing, etc.) tax free. Thus they'd only actually be taxed on non-essential expenditures (entertainment expenses and etc.).

Of the two the fair tax does indeed sound more "fair" than the flat tax as it is consumption and not income based but I do still see possible negative reprecussions of a fair tax-- that is to say taxing based on consumption leaves the door open to our government essentially "legislating" certain behaviors based on taxation and thus the potential politicization of taxation. Although, I have heard stories of things like this already happening based on the existing tax code (employers sending letters to their employees prior to election day essentially saying, "we're not telling you who to vote for.... but keep in mind if you vote for candidate B over candidate A we will likey be taxed more and that is income we will not be able to use for pay raises/hiring/benefits/etc. Please keep this in mind when you cast your ballots.")

A more obvious example of "taxation" legislating behavior actually already exists in the airline industry. Airlines that choose to charge extra for checked bags have seen an increase of occurrences of people trying to bring on over-sized carry-ons and has led travelers to pack more "efficiently" and purchase fewer tsotschkes (sp?) while on vacation to try to prevent the need for additional baggage and thus the additional surcharges for those extra bags.

And that's the private sector. Can you imagine the federal government doing the same thing?

And in the end...
Maybe the whole problem is that economists are not sociologists or anthropologists. Economic theories are generally only perfect when existing inside a vaccuum free of human interaction. Thus theories only apply 100% of the time in fantasy and are at best, flawed and imperfect in reality as they often fail to fully take into account human nature.

Perhaps the problem is that we're yet to come up with the perfect economic system. Both socialism and capitalism carry with them a certain naivete due to a surplus of trust on the public or private sector (respectively) and that either the government or corporations are acting in our best interests, not their own.

This Is Where I Leave You

2010-12-08T00:01:00.000-08:00

I recently finished reading Jonathan Tropper's This is Where I Leave You. I've read most of Tropper's other books over the past three years or so and I've come to thoroughly enjoy his work. This Is Where I Leave You follows the trials and travails of Judd Foxman. Judd's father, Mort, has just passed away. One of his dying wishes being that his family sit Shiva for him. This is a surprise to Judd and his siblings as their father's idea of religion in life was somewhat non-existent. Even going so far as to say he didn't believe in God but "I've been wrong before" (a sentiment I'm guessing that many of us today can relate to on some level).

Judd's life is spiraling out of control as he's recently found himself out of a job and a marriage after discovering his wife in flagrante delicto with his boss. He and his siblings-- Paul, Philip, and Wendy don't get along so the thought of spending seven days in the same house with them is at best unwelcome and at worst somewhat terrifying to Judd.

Early in the book Tropper used the following passage to beautifully capture Judd's sense of loss and resignation about his future:

I may not be old, but I'm too old to have this much nothing. I've got the double chin of a stranger in photographs, the incipient swell of love handles just above my hips, and I'm pretty sure that my hairline, the one boundary I've always been able to count on, is starting to creep back on me when I'm not looking, because every so often my fingers discover some fresh topography on my upper forehead. To have nothing when you're twenty is cool, it's expected, but to have nothing when you're halfway to seventy, softening and widening on a daily basis, is something altogether different. It's like setting out to drive cross-country without any gas money. I will look back on this time and see it as the start of a slow process that ends with me dying alone after living out my days in an empty apartment with only the television and a slow, waddling dog to keep me company, the kind of place that will smell stale to visitors, but not to me, since the stale thing will be me. And I can feel that miserable future hurtling toward me at high speed, thundering across the plains in a cloud of dust like a wildebeest stampede.

What makes Tropper so enjoyable to read is that his characters are real and the endings instead of being happy, per se, leave his characters in a place where they have a resolution and/or realization about their past with a possibility, but not a guarantee of happiness in their futures. And I can't help but love a line like, "I may not be old, but I'm too old to have this much nothing."

Malleus Maleficarum

2010-12-01T00:01:00.000-08:00

Aussie blogger, Sam de Brito, got me thinking today with his post on the 15th century tome, Malleus Maleifcarum by Heinrich Kramer. The book is basically a manual on how to determine which women are witches and how to torture and kill said witches. Today the book might seem amusing. From a historical context however its rather chilling when you stop to think of all the women who were put to death because they were suspected of witchcraft. It's even more chilling when you stop to consider what was once considered to be witchcraft.

It also gets one thinking of the historical lack of accountability many men have when it comes to sex. Men who cheated on their wives weren't to blame for cheating... It was the women with whom they cheated with. They were accused of "bewitching" these men causing them to take leave of their senses.

To some extent this mentality exists today (although, thankfully, not on the same openly hostile level it did in the 15th century) in the double standards that continue to exist between genders. Men who are attracted to younger girls are lured in by their youthful innocence. The girls are often referred to as "Lolitas" and the assumption being that they led the man astray. Older women who are attracted to younger men however are referred to as "Cougars." The term Cougar implies a predatory nature. Its as if to say the boys are lured into relationships or dalliances with older women against their will. In neither scenario is the male being held accountable for his actions. In both situations the male is portrayed as falling prey to the allure of females.

What is somewhat amusing about all of this is the huge contradiction it creates (and this is something de Brito also mentions in his post)-- Men are supposed to be strong, willful, virile... masters of our own destinies if you will. But we see a nice set of legs though and all bets are off?!

Now I'm not going to try to deny the inherent biology here. Most of us straight blokes do have a weak spot for the shielas. It's a common theme running through history going all the way back to Adam falling prey to Eve's wiles as she talked him into eating an apple from the one tree that God told him not to eat from. We see an attractive lass and common sense gets thrown out the window. For lack of a better word for this phenomenon, I believe I'll defer to the owl in Bambi -- we get "twitterpated" (and today some men get "twitterpated" in gentleman's clubs by girls named Bambi, go figure)

My issue comes not from the phenomenon or the biology behind it or even that it happens... The issue is that we still use this as an excuse, an out for a general lack of accountability. And that lack of accountability has contributed to the perpetuation of many outdated mysoginistic ideas that still bubble under the surface today.

The trouble is that there do exist the men who perpetuate the stereotype and in perpetuating the stereotype they perpetuate the lack of accountability that goes with it. We men lack self-control when it comes to the opposite sex so we need society to better police our behaviour and keep us out of situations that would cause us to lose that self control and commit crimes against women and children. Give me a break! It has come to the point where men are avoiding careers in education for fear of being viewed as predatory. Why else would a man want to be a teacher than to be around teenaged girls and/or young children? (incidentally this is another theme/issue that de Brito has tackled in his blog-- as have I.)

The reality of course is that we need one another-- men and women. We give one another balance. To tip the scales too far in either direction does our society as a whole a huge disservice. It has to start somewhere and I can't think of any better place than personal accountability. It does take "two to tango." And when it comes to crimes of passion, infidelity, and what not-- it is possible for both parties to be both equally guilty and equally innocent? It's not always a predator/prey scenario. If a man cheats on his wife, isn't it possible that he's just as guilty for "straying" as his mistress is for "leading him astray" or to turn it back to the 15th century nomenclature, for "bewitching him?"

The Insulation and Homogenization of American Culture

2010-11-19T00:01:00.000-08:00

In my music collection I have collections of the top 100 songs from the Billboard charts for almost every year between 1970 and 1990. This past week at work I've been listening to some of the material from the early eighties and I've noticed that as the decade progressed there was a homogenization of sorts of the music being played on the radio. In the early eighties radio stations played much more eclectic mixes of material the same station that would play material by AC/DC and Billy Squier would also play material by Kenny Rogers, Eddie Rabbit, & Juice Newton. As the decade progressed the variety of material regressed.

When I was young the TV offerings were substantially more limited. There were the 3 major US networks, 2 stations out of Manhattan 300 miles to the south (WPIX and WWOR), and 3 Canadian stations due to our proximity to the Canadian border (CBC, CTV, & CJOH). Oh, and if you had a special box, there was HBO on channel 6.

Because of limited options on television and the variety of radio we were tied together considerably more by a certain commonality of experience. We may have had political differences but our neighbor down the street couldn't have been too bad a fellow because he caught last night's episode of M*A*S*H* and enjoyed it as well. That's something we could talk about-- a shared experience of enjoyment. Nevermind what his political beliefs were because the subject of politics rarely came up.

It's a lot harder to demonize those with which you disagree politically if you share some similarities and some life experiences, watch some of the same TV shows, listen to some of the same music.

Fast forward to the present. We have hundreds of cable channels, radio stations are heavily programmed to play only certain "genres" of music, advertising is growing more specifically targeted to certain demographic groups rather than the population as a whole. As a culture this is causing the trend of getting us as individuals to focus more on our differences than our similarities and in so doing is causing increasing divisiveness.

Our similiarities with one another are blurring and our differences are coming into sharp focus. The art of compromise is being forgotten as we see increasingly less in common with one another due to our decreasing level of shared common experiences.

When you add to that the increased reliance on technology; our cell phones, laptops, iPods, etc.; they insulate us from one another. It's considerably easier to call someone names or insult that person when you think of that person as a name on a screen as opposed to a living breathing human being. It's easier to cast insults at those you disagree with when you don't have to view the reprecussions of your actions. When you don't see the effect your words have on the person your words are directed at.

Between the pigeonholing and insulation of our culture, we've stopped seeing one another as fellow people and started seeing one another more and more as allies and adversaries based respectively on our shared or conflicting viewpoints. That has mushroomed into our increasingly more polarized and culturally divided nation.

I don't know the solution, I wish I did. But I'd like to think having an awareness and understanding of what is happening and why is a good first step towards finding a solution and hopefully tearing down some of the walls we've started to build between us.

Discovering the art of feigned innocence

2010-11-15T00:01:00.000-08:00

This weekend I was folding and putting away laundry as I was keeping an eye on my daughter wandering around and getting herself into and out of mischief. After putting away the last bits of laundry I started looking around to see what kind of mischief she'd got into.

We keep all of our photo albums on a bookshelf in our guest room. As I walked to the guest room doorway I noticed ALL of the photo albums strewn across the floor. I took a peek in my daughter's bedroom and saw her playing so I went in and started picking up the photo albums and putting them away.

My daughter shows up in the doorway a moment or two later with a surprised look on her face and says, "OH NO!" As if to say, "How did that happen?" My daughter is 17 months old. I didn't think they were supposed to figure out the feigned innocence routine quite this young. And if she's figured it out this young... I'm in REAL trouble when she gets older.

It wasn't about the race, it was about the economy!

2010-11-04T17:45:00.000-07:00

On Tuesday New Mexico elected their first Female Hispanic Governor, Susana Martinez. South Carolina, long considered one of the most "racist" states in the Union elected their first Female Indian-American governor, Nikki Haley. Florida elected a Cuban-American senator, Marco Rubio.

From their inception in the 1850s until the Civil Rights Act of 1964, the GOP was the generally more accepting party when it came to minorities. When Johnson passed the Civil Rights Act of 1964 a lot of White Southern Democrats felt betrayed by LBJ and his fellow Democrats in Congress and became Republicans.

Ever since then the GOP has been portrayed as a party of hate, racism, xenophobia, ignorance, big business, stupidity, etc. etc. But George W. Bush, love him or hate him-- for all of his faults he had more minorities serving in his cabinet than any president before. When you add Marco Rubio, Nikki Haley, and Susanna Martinez to the mix I'd argue there's an embracing within the GOP of people of minority. There's been an embrace of putting ideas before race or gender within the party. I believe this is in some part attributable to Obama's election and the heavy losses the GOP took in Congress in 2006 and 2008 forcing the Republican leadership to look inwards, retreat, and re-group.

That's not to say there aren't still elements within the GOP, stalwarts who share the ideas of those who joined the GOP in 1964 with racist motivations. That's somewhat unavoidable. I'm not about to condemn the whole GOP for the actions of a small, but vocal, element of the party any more than I'd have branded the entire Democratic Party pre-1964 as being racist... There were racist elements within the party yes but if the whole party had been truly racist to the core they never would have been the party to have passed the Civil Rights Act and who knows we might still be dealing with Jim Crow laws today if not for those in government with the vision and courage to end centuries of racial discrimination and injustice.

In reading some of the more left-leaning commentary on the results of Tuesday's election there's an undercurrent of intellectual superiority that's bubbling close to the surface. I'll concede that for some who voted Tuesday our President's skin color was and continues to be an issue. But I'd counter despite growing more vocal in some regards that contingent is growing smaller and smaller. But it wasn't a bunch of ignorant racists that gave the House of Representatives back to the GOP. The party faithful aren't the ones who decide elections, it's the independents and swing voters who decide elections. And generally it's those voters who vote with their wallets.

The GOP lost control of Congress in 2006 with even more losses in 2008 due largely to their blatant disregard of any semblance of fiscal restraint during the Bush administration. Under Clinton between 1996 and 2000 as volatile as it became at times Clinton and the GOP led Congress acted as counter-balances to one another preventing the country from drifting too far to either the left or right. Under Bush many of those congressmen/women lost their way and any semblance of fiscal restraint they might have had/been forced to have under Clinton contributing to the financial meltdown in 2008. The American people were hungry for a more responsible Congress... Instead the only thing that changed was how the money was being spent... "Meet the new boss, same as the old boss." There was no more fiscal restraint since the Democrats took over the Congress than there was under the GOP in 2000-2006. THAT is the core reason why the Democrats took such heavy losses on Tuesday. They viewed their victories as pro-Democratic mandates... In reality, those were anti-Republican mandates.

The rhetoric coming from the newly elected Republicans is arguably far more humble than that of the Democrats in 2006 or 2008 or for that matter even their GOP predecessors back in 1994 and I do hope that humility stays with them that they learn from the mistakes of their predecessors in both parties. Many of them DO realize their elections are not a pro-Republican mandate they're a call for more fiscal responsibility and the American people will keep "turning over" Congresses until we get the right batch of people to keep government spending in check and return to the days of balanced budgets. If the Republicans continue the spendthrift ways of their predecessors, Congress will turn back over... maybe in 2012, maybe not until 2016, but it WILL happen.

Campaigning and Fiscal Responsibility

2010-11-02T00:01:00.000-07:00

On one of the radio shows I listen to on my morning commutes, John Howell, commented that politicians campaign negatively because it works.

I'm not going to argue the effectiveness or ineffectiveness of campaigning negatively. But I do believe it begs another question. If all the politicians in either party ever do is campaign negatively, how can we be certain that campaigning positively wouldn't work BETTER?

Our elected representatives are our employees. They are elected to serve us, not the other way around. As such, shouldn't elections be treated more like job interviews? If you had 2 candidates applying for the same job and in their respective interviews all they did was bad mouth their opposition, would you hire either of them?

Maybe the candidates of the 2 major parties should treat campaigning more like a job interview and less like a sophomoric name-calling contest. Maybe the electorate would start to respect those who choose to run for public office a bit more if they were forced to run more on job performance and their stances on the issues (issues that they actually can effect change on-- thus, leave abortion off the table. Last I checked Supreme Court Justices were the only ones who had/have the power to change that law and they're an appointed, not an elected office/position).

One of the key issues of this election cycle has been the economy. Which brings me to another point. My views tend to fall right of center. At its core the Tea Party movement makes sense to me. The core belief of the Tea Party movement is one of fiscal responsibility. Unfortunately the movement in many cases has been hijacked by fringe groups. By mere association to the Tea Party these groups have largely taken the reason out of what should be reasonable argument and set of beliefs about the economic direction of our country.

Once upon a time elected office was seen as an honor and privilege. Our elected officials were supposedly our best and brightest. As such they were supposed to lead by example. Our Congress today lacks accountability on so many levels and perhaps most egregiously on fiscal responsibility. How can our elected officials expect us to be more responsible with our money when they're not responsible with our money at all?

Political Indigestion

2010-10-21T20:00:00.000-07:00

This election season has been particularly vitriolic leaving me feeling particularly uninspired about any of the options on this year's menu. I did get a kick out of my state's recent voting machine gaffe with our state's Green Party gubenatorial candidate. Somehow they managed to drop the "N" in Rich Whitney's name and he, perhaps rightly so, felt being listed on the ballot as "Rich Whitey" might cause potential African-American voters to take pause and vote for other candidates. That has given some comic relief in an otherwise overly vitrolic gubenatorial campaign.

My wife-- whose politics lie a bit more to the left end of the political spectrum than mine once asked me why, with my strong views and convictions on many issues, I hadn't pursued a career in politics. I actually do get a rush from speaking in public and enjoy meeting new people... All excellent qualities for anyone entering the political arena... But the one quality I posess which I believe is counter-intuitive to a political career. I'm a private person. Yes I share things about my life on here from time to time, but I'm in control of what does and doesn't get shared. As soon as one enters the political arena, the power to control that diminishes exponentially the higher the office one seeks. Or in the more blunt terms of a gentleman I met at debate for a NY State Assembly race back in 1994, "The higher up you go, the more you show your ass." (In light of Illinois two most recent governors, it can also be said, "The higher up you go, the more you show you're an ass.")

An old friend of mine asked for advice on how to determine who to vote for. In an attempt to be as non-partisan as possible I gave her the following advice:

- Unless he/she is running for president a candidate's stance on abortion is completely irrelevant. It is legal and it would/will take a Supreme Court decision to overturn that. No candidate for senator, governor,... or any other office has the power to change that. Thus his/her views on that issue are as relevant to their candidacy as their taste in music-- not at all.

- There is usually SOME truth to the negative things the candidates say about one another, but often when you learn the true context behind all the mean/nasty things they're saying about one another it's really not that bad at all. And certainly shouldn't be a dealmaker/breaker. Do your research.
- The one issue that many candidates do have some impact to effect some change on is the economy. Vote
with your bank account. Find out the candidates economic stances and let this issue be one of the stronger ones affecting your vote! Vote for the candidate you believe will most help the economy.

While I believe voting is a right, I also believe with that right comes a responsibility to be an educated and well informed voter. Know what the candidates truly believe, but also keep in mind the candidate's abilities. What good is electing a candidate who may agree with you ideologically but is a blithering idiot (John Tyler, maybe not an idiot per se but he managed to alienate not only the opposition but also his own party, ensuring that not only would he not get re-elected his party didn't even give him the nomination for a 2nd term-- in all fairness no one expected him to be President as he was elected as VP under William Henry Harrison who died of pneumonia after only 1 month in office), a doddering lush (Ulysses S. Grant. Great General, but completely ineffective president), or in some other way completely unfit to hold public office.

For example, ideologically I may agree with both Christine O'Donnell and Sarah Palin on many issues. But I couldn't and wouldn't ever support them in an election as I don't believe either of them would be effective in the respective elected offices which they are/were seeking.

Ideologically my beliefs may have been more in line with those of John McCain than Barack Obama, but I couldn't bring myself to vote for a man I didn't support in the primaries let alone the man who was my absolute last choice of all of the Republicans in the 2008 primaries.

So, for those of you who can vote and are planning to do so in just under 2 weeks. Please do so responsibly! And if you happen to be in suburban Chicago, IL and see a guy pull up and a bunch of empty bottles of Pepto-Bismol fall out of his car as he gets out to vote... That's probably me as I'm having a lot of trouble stomaching ANY of the candidates in either party this year.

"Hate Crime"

2010-10-05T00:01:00.000-07:00

The very principle of "Hate Crime" is misguided and arbitrary. It places an artificial weight on crimes perpetrated by people of one category against another. If I get randomly assaulted in a robbery and get severely injured how is it any different than if I'm specifically targeted for being white/WASP/straight/whatever? If the end result of the crime is the same-- why does the motive behind the crime make any difference?

The only "motive" that should be considered in any "crime" is self-defence. Why should an African-American shooting another African-American carry a lighter sentence than an African-American shooting a Hispanic, Caucasian, Asian, or any other race? Isn't that in and of itself somewhat racist? Isn't that saying, "It's bad when you commit crimes against people of your own race, but it's even worse if you commit crimes against other races/minorities/etc.?"

Why should it matter whether the targets of the crime are of the same or different races than that of the assailants?

I thought justice was supposed to be blind... shouldn't that include color blindness?

Football

2010-10-04T06:02:00.000-07:00

A few thoughts:

The Bears: That wasn't a game, that was more like a birthday party for the Giants, and the Bears QB was the pinata... And by Bears QB... I mean Cutler, Collins, AND Hainey. Was the offensive line even there or did they just put out a welcome mat for the Giants?

I'm in a fantasy football league with one of my brothers, a couple of my nephews, and a few of their friends. My QBs on my fantasy team are Carson Palmer and Derek Anderson. As a vote of confidence for my favorite team, the Cleveland Browns, I benched Palmer and played Anderson. BAD decision. Even though my Browns came through and beat the Bengals (23-20). Palmer at least showed up for his game. I don't know what happened to Anderson but a 41-10 loss did not help my fantasy team that much. Luckily I had/have some other players who came through for me and as of last night my fantasy team was defeating my opponent for this week. I haven't checked to see how MNF might change the score just yet.

Last Sunday the Browns lost to the Ravens, but running back Peyton Hillis (the off-season "present" the Browns got in their "gift exchange" with Denver for Brady Quinn-- thus far it appears the Browns got the better end of that deal) burned the Ravens for 144 rushing yards. I checked and noticed no one in my league had picked up Hillis, so I snagged him... He came through for me yesterday-- 104 rushing yards against the Bengals! The Browns may be 1-3 this season but their 3 losses have been much closer than their losses last season. They're playing better and more competitive. They are "re-building" but they've been re-building since 1999 when they came back into the league... I'm hoping that with Mike Holmgren being the "architect" of the "new" Browns that some of this re-building finally takes. The only QB the Browns have had since they came back into the league in '99 who has inpired any confidence in me was Kelly Holcomb. I think one of the biggest mistakes the Browns have made was letting Holcomb go when they brought in Jeff Garcia. Holcomb gave the team some semblance of consistency. He wasn't a great QB, but he was more consistent than Tim Couch had been and in hindsight he was more consistent than Garcia, Dilfer, Frye, Anderson, or Quinn ended up being. I also think Tim Couch could have been a much better QB had he been given a chance to develop. When Ty Detmer turned out to be a bust in '99 Couch was rushed into the starting position before he was ready to be a starter. I think rushing him into the role did him a tremendous disservice. The Browns could have recovered from that mistake with Holcomb but then they made the aforementioned 2nd mistake of trading away Holcomb and perpetuating the revolving door of QBs.

Comfort "Food"

2010-09-24T15:57:00.000-07:00

Every year, autumn greets me with a strange mix of comfort and melancholy. Perhaps it's my October birthday, and with it the general reflection that comes with birthdays, the resistance to aging and the wistful nostalgia of my youth all rolled into one. Or perhaps it's just the dwindling hours of daylight that culminate with the days in which all of my daylight is spent in an office cubicle. The sun just rising as I walk into my office and setting before I exit in the evening.

The changing of the leaves while beautiful gives way to the starkness of naked trees. As the weather cools, and the daylight wanes I find myself listening to a fall soundtrack of sorts:

1. The Verve Pipe - Miles Away: Brian Vander Ark is a brilliant and underrated songwriter. There's a poignant vulnerability to this song. The music evokes overcast fall days with auburn leaves that haven't yet shed from their trees. ("Today was a strange day, I meant what I said, Today was the first day that I've looked ahead.")
2. Chroma Key - Another Permanent Address : There's a relaxed laidback vibe to this song wrapped around some rather melancholy lyrics about the end of a relationship. But it feels more like the end of a season. ("Always it's the same situation, it's got to be somebody's fault, But I never know what to do, so let's say we put the blame on you")
3. Gabriela Kulka - Space Dye Vest: Incidentally this song was written by Kevin Moore/Chroma Key and originally performed by Dream Theater. Ms. Kulka's vocal delivery has a haunting edge to it that was/is missing from James LaBrie's delivery on the Dream Theater original ("Love is an act of blood and I'm bleeding a pool in the shape of a heart, beauty projection in the reflection, always the worst place to start"). I can feel the leaves falling from the trees with each note.
4. Gotye - Hearts a Mess: I was only recently introduced to the delightful music of Wally De Backer. His music has a quality that makes it perfect driving music. This song in particular feels "right" for this season. ("Pick apart the pieces of your heart, let me peer inside, Let me in, where only your thoughts have been, let me occupy your mind, as you do mine")
5. Hunters & Collectors - True Believers: There's a muted trumpet that dances through this song like the lines on a highway on chilly fall drive. ("Let's go dancing in our Sunday clothes, let's raise a glass to the life we chose, can't believe after all these years, you're still laughing, it brings me to tears") This was H&C's final album and this song was their farewell to each other and their fans before going their seperate ways.
6. Poco - Indian Summer: Every fall there's that brief spell of summer weather before the temperatures drop and the leaves finish their exodus from the trees ("There's a full moon in the sky, it's got a hold on me, I'm hypnotized")
7. Neil Young - Harvest Moon: What Autumn playlist would be complete without either Harvest or Harvest Moon by Neil Young. Personally I prefer the latter but one or the other is an essential song for any soundtrack for Fall.
8. Chicago - Happy Cause I'm Goin' Home: A predominantly instrumental piece from their often overlooked 3rd album. There's a relaxed whimsy to the song.
9. Pat Dailey - Here In the North: Dailey is the Great Lakes answer to Jimmy Buffet. His songs vary from the melancholy style and nature of Gordon Lightfoot to the relaxed island whimsy of Buffet. ("Here in the north we're just further from the sun, but the geese still fly, and the rivers still run") Up until his death in 1999, Shel Silverstein wrote many of the lyrics for Dailey's songs.
10. Queen - Those Were the Days of Our Lives: One of the final songs Freddie Mercury recorded before his untimely death. ("Sometimes I get to feelin' like I was back in the old days, long ago, when we were kids, when we were young, things seemed so perfect, you know, the days were endless, we were crazy, we werew young, the sun was always shining, we just lived for fun, sometimes it seems like lately, I just don't know, the rest of my life's been just a show")

What does your Autumn soundtrack look like?

Reminiscing...

2010-09-22T11:40:00.000-07:00

At the tail end of my junior year of high school I befriended a couple of guys with whom I'd become inseperable in my senior year. We were on a perpetual quest for the holy trinity-- "Food, sleep, and chicks who touch us where we pee." (to which we once received the startled response, "You want a girl to touch your toilet?!")... if possible to experience the holy trinity simultaenously...

It was determined that this is not only possible, but somewhat likely in the rather un-glamorous setting of a hospital-- (receiving a sponge bath while you're napping with an I-V drip... although I'm still trying to work out how to get the Porterhouse steak pureed enough to go through the I-V without difficulty).

And while my two friends and I were inseperable for that brief moment in time, we did inevitably go our seperate ways... One of us moved to Maine, another to Albany, NY and then on to suburban Boston, MA and then I left for college in Michigan, and inevitably the Chicago 'burbs (after a brief stint in Northern Ohio following college).

I do still keep in some touch with both of my partners in crime via Facebook but it's not the same... Gone are the days of surreptitiously recording our conversations on a microcassette recorder at 1.2 speed and playing them back at 2.4 speed to create .wav files for use in Windows (I'm really dating myself but I'm talkin' Windows 3.1!), singing loudly and off key to our female friends over the phone (we compensated for our lack of talent with our sheer volume and enthusiasm), playing table tennis using badminton raquettes, and gorging ourselves on Bagel Bites, Pizza Rolls and other unhealthy foods found in your local grocers freezer section.

But I'd like to think that possibly that year still lives on... somewhere there's a computer that chimes in, "Whaddya want now?!" in a thick chipmunk-esque redneck drawl whenever an error message pops up, or maybe there's a gentleman laying in a hospital bed getting a sponge bath from a comely nurse (or at least one that's "his type") while he's napping with a grin cemented on his face so tightly it would take a jackhammer to remove it.

The 30 Day Meme: Day 6 - My Day (In Gre- ahh hell whatever teenage girl came up with this meme really ought to be shot)

2010-09-20T15:13:00.000-07:00

6:00 am (actually 5:54 am, my alarm clock is about 6 minutes fast): Wake up to my alarm. The snooze bar is verboten as far as I'm concerned. I want to sleep right up until the alarm goes off... Not set the alarm for 45 minutes before I actually have to wake up so I can hit snooze a few times before I actually get up. This is something I started in college by strategically placing my alarm clock on the opposite side of the room and sleeping on the top bunk. By the time I got out of bed and walked across the alarm to turn it off I was wide awake.

6:01 am: Turn the shower on, shampoo my hair. Shave, wash my body, rinse the shampoo out of my hair.

6:10 am: Get out of the shower, dry off, brush teeth, blow-dry hair, take my meds.

6:20 am: Get dressed

6:23 am: Check on my daughter, make sure she's still sleeping soundly

6:25 am: Kiss my wife goodbye.

6:26 am: Check my e-mail, delete any junk email (usually most of what is in my inbox at this hour)

6:30 am: Grab my lunch from the fridge, my coffee from the coffee maker, and put on my shoes.

6:32-6:36 am-ish: Hop in the car and tune in to 560 AM WIND (Big John & Amy) for my morning commute.

6:50-6:55 am-ish (depending on traffic) arrive at work.

7:00 am: Arrive at desk, check work emails, start work.

9:30 am: Working breakfast, usually oatmeal.

10:30 am: re-fill my coffee with ~~instant~~ rotgut coffee. Continue working.

Noon: Break for lunch.

12:30 pm: Resume work

2:00 pm: (optional) Re-fill my coffee with more ~~instant~~ rotgut coffee. Continue working.

6:00 pm: Depart my desk.

6:05 pm: Start my car and head home.

6:35-6:45-ish (depending on traffic): Arrive at home to be greeted by my beautiful wife and adorable daughter:

7:00 pm: Give my daughter her bath.

7:15 pm: Change my daughter into her pajamas.

8:00 pm: Read my daughter her bedtime stories, sing her her lullabies, and put her to bed.

8:15-8:30 pm-ish: Eat my dinner. Watch a bit of telly with the wife, un-wind a bit.

9:30 pm-ish: Prepare my lunch for the next day.

9:45 pm-ish Get ready for bed

10:00-10:30 pm-ish: Read whatever book I'm in the middle of/have recently started (as of this posting: Heyday by Kurt Andersen).

10:45-11:00 pm-ish: Turn out the lights and go to sleep.

The 30 Day Meme: Day 5 - My Definition of Love (in great detail)

2010-09-13T13:17:00.000-07:00

Love, as a word, gets tossed around far too liberally and freely. The word is entirely insufficient to truly describe the full depth and breadth of emotion it encompasses. Love is a feeling that betrays description... With that in mind below are three ocassions when I experienced love:

On April 16th, 2005 as I first saw my wife in her wedding gown being led toward me by her father and feeling my breath being taken away and my jaw hitting the floor.

On September 27th, 2008. My wife opened the bathroom door holding three seperate pregnancy tests all displaying Plus signs!

At 8:14 pm on 6/1/09 hearing my daughter's first cries as she entered the world, tears of joy filled my eyes (I'm an emotional sap, what can I say?) After she was cleaned up, the nurse handed her to me to show my wife and then led the two of us into the recovery room while we waited for my wife to join us. As I held her, all swaddled up she stopped crying and looked directly into my eyes. From that moment she had Daddy's heart wrapped around her little finger.

The 30 Day Meme: Day 4 - What I ate today (in great detail)

2010-09-07T13:42:00.000-07:00

This morning I had Cinnamon Swirl instant oatmeal at about 10:30 am.

For lunch I ate a creamy peanut butter and strawberry jam sandwich, a chocolate/vanilla swirl pudding, a small bag of plain potato chips, a Snickers bar, and a can of diet cola.

For my afternoon snack I ate another small pudding, a small strawberry jell-o, and a couple of Saltines.

For dinner I will be eating a Swedish Meatballs TV dinner and I may have a popsicle for dessert. I'm not sure what flavor I'll have though.

(this meme is a bit ridiculous at times... so I may as well have some fun with it)... What I WISH I'D eaten today.

For breakfast: 2 poached eggs on toast with a liberal amount of crushed pepper, 4 strips of thick cut Hickory smoked bacon, and a glass of 100% Orange Juice (not from concentrate).

For lunch: 2 Chicago Style Hot Dogs from Portillo's with all the fixin's (except tomato), a large order of fries, and a 20 oz. bottle of Mt. Dew Throwback (the stuff with the real sugar, not the high fructose corn syrup)

For dinner: A 22 oz. Horseradish crusted Porterhouse steak cooked rare (charred on the outside, purple and bloody on the inside-- Heck, just have the cow lay down on the grill, roll over and then lay down on my plate-- If it ain't moo'in', I ain't chewin'), a twice baked cheddar potato, and oven roasted vegetables (eggplant, zucchini, and red peppers), a pint of Newcastle to wash it down, and for dessert a slice of coconut creme pie.

"MMMM, Sacrelicious!"

2010-09-03T09:12:00.000-07:00

I believe there's an unwritten, mutually understood competition going on between the amusement and theme parks of the world-- not for the best rides (that IS well published after all), but for the unhealthiest food possible.

The common bond to many of these foods is grease. In fact grease is the main ingredient. There is probably more to it than just trying to gain recognition for "Novelty Food Item Most Likely to Result in Heart Attack in Single Serving (or less)" It may also be a means for these parks to make their other foods SEEM healthy by comparison. I mean hot dogs, hamburgers, fried chicken, onion rings, and french fries seem downright healthy when compared to things like fried dough, deep fried cheese on a stick, Deep Fried Pickles, and deep fried (fill in the blank).

It's at the point where I don't believe that the people who come up with these food items are even capable of coming up with healthy food:

Dietician: I think your food needs to be healthier.
Amusement Park Foodie (APF): this 'healthier' you speak of... I'm not familiar with this term.
Dietician: You know, healthy... like vegetables, fish-
APF: We do fish... We have fish sticks deep fried in bacon grease with a Guinness Beer Batter. They're a real hit on Fridays.
Dietician: Not quite what I mean. How about veggies?
APF: Vegetables? We do those too... French Fries, Onion Rings, and one of our most popular items... Sweet Potato Fries with caramel dipping sauce! Oh and we offer sauerkraut for our brawtwurst.
Dietician: How about Broccoli, Lettuce, Zucchini, Cauliflower, Carrots, Tomatoes-
APF: We have tomato ketchup packets at all of our food locations. Thank you for reminding me, I'd forgotten about the ketchup.
Dietician (growing increasingly more frustrated): Let's try this a different way-- broccoli
APF: People don't like broccoli. Heck we even had a president who was famous for not liking broccoli once, didn't we?
Dietician: It's all in the preparation.
APF: I like this, brainstorming... hmm let me think making broccoli more appealing....
Dietician: How about offering salad?
APF: that's just plain crazytalk! Salad at an amusment park? Can I have some of whatever you're smoking?
(dietician mumbles something impolite but unintelligible under her breath)
APF (completely oblivious): OH, I've got it!
Dietician: Yes?
APF: We could deep fry the broccoli in a beer batter and then cover it with chocolate sauce!
(dietician walks away in resigned defeat)

The Muslim Community Center near Ground Zero

2010-08-30T10:55:00.000-07:00

Among other political happenings, I've been following the "Ground Zero Mosque" issue over the past few weeks. Honestly I've got mixed feelings about this issue as I can see both sides.

For my fellow right wingers: It's not actually a Mosque, it's a Muslim Community Center. I thought we were supposed to be champions of the Constitution. The first amendment (it's kind of hard to miss this one) does guarantee Freedom of Religion. Whether it's a mosque or a community center, Constitutionally speaking-- we should support this. By fighting this tooth and nail we come across as xenophobic hypocrites.

For those on the left: Whether or not it's acutally legal and Constitutional, it's in poor taste to put a Muslim Community Center that close to Ground Zero. And say what you will but the choice of location is no more an accident than Glenn Beck's "accident" of giving a speech at the same location of MLK Jr's "I Have a Dream" speech on the anniversary of that speech or the American Nazi Party just happening to organize a demonstration/parade in the predominantly Jewish community of Skokie, IL back in the seventies. Believing it's just an accident that a site that close to Ground Zero was chosen for a Muslim Community Center shows a level of political naivete that is absolutely staggering.

On one hand, if Muslims truly want us to believe they are benign, that they aren't all crackpots hell-bent on destroying any culture that differs from their own choosing to put a community center so close to Ground Zero shows an insensitivity that betrays that logic. I truly don't believe all Muslims are crackpots hell-bent on destroying the US-- but those who aren't crackpots choosing to put their community center THERE aren't exactly doing themselves any favors from a PR standpoint.

On the other hand, by allowing this community center to be built that close to Ground Zero would be an exceptional display of tolerance... Some of the worst elements of the Muslim faith tried to bring us down, but we're going to show the more peaceful of your Muslim brethren a level of tolerance you attempted to destroy.

I guess my point is I believe both sides have legitimate arguments but rather than actually take the time to listen to one another's viewpoints and try to see things from the other side we've resulted to name-calling, race-baiting, and other generally despicable lowest common denominator practices... It's no wonder this country is so damned divided.

The 30 Day Meme: Day 3 - My Parents (in great detail)

2010-08-29T13:03:00.000-07:00

My father was born in the early thirties. He was born in the same town I inevitably was raised in. He was the youngest of three boys and there were 3 and 6 years, respectively, separating him from his two older brothers.

When he was only seventeen years old and a senior in high school his father died of cancer. By then both of his older brothers were married and had started families. Luckily in the fifties there was some semblance of "mentoring" still going on. And the high school principal took my father under his wing and made sure he kept his grades up, scored well on the right tests and inevitably went to SUNY Plattsburgh just 50 miles away. If not for the guidance of his principal he likely would not have gone on to college, nor enlisted in the US Army.

Meanwhile, just a couple of years later up in the Adirondack Mountains my mother was born. She was the oldest of 3 girls. Her sister, Marilyn, was 2 years younger, and her other sister was eight years younger. Sadly when my mother was only four years old Marilyn died of cancer at the all too young age of two. A few years later my other aunt was born.

My mothers first several years of school were in a one room schoolhouse in which her mother was the teacher. She ended up skipping eight grade and started her freshman year of high school as my father was starting his junior year. Since the one room schoolhouse only went through 8th grade my mom ended up having to go to the same high school as my father.

And that's when/where/how my parents ended up meeting. My father slipped a note in my mother's locker expressing his interest. My mom showed it to her mom, my grandmother who dismissed it as being a practical joke of a fellow student with too much time on his or her hands... Until that Sunday when sitting in church my mother noticed her admirer, my father, was singing in the church choir.

Over the years my parents were on again, off again, on again. They dated other people one of which even really wanted to marry my father. But in the end my parents ended up together. Shortly after they married in the mid-fifties my father was stationed in Germany. So for the first couple of years of their marriage as my mom was finishing nursing school they were an ocean apart writing frequently back and forth to one another. Upon my mother's graduation from nursing school she joined my father in Germany where they lived together and when time allowed went on trips around the continent exploring Italy, France, Austria, & Germany rather extensively.

When they returned to their hometown after my father's discharge he received a call from his former principal who was now superintendent asking him if he had a job lined up. When my father said no he was told he'd be teaching sixth grade at one of the local elementary schools. My oldest sister was born a year or so later and when the principal of my father's school retired his old mentor saw it fit to make my father the new principal of that elementary school. A job he held until his retirement in the late eighties.

Around the same time my sister was born, my mother decided she didn't want to go back to nursing. Her schedule kept her away from her young family far too much. So she received her teaching certification and started teaching sex ed at the local junior high (later Middle School). As a result, over the years, all of my siblings, many of my cousins, and I all learned about the birds & the bees from Mom... at the same time as about 20-25 of our respective peers.

Around 1960 my parents decided to become home owners. My father contracted a friend of the family to help him build a house... the house that all of my siblings & I were raised in and my parents live in to this day. My eldest brother was born around the same time. And in many of the old pictures from this era that show the house being built he can be plainly seen playing on a blanket while the house is being built from the basement up in the background.

By 1964, with five kids my parents thought their family was complete... Until the nation's bicentennial year when surprise of surprises my parents learned they would have another. Me...

In the mid-80s the sixth graders from all three of the local elementary schools were moved in to the junior high which then became the "Middle School" and when I "graduated" from the 5th grade and was about to enter the Middle School my father opted to take an early retirement at age fifty five. So from then on my father was the one at home, the one who would take me to doctor, dental, and orthodontist appointments. In more recent years my mother has remarked that I was lucky in that regard as I ended up getting to spend far more time with my father than any of my older siblings. As such, personality wise, I'd argue I'm more like my father than any of my brothers (something my wife frequently reminds me of).

In December 1984 my other grandfather died. I'd never known my dad's father and losing my other grandfather at age seven, I honestly have very little memory of what it's like to have a grandfather. Shortly after my grandfather died, my grandmother moved in with my parents & I and my aunt who had been living across the street from my grandparents moved in to her parents old house.

From the point my grandmother moved in with my parents & I on I essentially had three parents that at times were at odds with one another on how best to raise me. It made for some rather confusing situations for me growing up but my grandmother made a point of taking me with her to visit he sisters and their families. She gave me a sense of extended family I doubt I'd have had, had she not been around. Considering my other grandmother died when I was only about five years old I barely knew and never met too many people from the extended family on my father's side of the family.

My mom retired the same year I graduated from high school. Now that the nest was empty she and my father and grandmother wanted to enjoy their freedom.

As the years progressed my grandmother's health started failing putting my parents back in the role of her caregivers. In mid 2001 my grandmother slipped and broke her hip. She never fully recovered from her injury and never returned home. She died in the early hours of December 26th, 2001.

Since then my parents have started spending increasingly more of their winters in St. Augustine, FL and less time in their hometown. The winters up there are rather brutal and unforgiving. Heavy snowfall, temperatures that frequently dipped into the negatives (and that's on the Fahrenheit scale) don't make for pleasant winters. My siblings and I have tried encouraging them to sell the house and move closer to one of us or maybe get an RV and see the country half the year and spend about a month with each of us over the rest of the year... So far they haven't bitten on that idea.

Sadly my father's two older brothers have both passed on. Some of my cousins have referred to him as the family patriarch in the years since his brothers' passings. He's outlived both brothers and his father. Despite having both knees and a shoulder replaced (one knee has actually been replaced three times now) my father is in rather good health. My parents are continuing to enjoy their retirement and we're hoping they take another visit out here to see their youngest granddaughter sometime soon.

The 30 day Meme: Day 2 - My First Love (in great detail)

2010-08-27T00:01:00.000-07:00

Prior to getting married I was what one might describe as a "serial monogamist." I can count on one hand the number of girls I dated casually and still have fingers to spare. It just wasn't my style and the casual dates I did go on felt generally stilted and uncomfortable to me. When you add to that I was what just about anyone and everyone would describe as a late bloomer... I was no 40 year old virgin but I was 19 before things started to click for me with the fairer sex.

Most of the girls I dated seriously started out as friendships and just evolved into something more as friendships like that often do. So there was never that stilted awkwardness that made my casual dates feel so foreign to me.

In hindsight though, of all the girls I dated seriously (about seven) I only fell in love with three of them... the third time being the charm as I've been married to her for over five of the seven years (and counting) that we've been together.

But anyway the first...

It was the summer of '97. It seemed that Third Eye Blind's Semi Charmed Life, Hanson's MmBop, and Savage Garden's I Want You were competing with the Spice Girls for the most overplayed music of the summer. My then-girlfriend had opted to enlist and I opted to spend my summer working at Cedar Point. We had been good friends that had taken it to the next level and perhaps had no business doing so. I don't believe we were ever in love with each other. That whole platonic thing was there, but on the romantic level we only really gave each other "safety" and most people want more than that out of a relationship.

We'd even had the foresight to discuss the "what if" scenario of meeting other people. And maybe at age 20 we had no business trying to make a long distance relationship work. Especially considering our hearts weren't really in the relationship to begin with. There were girls with whom I flirted, even some I took an interest in, but as long as I was still technically in a long distance relationship I never crossed "that" line.

During my second month working at the park, I started working from time to time with a California girl from Pennsylvania (that is to say she was a student enrolled at California University of Pennsylvania, or by the more voyeuristic acronym C.U.P.) for privacy's sake let's leave her name out of it.

At one point her regular coworker was fired and I was re-assigned to his old position. As a result, from that point on we spent about 10 hours a day, five days a week working together. We worked in a small souvenir shop right near the exit of one of the most popular rollercoasters in the park selling hats and t-shirts. We were the only the only two people who were regularly assigned to that location.

We got along famously and in addition to spending so much time together working, we often hung out with one another after work-- by often I mean every single day-- including our respective days off. When one of us would get off work we'd meet up with the other. But we were both in long distance relationships so we never crossed "that" line.

At the same time, our respective others weren't exactly putting forth much effort keeping in touch with us. Initially I'd written multiple letters to my girlfriend off at basic training but when I noticed a general lack of response I stopped putting forth the effort as well. I wasn't the only one who was a bit disgruntled from the lack of content from our "others"-- my newfound friend had only received a single letter from her boyfriend back in PA.

One night I got home from work to find a rather cryptic message on the answering machine from the girlfriend in basic training, "Remember that thing we talked about possibly happening? Well it did." She'd met someone else and wanted to pursue an interest in him. Initially I was a bit bummed but oddly by the next day I was absolutely giddy. I was finally free. The relationship had come to feel more like a burden, something I was shackled to that was holding me back. It was finally over and the shackles were off. I later came to be somewhat angry as I found out that the girlfriend had been seeing someone else for quite awhile. I was pissed not because she'd been seeing someone else but because she hadn't come clean sooner. But at the same time, I wanted out and I could and should have pulled the plug on things long before she inevitably did. That relationship had actually ended the moment we went our seperate ways at the end of the school year it just took the two of us awhile to realize it.

Many of my friends thought I was a little off that first couple of days. I mean people aren't supposed to be happy when they get dumped-- and I was downright flippin' giddy. I was like Katrina & the Waves, Walking on Sunshine and all that.

One night later, after work I was once again spending time with my friend. We'd been watching a movie in my room at the employee dorm and had fallen asleep with our lips literally only about 3 inches from each other. The sexual tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife. We both wanted that kiss so bad-- I mean we'd spent most of our waking hours together over the prior two months we'd become much more than friends but had never taken it to the next level. But our lips just kind of hovered a couple of inches apart. We could feel the heat from each others breath on our faces. She was still technically in a relationship and I didn't want to cross that line... but at the same time I did... I was really torn. Inevitably, it didn't happen. We got up and I walked her back to her dorm before walking back to mine to finally go to bed (at 6 am).

Somehow, the next night we found ourselves in the exact same position (Hmmm, I wonder how that happened). This time I finally caved. I mean that's a lot of tension and temptation for a 20 year old to resist. One night maybe-- but 2 in a row? I started with a gentle peck on the corner of her lips. I figured if she didn't reciprocate I could pass it off as an innocent friendly peck. But she followed up with a peck on my lips. Once that happened we finally had our first full-fledged, long overdue first kiss.

For the rest of the summer-- which at that point only amounted to about two weeks before she had to go back to college we were largely inseperable and I'm guessing we were also one of those nauseating overly saccharine couples that tend to inspire violence.

She went back to her school and about a week later I went back to mine. Both of us vowing to find a way to make it work. And once again I found myself in a long distance relationship. I visited her for the last week of my winter/Christmas break that year (literally just missing the Ice Storm of 1998 by a few hours) and we rekindled a bit of that passion before I once again returned to school.

A couple of days after Valentine's Day I received a call from her.. The call no one ever likes to receive. And unlike my previous ex's phone message before I was there to take the call this time... and I wasn't left giddy by any stretch of the imagination. I was devastated. I barely ate for a week or two afterwards. And when I did eat I think it was limited to Ramen noodles (I really should send a thank you note to the Maruchan company for keeping me alive). I was taking a creative writing course at the time and I was just bleeding emotional pain so I wrote a short story that was more than a little bit loosely autobiographical.

I had to get it out of me or do something, anything to keep my mind off it. I immersed myself in my schoolwork. It showed at the end of the semester with the best grades I ever received in my college career (and I never quite matched that success my senior year).

And then summer came and I was right back at Cedar Point... And who else was back a couple weeks later? At this point it was really unhealthy. I hadn't quite healed yet and having her around was like pulling off a scab and pouring fresh lemon juice on it.

For the most part we kept our distance from one another for most of the summer. Towards the end of the summer we started spending time together again. We weren't back together. There was a part of me that wanted to get back together with her but there was also a part of me that really didn't. I think deep down inside I knew that even if we did get back together it wouldn't last and I knew I didn't want to be on the receiving end of another emotional sucker punch like the one from the previous February I still had yet to fully recover from.

The trouble was, maybe we both let it go a little too far-- maybe we both let one another back in a little too much. When I left that summer I felt emotionally exhausted. I wasn't happy with how things had played out and ended up writing a poem that was quite bitter and in hindsight a bit unfair to her.

That wasn't the last time we crossed paths. In the summer of 2000, I went back to Cedar Point for a third time. I was in a rather unhappy relationship at the time (well at least I was unhappy, the girl I was dating was giddy and oblivious). The girl I was dating followed me to Cedar Point that summer and who else had returned for yet another summer... my first love. This time around she seemed interested in rekindling things but she held back due to my giddy oblivious girlfriend. And there was that small part of me that was at least curious about the prospect of rekindling things with her. I knew, for example, I likely would have been happier with her than with the girl I was dating at the time... But at the same time that didn't necessarily amount to making it right. I'd already danced that dance a couple of times and even though there was a perpetual vibe of "unfinished business" between us, deep down inside I decided it best if I keep it that way. Our lives had travelled down rather disparate paths and even though there were still small vestiges of the people we had been a few summers before we were different people.

In hindsight, I do believe we were the right people for each other at that point in our lives. We just didn't stay that way.

The 30 day Meme: Day 1 - Introduce yourself

2010-08-25T00:01:00.000-07:00

Please allow me to introduce myself, I am a man of wealth and taste... wait no, that's not me, that's the devil (at least according to Mick Jagger).

A long time ago in a galaxy far far away... no that's Luke Skywalker.

I am an enchanter. There are some who call me...Tim.... no that's not me either.

As far back as I can remember... no that was Henry Hill in Goodfellas.

Sorry, I mistook me for someone else... and that was Bruce Wayne (Michael Keaton) in Batman Returns.

Who am I? TWO-FOUR-SIX-OH-ONE... no, that was Jean Valjean.

It is I, Sydney Feldman... no that was some hitman in Grosse Point Blank crashing a high school class reunion.

John Jacob Jingleheimerschmitt, his name is my name too...

Now that we've determined several people who I'm not...

I was born in a small town in the heart of the Adirondack Mountains (Saranac Lake, NY) with a head of hair so blonde it was nearly white in the year of my nation's bicentennial. I was born into a sizable family of six. My eldest sister was a freshman in college. I also had 2 brothers and a sister in high school (a junior, sophomore, and freshman respectively), and then my other brother who, for twelve years, had been "the baby." A title he happily relinquished upon my birth.

The town I grew up in is located about an hour north of where I was born. It's best days had come and gone by the time I was born. Many say, and I tend to agree the turning point was when the railroad was taken out in the 1950s. While there were still vestiges of the town's heyday the signs of decay were starting to show. The town was also rather remote. The nearest major cities were Montreal, Quebec (about 70 miles north), Burlington, VT (about 100 miles southeast), and Ottawa, ON (about 100 miles northwest).

I've always been kind of mellow and laidback. I had a lot of acquaintances but only a small handful of friends. I've always been much more interested in the quality of my friendships than in the quantity of them. There are but a small handful of them I've kept in touch with all of these years. Although with facebook I have been able to re-connect with some old chums I'd fallen out of touch with. I've also, for much of my life been (according to those personality tests/quizzes) an INFP (Introverted, iNtuitive, Feeling, Perceiving) chap.

When I graduated high school in 1995 I opted for a complete change of scenery. I enrolled at Albion College in Albion, MI-- over 600 miles away from where I'd grown up. I wanted and needed a fresh start and the change of scenery gave me just that. I did spend my first summer in college back in my hometown, but with no job prospects I was smart enough to not return the following summer.

For the next two summers I was a seasonal employee at Cedar Point Amusement Park in Sandusky, OH. A job that despite the low wages and dull monotony I thoroughly enjoyed for the perks it provided (free access to the park when I wasn't on the clock during operating hours) and the people it brought me into contact with. People who go to amusement parks are generally in a good mood and that good mood can be quite infectious given the volume of people visiting the park on any given day.

I spent my final semester of college in Chicago participating in the Urban Life Center. I'd been to Chicago a few times before that and I loved the energy of the city. The Urban Life Center gave me a much deeper appreciation and familiarity with the city I never would have otherwise developed. My three months in that program passed all too quickly.

I moved back to my hometown for a few months after college. But with no real job prospects I opted to return to Cedar Point as a seasonal employee-- the idea being to try to get my foot in the door as a regular year-round employee of the park. After two seasons of that with no luck in obtaining a salaried position I moved to Elyria, OH and took a retail job in North Olmsted (suburban Cleveland) in part to be closer to the girl I was dating at the time. In the end that proved to be a poor decision on my part as that relationship fizzled literally within days of my relocation. And Elyria never got into my blood and under my skin the way Sandusky had. For about a year I spun my wheels and found myself stuck in a bit of a rut.

After about three to four months in Elyria I started corresponding via email, later phone calls with the lass who would someday become my wife... but that's another story.

In October 2002 I packed up my things and headed back to Chicago to have another stab at the other city that had gotten under my skin. I started a new chapter in my life that continues to this day. In the years since that fateful trip I've married, bought my first home, and become a father of a beautiful little girl.

To Be Continued (The 30 Day Meme: Day 2 - My First Love)

Teething

2010-08-24T12:07:00.000-07:00

The wee munchkin is cutting teeth again. As has been the case on previous ocassions she's developed a hint of a cold/mild fever. Last night she was suffering from some pretty serious sinus congestion. As a pacifier user that made for some serious sleeping difficulties. The poor little spudlet was awake at least once an hour every hour through the night. The wife & I took turns on getting up to settle her back down.

This morning while I was getting ready for work my wife brought her in and put her on the bed next to her. My wife told me later on that Sami woke up briefly about once every twenty minutes fussing before falling back asleep... she did that several times until about 8 am. When her head popped up like a jack in the box. She looked at my wife and said, "Hi Momma!" And at that point there's no use in trying to get her back to sleep. She's up and ready to start her day!

The 30 day Meme

2010-08-24T05:34:00.000-07:00

One of my online friends over on Livejournal (where I started all this blog craziness back in the summer of 2002) suggested I join her in doing a 30 day meme. I found the idea intriguing and considering I currently only really write either at my writer's group meetings or when I write reviews over on my music blog I'm hoping this will get me in the habit of writing with greater frequency. Today is just a "table of contents" of what is to come:

Day 01 – Introduce yourself
Day 02 – Your first love, in great detail
Day 03 – Your parents, in great detail
Day 04 – What you ate today, in great detail
Day 05 – Your definition of love, in great detail
Day 06 – Your day, in great detail
Day 07 – Your best friend, in great detail
Day 08 – A moment, in great detail
Day 09 – Your beliefs, in great detail
Day 10 – What you wore today, in great detail
Day 11 – Your siblings, in great detail
Day 12 – What’s in your bag, in great detail
Day 13 – This week, in great detail
Day 14 – What you wore today, in great detail
Day 15 – Your dreams, in great detail
Day 16 – Your first kiss, in great detail
Day 17 – Your favorite memory, in great detail
Day 18 – Your favorite birthday, in great detail
Day 19 – Something you regret, in great detail
Day 20 – This month, in great detail
Day 21 – Another moment, in great detail
Day 22 – Something that upsets you, in great detail
Day 23 – Something that makes you feel better, in great detail
Day 24 – Something that makes you cry, in great detail
Day 25 – A first, in great detail
Day 26 – Your fears, in great detail
Day 27 – Your favorite place, in great detail
Day 28 – Something that you miss, in great detail
Day 29 – Your aspirations, in great detail
Day 30 – One last moment, in great detail

Feel free to join me in this meme if the mood compels you. And if not, happy reading.

On Ken Follett

2010-08-18T12:08:00.000-07:00

One day in my high school library I picked up a book by Ken Follett, The Key to Rebecca. The cover jumped out at me-- a key in the shape of the Nazi swastika (excellent marketing on the part of the publisher). After reading and thoroughly enjoying The Key to Rebecca, I didn't merely read, I downright devoured just about every book Ken Follett wrote (even his first few that had initially been published under the pseudonym "Zachary Stone" and had only recently been republished with Follett's real name). To this day I consider him to be one of the best, if not the best of what one might classify as "the airport authors"-- you know the ones whose books you find at airport newsstands. They're thoroughly entertaining, but not exactly thought provoking reads with somewhat formulaic plots that after awhile start to feel a bit interchangeable.

I've read some Daniel Silva, some John Grisham, some David Baldacci, some Dan Brown and a few others whose names elude me. Their books were mildly entertaining but other than some of Grisham's earlier works-- none of them really left any impression with me. Their was a generic-ness to them that made them imminently forgettable-- the fast food of the publishing industry if you will.

So I do feel kind of bad lumping Ken Follett into such dubious company as his books are at least a step above most of the other writers I've just mentioned. There are a couple of his books I've read more than once and one I've actually read THREE times (A Dangerous Fortune). I can't say that for any of the other authors whose names I've mentioned. So that speaks to Follett's writing at a somewhat higher level than the authors who sit next to him in those airport newsstands.

In 1994 I embarked on a bit of a literary journey with Mr. Follett-- I started reading The Pillars of the Earth. It was (and I believe, still is) the longest book he's ever written. Recently Starz started airing an 8 part miniseries adaptation of Pillars of the Earth that has (at least thus far) been very entertaining and thoroughly enjoyable. The casting is exceptional-- Ian McShane as Waleran Bigod; Matthew McFadyen as Prior Phillip, Rufus Sewell as Tom Builder, and in a short cameo in the first two episodes Donald Sutherland as the Earl of Shiring.

The miniseries has been so good that I'm tempted to go back and re-read the book. It has been over 16 years since my last crack at it. From what I can tell the miniseries has been quite faithful to the book, but my memory of the book is hazy after all this time. I am curious to see if the miniseries really IS that faithful to the book or if my memory of the book-- as hazy as it is-- is being overly generous.

A few years ago Follett even penned a sequel, World Without End, set a couple hundred years after The Pillars of the Earth with a completely new cast of characters but the same setting as The Pillars of the Earth. The sequel while not quite as good as the original is still a thoroughly enjoyable read.

I do wonder if, based on the success of the Pillars of the Earth miniseries, a second miniseries will be done for World Without End. Time will tell, I guess.

Life imitating art?

2010-08-16T00:00:00.000-07:00

This weekend I experienced an instance of life imitating art somewhat-- no I didn't find myself in a well lit corner diner nor did I spend a Sunday afternoon on the Isle of Le Grande Jatte. No my experiences more closely resembled the events of my Premonition writing exercise.

I was at Home Depot with my daughter. I often bring her with me on my weekend errands just to give my wife a break and because I like having the little spudlet around. So we were looking for a new screw for the knob on our closet door. For some reason the screw for that particular closet door was/is about an eighth of an inch too short. So the knob never screws on tight and we're constantly pulling it off whenever we go to open that closet door.

So I have an associate helping me find what I'm looking for and I'm pushing my cart with one hand and holding my daughter in my other arm (she was getting fussy in the cart so I picked her up-- possibly a bad idea on my part... but she has Daddy wrapped around her little finger). Then I feel my left leg getting wet and notice that the little munchkins diaper had leaked. So I thanked the associate for his assistance, went and paid for my other purchases (one of which was a bottle of Sprite that my little sprite had been playing with before I'd removed her from the cart). So I get out to the car put my daughter in her car seat, get in the driver's seat and open my bottle in a re-enactment of Mt. Vesuvius vs. Pompeii... Suddenly not only were my shorts stained by my daughter's "leak" but my shirt, the steering wheel, and the driver's seat were also awash with Sprite.

When it rains, it really does pour.

The dangers of over-taxation of the wealthy

2010-08-13T13:24:00.000-07:00

A friend of mine shared the following tale with me for explaining how taxes work... I just wanted to share. I'm not sure where he got it from but I know I'd seen it before he shared it with me... Feel free to dissect, refute, and/or completely tear this apart if you like... I'm actually putting this "out there" because I'd like to generate some discussion:

Suppose that every day, ten men go out for dinner. The bill for all ten comes to $100. If they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it would go something like this:
The first four men, "the poorest" would pay nothing; the fifth would pay $1, the sixth would pay $3, the seventh $7, the eighth $12, the ninth $18, and the tenth man "the richest" would pay $59.

That's what they decided to do. The ten men ate dinner in the restaurant every day and seemed quite happy with the arrangement ? until one day, the owner threw them a curve (in tax language a tax cut).
"Since you are all such good customers," he said, "I'm going to reduce the cost of your daily meal by $20." So now dinner for the ten only cost $80.00.

The group still wanted to pay their bill the way we pay our taxes. So the first four men were unaffected. They would still eat for free. But what about the other six ? the paying customers? How could they divvy up the $20 windfall so that everyone would get his "fair share?"

The six men realized that $20 divided by six is $3.33. But if they subtracted that from everybody's share, Then the fifth man and the sixth man would end up being PAID to eat their meal. So the restaurant owner suggested that it would be fair to reduce each man's bill by roughly the same amount, and he proceeded to work out the amounts each should pay.
And so the fifth man paid nothing, the sixth pitched in $2, the seventh paid $5, the eighth paid $9, the ninth paid $12, leaving the tenth man with a bill of $52 instead of his earlier $59. Each of the six was better off than before. And the first four continued to eat for free.

But once outside the restaurant, the men began to compare their savings. "I only got a dollar out of the $20," declared the sixth man who pointed to the tenth. "But he got $7!"

"Yeah, that's right," exclaimed the fifth man, "I only saved a dollar, too . . . It's unfair that he got seven times more than me!".
"That's true!" shouted the seventh man, "why should he get $7 back when I got only $2? The wealthy get all the breaks!"

"Wait a minute," yelled the first four men in unison, "We didn't get anything at all. The system exploits the poor!"

The nine men surrounded the tenth and beat him up. The next night he didn't show up for dinner, so the nine sat down and ate without him. But when it came time to pay the bill, they discovered, a little late what was very important. They were FIFTY-TWO DOLLARS short of paying the bill! Imagine that!

And that, boys and girls, journalists and college instructors, is how the tax system works. The people who pay the highest taxes get the most benefit from a tax reduction. Tax them too much, attack them for being wealthy, and they just may not show up at the table anymore.

Your thoughts?

2010-08-09T13:12:00.000-07:00

I'm a bookworm... I have been since I first learned to read. For about six years in the middle of the 'aughts I worked for a college bookstore chain and thus had access to several advance reader galleys. The nice thing about these galleys was that I was exposed to authors and books I had not previously been aware of, not to mention some of which I was aware of but hadn't taken the time to read beforehand.

So I read, and read, and read some more. I also befriended some of the book buyers. We'd share book and author recommendations which even further expanded the breadth of books I'd read.

Below is a "best of" of sorts of the best books and/or authors I read and enjoyed during my six years with my prior employer:

Shantaram by Gregory David Roberts: A semi-autobiographical door-stop debut novel. An escaped Aussie convict on a forged New Zealand passport sneaks into Mumbai, India. The books starts when he lands in India and follows his life, his adventures, and misadventures living on the lam in Mumbai. This is currently being made into a movie with Johnny Depp cast in the lead. At over 900 pages I have no idea how they can condense this book into three hours, let alone an hour and a half. The book could have benefitted from some editing as at times it feels like Roberts is trying too hard to be flowery with his prose. But the story is thoroughly enjoyable and the book is a bona-fide page-turner despite its sizable girth.

Adam Davies: I read three of Davies' novels that were published between 2002 and 2008. The Frog King which is being made into a movie was mediocre at best. The main character was eminently unlikable which made it difficult to continue reading about someone I really didn't like or care for. It was Davies debut though and I did like his style of writing. Goodbye Lemon was a substantial improvement over The Frog King the main character was still somewhat unlikable, however his motivations were a bit more understandable and thus I was able to generate a bit of empathy for him despite his obvious flaws. In the end I found it enjoyable because I felt it succeeded where The Frog King had failed. It got me to care about someone I really wouldn't normally have cared about in a real life setting. Mine All Mine was the most unusual of Davies books. The main character was a security guard who had developed a tolerance for various poisons and developing tolerances for new poisons was his hobby. The plot hinges on being duped by a master thief whom he knows little about and the downfall his life suffers after being duped by said thief. It's a crime-caper novel of sorts but not in the traditional sense. I enjoyed it for it's uniqueness. I can honestly say I've never read any other books quite like it and doubt I ever will (unless Davies writes a follow-up).

Dave Eggers: I read both his brilliant memoir, A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius and his debut novel You Shall Know Our Velocity. His talent was/is undeniable. Both books were enjoyable to read but I repeatedly had the feeling that Eggers was trying to mess with my head a bit. He included a section in the paperback version if You Shall Know Our Velocity that wasn't in the hardcover version which caused me to call into question the rest of the book... It's kind of like when you see a director's cut of the movie and think to yourself, the original version was actually better than the director's cut. I appreciate what he was trying to do, but I'm not sure he quite pulled it off.

Theodore Dreiser: We received a galley of a new printing of Sister Carrie which I read and enjoyed so I went out and bought a copy of An American Tragedy which I absolutely loved! I'd argue that Sister Carrie was one of the first "feminist" novels written by a male author. I'd also argue the book was well ahead of its time. While Carrie would have been seen as a bit of a hero and a champion of women striking out on their own and earning their own living during the peak of the women's lib movement at the time the book was written she was viewed more as an amoral anti-hero who uses her feminine wiles on men to advance her station in life. I've read that Carrie was based on a school teacher in Chicago that he'd dated at the turn of the century. An American Tragedy was set in the fictional city of Lycurgus, NY (loosely based on Utica, NY) and was based on an actual murder in the Adirondack Mountains in 1906. The main character, Clyde Griffiths, was based on Chester Gillette who killed his pregnant girlfriend by drowning on Blue Mountain Lake. The book was made made into 2 movies. The original movie released in the early 30s followed the book somewhat closely. In the early 50s a new version, A Place In the Sun, was released following the same plot but set in the then present day instead of the twenties starring Montgomery Clift, Shelley Winters, & Elizabeth Taylor. Woody Allen ~~borrowed~~ plagiarized somewhat heavily from A Place In the Sun for his film, Match Point. The book is better than any of the films that were based on it. But of those films, A Place In the Sun is easily the best. It really captures the feel of the book and it gets Dreiser's point across far better than Woody Allen's Match Point.

The Sun Also Rises: In high school I had to read Hemmingway's For Whom the Bell Tolls. I didn't care for it at all. After a discussion with some of my then co-workers I decided to give Hemmingway another try at my leisure as opposed to having it shoved down my throat. The experience was much much more enjoyable. After reading The Sun Also Rises I came to the conclusion that there's a certain level of emotional or life experience one should have to fully enjoy Hemmingway's writing. As a high school student in an all too small town I didn't yet have the level of emotional experience needed to really appreciate Hemmingway. However in my late twenties when I had another crack at him, I'd apparently lived enough to have a bit more understanding and appreciation for what his characters were going through. I was considerably more sympathetic to Jake Barnes than I had been to Robert Jordan.

This Side of Paradise and The Beautiful and the Damned by F. Scott Fitzgerald: In my junior year of high school I read The Great Gatsby and actually quite enjoyed it. I've always had an affection for the Roaring Twenties (perhaps I experienced them in a previous life) and honestly if time travel were possible and I could go back to any era. The Roaring Twenties would be at the top of my list. We received a couple of galleys of Fitzgerald's work towards the end of my stint with my prior employer that I in turn read after I'd moved on. As much as I enjoyed The Great Gatsby I preferred Fitzgerald's debut, This Side of Paradise. Where The Great Gatsby is a classic novel, I'd argue it's largely because of how well and accurately it captured the Roaring Twenties. This Side of Paradise on the other hand has a timelessnes to it. While the setting has changed there are still Amory Blaines in the world and I'd argue that there was something universally human about Blaine that made him a bit easier to relate to than Nick Carraway or Jay Gatsby. The Beautiful and the Damned is also rather timeless in nature. The sense of entitlement that Fitzgerald portrays for the upper class of the twenties has in years since flooded down to the middle class creating not merely a sense of, but a general culture of entitlement that makes The Beautiful and the Damned arguably even more universally pertinent than when it was written.

Vacation

2010-08-02T16:01:00.000-07:00

On Thursday July 22nd my wife, daughter, & I left on a family vacation out east. The original plan was to go as far as my brother's in Fort Wayne that afternoon (about a 4 hour drive) and then on to my sister's place in Rochester, NY on Friday and finish the drive up to my parents on Saturday the 24th.

Plans rarely work out the way you expect. We made it to Fort Wayne by about eight or eight thirty. We ate our dinner and I fed my daughter (unbeknownst to me it was Gerber prunes which would not bode well for the rest of the journey) and tried to get my daughter to go to sleep.... She wasn't having it. My brother wasn't home but he'd left us with the combo to his garage door. Thus his A.C. units had not been on for awhile and while merely hot and humid outside, it was generally unbearable inside. Between the heat and humidity, the strange surroundings, and the lack of padding in her pack 'n' play sleep was not about to embrace our little munchkin.

We gave it until 12:30. If she wasn't asleep by then, we'd get up shower and hit the road to Rochester and possibly on to my parents place. She wasn't asleep at 12:30. So we showered, re-packed the car, gassed up, coffee'd up (is that a legit term? If not, it is now, I'm taking it!) and by the time we hit the road it was about one-thirty. I took the first leg.

As is my tendency-- and honestly I'm not sure where I get this from-- I kept pushing my leg farther and farther allowing my wife to sleep more. Initially we were planning to switch drivers every 2 hours. I continued driving through most of Ohio. We stopped for gas somewhere between Euclid and Ashtabula (just east of Cleveland) sometime between five-thirty and six a.m.

My wife took over for awhile, we got through the rest of Ohio, a little snippet of Pennsylvania and into New York State where we stopped for breakfast before continuing on. I took the driving back over after breakfast. I saw the exit for my sister's place coming up... she wasn't home either so I just kept on driving until we made it to a rest stop and switched again. My wife took over driving for a short spell and got us as far as the I-90/I-81 interchange when we switched again.

The worst part of this journey is the last 100 miles/two hours or so. Once you get off I-81 it's all two lane roads for the rest of the trip. It's part of the reason why my wife & I usually drive through Canada instead (going through Canada only the last 45 minutes or so are on two lane roads, as opposed to the last 2 hours). After zooming along at around 75-80 for the lion's share of the journey the last 2 hours at anywhere from 30-65 mph is painfully slow. I'd go so far as to say those last two hours almost seem longer than the entire rest of the journey.

We finally pulled in to my parents driveway at about 5:15 pm Friday night. Somewhat road weary and exhausted. The house was full. My sister and her husband were napping before going to her 30 year class reunion, my brother (the one from Fort Wayne whose house we'd left at 1:30 am the same day) was there with his family. They were preparing to leave at 3 am for their return trip (the rest of us are still trying to figure out the logic on that). And my nephew and his family were there as well. We had planned to crash there that night but the house was quite full.

After talking with my recently awakened sister we determined there were free beds in her camper at the campground where my parents were also staying (Meacham Lake) as she and her husband were planning on crashing at my parents that night. So we got back in the car and drove up to camp to see and surprise the rest of my family who weren't expecting us for another day. We figured after about 16 hours of travel (thanks to frequent stops for food and diaper changes-- the latter of which we had more stops than anticipated thanks to Samantha's dessert the night before) what's another half hour?

So we pulled into the campground bedraggled and road weary and snuck into my parents site to surprise them. It was their first time seeing Sami since she was 3 months old. Needless to say she's changed considerably and developed quite a personality since then. For my sister, brother, and sister-in-law it was their first time ever seeing Sami. And the last time my brother-in-law had seen Samantha (he was in town on business shortly after she was born and stayed overnight on his trip) she was just over two weeks old.

Ever since an unfortunate incident getting knocked over by a yellow Lab several months ago, my daughter has been quite skittish around all dogs regardless of size and/or temperment. This was something we knew going into this trip and something we were a bit wary of considering my parents' Beagle, my brother's two Golden Retrievers, my sister's two Poodles, and my other brother's Pug. Luckily my other sister had sent her Airedale home early with her son who had to cut his vacation short to get back to work before we got there and my other brother was at my parents' house with his wife's toy poodle and his Labradoodle. Oh and my nephew had left his Great Dane at home (although I think with a saddle and riding lessons, Samantha would have been fine with Gizmo). Initially Samantha was quite clingy and fussy around the dogs but as the week progressed her skittishness subsided and she grew increasingly more comfortable-- first with my brother's Golden Retrievers and later with my sister's poodles, and finally with my parents' Beagle (once she learned Ginger's bark/howl/baying was far worse than her bite).

After some nice hot showers and dinner we finally went to bed. Our exhausted little one literally fell asleep in Toni's arms as we were visiting my sister and brother-in-law in their camper. That night all three of us slept like logs. Samantha woke up disoriented a few times but was quick to fall back asleep.

Saturday we largely took it easy and relaxed after all of the driving the day before. We visited and caught up with family and eventually drove back to my parents place for the night so we could join my parents for church the next morning (and give my mom a chance to show off her youngest granddaughter). Just 'cause that's the way we roll, yo!

Sunday evening following Sami's nap we returned to camp for Sami's third first birthday party (she had 2 b-day parties in June). She attacked her smash cake with great vigor and tremendous aplomb (if that's possible) before I took her into the lake and dunked her to wash off all the icing that hadn't quite made it into her mouth. She spent the next several hours on a sugar rush before literally collapsing in my aunt's camper at about 10:30 pm.

Monday we helped my parents and aunt break camp before making the rounds and spending time with my siblings in their respective campsites and then got together with my nephew and his family for a trip up Whiteface Mtn...

We stopped briefly in Saranac Lake at Jreck's (a northern NY sub chain that is leaps and bounds better than Subway. If you're ever in Northern NY I highly recommend seeking out a Jreck's) before continuing on to Whiteface. At about 4:08 we pulled up to the tollbooth at Whiteface Mountain to read a sign that indicated the road was closed for the day. Hours of operation were 9-4. D'oh! So back down the mountain we went with Sami crying (as she'd never experienced having her ears pop before that). Back down to Lake Placid where we sated my nephews 2 sons with a quick round of mini-golf before continuing back to the campground.

On Tuesday we met up with my nephew and his wife again and went to Lake Placid as a five-some (my brother and sis-in-law opted to take the boys for a day). It was great to bond and play catch-up with my "little brother-like" nephew. We hadn't seen each other in over three years and for a couple of guys who had been inseperable for several summers in the late eighties and into the early nineties we picked up right where we'd left off. While we did some shopping and grabbed a long quick meal (the food was great and we ate it quickly but the service was tremendously slow and thus the meal turned from forty-five minutes to an hour into two hours)

Wednesday we laid low for much of the day. I got in touch with an old high school friend that I hadn't seen or spoken to since my high school graduation party back in 1995. We took a trip out to see my grandparent's old sugar shack. My grandfather made maple syrup from the maple trees on his property for several years (long before I was born). In the years since my grandfather's passing in 1984 his sugar shack had long since fallen into disrepair. In recent years my aunt has cleaned up and renovated the shack and turned it into a bit of a wilderness retreat-- quite a feat considering how far off the beaten path my aunt already is. Wednesday evening my old high school chum stopped by for a visit. I introduced him to my wife and daughter and we talked for awhile, shared pictures, caught up with one another and shared stories of what's happened to the various classmates we've kept in touch with.

Thursday it was back to Lake Placid, this time with my parents. As much as I love the scenery where I'm from, barring a now-required passport or passport card there's not much to do other than spend time in the Adirondacks. My passport expired in September 09 and I'm yet to renew. After this trip, I decided I need to bite the bullet and renew my passport so on our next trip out East we can do a day trip out to Ottawa, Montreal, or possibly Parc Safari. My wife's exposure to Canada has been somewhat negative-- unclean rest stops along the 401, Toronto traffic,Trudeau (formerly Dorval) airport in Montreal, and a few bites from a plate of Poutine (a French-Canadian dish featuring cheese curds melted onto French Fries with piping hot beef gravy. Personally I enjoy it in small doses but it's a bit too unhealthy and heavy for my wife's palate). I'd like to introduce her to some of the more positive things that Canada has to offer (and growing up 11 miles from the NY/Quebec border I've grown to know and love many of those things) like the old city in Montreal, just about all of Ottawa (which I prefer over Montreal, but that's just me), the Rick Mercer Report (the Canadian equivalent of Jon Stewart/The Daily Show), and perhaps even the Dini Petty Show (is that even still on the air?)

We left on Friday morning with a scheduled stop in Erie, PA (which works out to be almost exactly halfway between Chicago and my parents home when traveling through the US, I believe the halfway point when traveling through Canada is a stretch of the 401 somewhere between Windsor and London Ontario).

Phew, pardon me while I catch my breath.

"Everything she liked was either illegal, immoral, or fattening" (writing exercise)

2010-07-18T14:23:00.000-07:00

Everything she liked was either illegal, immoral, or fattening. Some of the things she liked were all of the above. For some reason she'd conveniently left this crucial information off of her online dating profile.

I was trying to maintain my svelte two-hundred fifty-eight pound, five foot eleven inch figure so I took personal offense to her love of all things fattening. I was trying to drop the weight. I don't see the one-hundred seventy pounds I listed so much a lie as a personal goal.

I didn't mind that she suffered from a mild case of kleptomania. It saved me a lot of money on dates after all. She may have been immoral but she was really good at it and that's something. Isn't it? I mean we all have to be good at something.

Our first date was at a coffee house and she'd somehow managed to procure two super large white chocolate Macadamia Nut cookies from behind the glass (hey, I told you she was good!) before I arrived.

On our second date we went out for German food. I never realized there were so many different types of delicious sausage before that night and the latkes we had as an appetizer had been deep fried. . . in bacon grease.

As our dates progressed I noticed my weight creeping further away from my goal. I knew I had to draw the line somewhere. But other than the issue with the fattening foods and my rapdily escalating weight and rapidly decreasing health (not that it was great to begin with) we got along famously.

I loved her red hair. When she'd fall asleep in my arms while watching TV I'd start looking for constellations in her adorable freckles. I wasn't sure whether or not to be alarmed when I noticed Orion the hunter on her left arm. In the end I let it go though.

I'm still wondering why she never made issue of the discrepancy between the weight listed in my profile and the reality. I let that go as well. She was willing to forgive my wishful thinking and goal-setting. Who was I to nitpick about her extra-cirricular shoplifting and her wholly unhealthy diet. The difference between us, she could get away with it. She had the kind of metabolism where she could burn off a jelly donut and a four egg omelet between the breakfast table and the loo. I honestly don't know where it all went as her body lied far more about her diet than she actually did.
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The prompt was a framed vintage ad that read simply "Everything she liked was either illegal, immoral, or fattening." While I wasn't inspired by the picture on the ad, I was inspired by the text.

Premonition (writing exercise)

2010-07-09T14:28:00.000-07:00

As soon as I see the flashing red and blue lights in my rearview mirror, I have a premonition... I'm about to get a speeding ticket. It's almost like that time I spilled a glass of water on my pants at work and had a premonition that I'd theretofore be THAT guy. I'd have to tell people that no, I did not have an accident, that I merely spilled a glass of water... but despite my protestations I would endure a barrage of playful ribbing about my bladder control or lack thereof.

But now, here I am, about to get pulled over. I KNOW I'm about to get a ticket and all I can think about is how I ended up with the nickname "Puddles" and how wouldn't it be ironic if this time I actually earned the nickname.

So I start thinking about deserts, towels and other things that are dry. Anything at all to prevent my premonition and my history from colliding in some weird karmic way that will end up with a speeding ticket and a trip to the local car wash to have my driver's seat shampooed. Heaven forbid my friends find out as then I'll forever be known as "Puddles." Oh and this time I'll actually have legitimately earned the nickname!

*TAP*TAP* The officer gently knocks on my window.

"License and proof of insurance, please."

"What seems to be the problem, officer?"

"Do you have any idea how fast you were going?" I wonder if the officer realizes that yes actually I DO know exactly how fast I was going, that I DO realize I was speeding. Figuring I have nothing to lose, I decide to play the honesty card.

"Yes, I was going approximately twenty miles over the speed limit."

"Yes that sounds about right." The officer replies somewhat surprised with my honesty. "Is there a reason you felt the speed limit did not apply to you this afternoon, sir?"

"Oh I know it applies to me the same as everyone, but please officer could we please move this along? I understand I deserve the speeding ticket but if we keep talking I'm not only going to have to pay for the speeding ticket and probably a larger insurance bill every month for the next few years, but I'll also be spending the rest of my life known as Puddles."

He didn't need to know that I already had earned that nickname through no fault of my own.

The officer looks at me quizzically. I'm not sure if it's that my face is red and grimacing in pain from holding it far longer than I anticipated needing to do so or if it has to do with my unconventional responses to his questions. At this point I don't care about the ticket. I just want to find the nearest McDonald's, Gas Station, shrubbery, potted plant... whatever, wherever I can end this torture.

The Spanish Inquisitors have nothing on this guy. He's taking his time. I still can't tell if he gets it, if he really understands what I'm going through right now or if he's really that oblivious. With some people it really is difficult to tell.

He walks back to his car... And I'm sure it's just my imagination but he seems to be walking especially slow and his car for some reason seems to be about 100 yards further away from mine than it was when he first pulled me over.

I turn the radio back on while I wait. I try to pay attention to the radio, to the birds in the trees, to anything but the unbearable pressure.

Then I check my rearview mirror... Is he flossing his teeth? Is that a can of Barbasol? Is he about to shave?

Eventually he gets out of his car and I feel like a dam about to burst. He has my driver's license and proof of insurance in one hand and a disposable razor in the other hand and a towel around his neck!

My seat starts getting a little wetter and the pressure rapidly subsides.

"I'm going to let you off with a warning this time, Mr. Puddles-" he stifles a laugh as he dabs some shaving cream off his cheek with his towel, "but be more mindful of your speed in the future." He hands me my license and proof of insurance and walks away red in the face, tears rolling down his cheeks and a deep belly laugh.

I almost wish he'd just given me a damn ticket.
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Write about a premonition. I lost what I'd originally written from this prompt. The first 2 paragraphs were re-written from memory... and the rest of it is where I went with the story after my writer's group.

Rant inspired on asphalt...

2010-07-02T10:37:00.000-07:00

On my way from the parking lot to my office this morning I noticed the vehicle parked next to mine had a dreamcatcher hanging from the rear view mirror. It got me thinking, "I don't like having bad dreams when I sleep either, but generally that's not an issue when I'm DRIVING MY CAR!"

But then again, this is Chicago and expressways have been known to magically transform into parking lots for any litany of reasons... and sometimes for no reason at all. Why not take a cat-nap at 5:15 pm when you zoom onto the Reagan (I-88, formerly known as the East-West Tollway) and come to a screeching, grinding halt!

This generally isn't an issue for me as my commute is short enough that taking the expressway would actually take me LONGER to get home than taking side-streets and back roads and what not. I barely get a chance to listen to my favorite radio talk shows (Big John & Amy Jacobsen on WIND in the mornings and Roe & Roeper in the afternoons on WLS) in the short time it takes me to get to and from work.

Yesterday, my company threw a small picnic for my department as thanks for a strong first half of the year despite a challenging market. On the way over I was listening to one of my syndicated talk radio favorites-- Dennis Miller (which given when he's on, I RARELY get to do any more). Dennis wasn't on though... I mean his show was, but he had a guest host... That's a normal practice in the world of talk radio, but what threw me for a loop was WHO it was.... SCOTT BAIO! Chachi (or was it Bob Loblaw?-- Arrested Development fans will get that) was doing conservative talk radio! I checked my rearview mirror to see if I'd driven through some strange wormhole into an alternate dimension and not realized it and pinched myself to ensure I wasn't having a strange dream (I have a dreamcatcher at home, but it's in my closet and not really keeping out the bad/strange dreams. Although the "straight" men I have living in there claim they haven't had any nightmares about THOSE silk curtains with THAT window treatment since they moved in-- so the dreamcatcher is working for someone at least). I half expected at that moment, that if I were to turn on the Home Shopping Network I'd find myself watching Erin Moran selling knick-knacks on "Joanie Loves Tschotchkies"

In fairness to Chachi, I gave him a chance. And he was holding his own. He was doing a better job than some of the other substitute radio hosts I've heard over the years (especially former Illinois guv, His Hairness, Rod Blagojevich)... I don't know if that speaks to Mr. Baio displaying a talent I didn't realize he had or possibly to the talent pool from which he was fished for this particular subbing gig.

Speaking of His Hairness-- it seems he was a bit of a clothes-horse. Racking up over $200,000 in debt from buying CLOTHES! He was spending more on his wardrobe than on food or child care. And he was using taxpayer money to do so. SOOOO, in the interests of the punishment fitting the crime, I think all of Rod's expensive suits should be donated to men collecting unemployment so they have something to wear to job interviews-- since those suits likely led Illinois to have one of the highest unemployment rates in the US... those suits should be used to put the people back to work that Rod indirectly put out of work with his frivolous spending habits. Just a thought... And I'm sure Patti Blagojevich has some nice professional looking dresses she could donate to out of work women. Oh and while we're at it, the state of Illinois deserves a refund from the hairstylist who convinced Rod to sport THAT 'do for all of the haircuts he paid for on our dime.

A case of "The Fridays?"

2010-06-18T10:46:00.000-07:00

You know that sheen of exhaustion your eyes sometimes get, they feel dry and tired and you're only comfortable when they're closed which is quite unfortunate because the rest of you happens to be wide awake either naturally or due to some chemical assistance?

Yeah that's about where I've been the past two days. Although yesterday my body was, for some reason, a bit exhausted as well. I got home from work and my head felt rather displaced. As if my brain was floating several feet above my body and trying to escape.

Luckily, I don't get this way that often. And this morning, while my eyes were begging to remain closed even as my alarm clock was going off, my body did seem to have a little more pep to it than yesterday (perhaps a case of "The Fridays"). So, in the shower I left my eyes closed as much as possible to give them a little extra break. It was no big deal as I tend to shave in the shower by touch anyway so the rest wasn't much of a stretch.

The thing I like about this time of morning is relaxing my brain and just letting it go off on its own wild tangents. It's a similar mental state to when you're just starting to fall asleep and your mind is kind of drifting with the mental current. The big difference being that at this hour you're awake enough to actually remember many of the random thoughts that are being pushed along that river of thought.

Over the years some of the ideas and thoughts that have drifted through my mind have included:

The Reuben Burrito - corned beef, sauerkraut, swiss cheese, and Thousand Island dressing wrapped in a "rye" tortilla (with Carraway seeds).-- I'm still yet to find "Rye tortillas"-- perhaps there's an untapped market here.

NACL - A pro cricket league here in North America featuring teams from the US, Canada and Mexico. Unfortunately due to cricket never really catching on here, I don't think this one has legs.

A year ago...

2010-06-02T00:01:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was my daughter's first birthday. As such it conjured all manner of flashbacks to last year:

My wife was induced on the evening of May 31st last year. We had our dinner and went to the hospital as scheduled. We watched Game 2 of the Stanley Cup finals from her hospital room. The initial drugs were given but no labor... until the morning of June 1st.

After waiting all day with little or no dilation, at 7 pm my wife's OB showed up and indicated that with such little progress on the dilation front it was time for a C-section.

So I tossed on some scrubs and was led to the recovery room while my wife was prepped for her C-section. By the time my wife was finally brought in to be prepped for surgery, it was almost 8pm. Her parents and sister were in the waiting room. I was dressed to the nines (if you consider hospital scrubs to be chic that is!) and waiting patiently to be summoned to sit by my wife and offer my support during her surgery.

In the OR, I was glad I had the scrubs on. it was downright chilly in there. The scrubs didn't breathe. They held in my body heat. About 4-5 minutes after being brought in I heard a cry. My wife & I had opted to NOT find out the gender. So the doc asked me if I wanted to be the one to tell my wife what we had. The doc instructed me to stand up so I could see over the curtain and pried my poor cold child's legs apart.

From the moment I laid eyes on her I was a goner. She had me wrapped around her little finger already.

One of the nurses cleaned her up and handed her to me so I could introduce her to her mommy quickly before my daughter & I were rushed into the recovery room so the doc could put the missus all back together.

I remember her eyes were open and looking up at me. We'd narrowed the list of possible names for girls down to two. Samantha and Olivia. I tried both names out on her... Every time I tried to call her Olivia she started bawling at me. Every time I called her Samantha she calmed down. She'd chosen her own name.

Over the past year I've watched her firsts... First bath, first haircut, first time in the car, first time crawling, first teeth (she seems to get 2 at a time). I've relished the joy and wonder in her eyes as she sees things for the first time.

As she grows older I look forward to watching more of her firsts and grasp as frantically as I might to the sands of time to slow them down a bit. The past year has flown and I know that time will only pass faster as she grows older.

Egalitarianism and Multiculturalism/Diversity

2010-05-17T00:01:00.000-07:00

As those who read here regularly have likely surmised, I'm a rather dyed in the wool libertarian of the Freidrich Hayek and Milton Freidman schools of thought. The only semblance of egalitarianism that I agree with is equality of opportunity. That is to say, contrary to popular belief-- we aren't equal. We're far from it. We all have our individual motivations, ambitions, and drives, it's these differences that make us who we are, that make us strong. And contrary to popular belief this country wasn't founded on the belief that we're all equal, but that we're granted by our creator the equal right and equal access to the opportunity to better ourselves as individuals. As you can see there's quite a difference between that and egalitarianism.

The odd thing is there's a bit of a paradox with liberal thought-- two of its cornerstone principles are contradictory-- egalitarianism and diversity. On one hand, by this philosophy, we are all equal, but we're all different and need to respect one another's differences. One would think, and I'm hoping this isn't too far outside the box-- that those who truly believe in egalitarianism embrace it not in part but in whole... and in embracing egalitarianism in whole wouldn't that mean one should focus on his/her similarities with other cultures... Rather than embracing our differences with those who are different, wouldn't it serve us better to embrace our similarities? It's great to understand and respect one's culture, but diversity and multicultralism by their nature focus on differences and respecting differenes with other cultures. It's rather divisive in nature as it doesn't carry with it the corollary responsibility to embrace the similarities we share with other cultures. As such, by embracing multiculturalism and diversity in this country-- we've become much less a "melting pot" and much more a "salad bowl." The various different cultures that make up this country don't melt into one another, they remain distinct and separate from one another-- basically our differences keep us divided as a culture and a nation. It also tends to perpetuate a bit of a xenophobia. Wouldn't it be easier to understand and respect our differences if we saw each other as people-- as mothers, fathers, sons, daughters, brothers, and sisters? Instead the focus is so firmly entrenched in diversity that we focus on that which makes us different-- creating arguing factions rather than a cohesive and peaceful whole. It's much easier to perpetuate hate when you're so entrenched in how others are different. It makes it tremendously easier to villify those who hold opposing thought.

Now back to libertarianism... we all have ambitions and drives, we're similar in that regard. In that lies our equality. Granted for each of us those ambitions are distinct and different. Life is not a zero sum game. Those who advance in life do so by their own ambition. Just because someone advances in life it's not always at the expense of someone else. A common misconception. If we respect that innate drive and ambition in ourselves and recognize that as our common bond, might we not be more apt to respect one another? Instead of being a constant cultural battle of rich vs. poor, black vs. white, have vs. have not shouldn't we be co-existing as rich and poor, black and white, have and have not?

"You are standing in a doorway..." (writing exercise)

2010-05-06T00:01:00.000-07:00

You are standing in a doorway. It feels almost like an Edward Hopper painting. The bright light from inside casts a warm glow on the car lined street. From the glow you could almost read the license plates-- that is if you had better eyesight.

If you were in a classic movie this is the part where you'd light a cigarette and slip into the shadows to share secrets with Jimmy Cagney types. But there's nothing quite so glamorous here. Life is not film noir.

You're in the doorway with light fading and casting shadows outside. There's more than a slight chill painting a scent of fresh air against your nose. You're sure you're creating a draft, but not sure you really care. The wait will be over soon and you feel paralyzed by the ambivalence-- torn between the sense of finality and the hope for a new start.

Things ended months ago. You're about to make a fresh start but not until these last few loose ends get tied up. You suppose you should be angry. For some reason you're not. When all is said and done life is just too short to carry a grudge. Besides she couldn't help that her feelings for you had changed any more than you could help that yours hadn't. But that was then. You'd both since moved on. For you at first, reluctantly. You were the jilted one after all. For her it came a bit easier.

Enough time had passed that the fog of numbness had lifted. You'd started seeing someone else, long distance. In a few weeks you'll be joining her. Then you can close this chapter of your life, completely.

But here you still stand in the doorway waiting for this ghost from the past to arrive, to give just a little more closure. Truth be told, as long as you've stayed here you've remained tethered, albeit increasingly more loosely to the past.

When she arrives, you're taken aback. She's blonde. The whole time the two of you had dated she'd been a redhead.

"I dyed it red but we've spent so much time outside this summer the sun bleached it." She noticed your curious expression. A pregnant "we" had been uttered, insinuating all manner of new familiarities and intimacies.

There's an awkwardness hanging in the air as you invite her in. It all seemed so stiff and formal after the intimacy the two of you had once shared. You know that your new girlfriend is understanding of the situation, even if she's not exactly happy about it. You're guessing the new boyfriend involved shares your girlfriend's sentiments. As the two of you share idle chatter and small talk it's evident neither of your respective others have anything to worry about. The cordiality and friendliness is present but the heat that had once burned between the two has completely burned out.

It's not like old times, more like ships passing in the night. The two of you wishing each other well as your lives continue on their divergent paths.

So you show her to the door and part with a friendly but vacant hug before she walks away. Once you pack and are on your way you know you'll finally be able to shake this feeling of a life lived in limbo. Your heart was already packed and shipped to its new location. Now it was time for the rest of you to join it.
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This is the product of an exercise from my writer's group. Write a story with "You are standing in a doorway" as an opening line or just write a story about standing in a doorway.

Music is a warm blanket

2010-05-03T00:01:00.000-07:00

This past weekend I was driving down the road, Chicago 17 blasting out of my car stereo. Next thing I knew I was eleven years old and "discovering" Chicago for the first time all over again. My life has changed substantially since then-- friends have come and gone, relatives have passed away, I've relocated nearly 900 miles away from where I grew up, been in love a few times, had my heart broken nearly as many, even managed to break a heart myself, gotten married, and now the latest turn on my life's journey-- fatherhood.

But in all that mileage of the twenty plus years of life since I initially "discovered" Chicago (back when my allowance started taking a sharp shift away from toys and towards music) they have been my beacon, my compass, and my warm blanket. It's that music from those early formative years of my life starting in my late "tweens" that has been my constant.

It's little wonder than when the chips are down and things aren't going well that I find tremendous comfort in their music-- especially those albums from the eighties that came out during those still innocent days of my youth.

This past weekend was no different. Without going into detail I've hit a bit of a rough patch and there are some days when it gets me down a bit more than others. So I popped in a CD that is much more an old friend to me than it is a mere piece of music. And, for a few minutes at least, I was a young carefree eleven year old and I was falling in love with that music for the first time all over again. And in spite of my troubles of late, I was able to find my smile again. My smile is also a friend, but one that has visited far less frequently of late. It was good to see him again.

Human bones = teething rings?

2010-04-27T07:26:00.000-07:00

My daughter is part vampire or perhaps zombie or cannibal... or maybe my clavicle and collar bone are actually teething rings. If she develops an inexplicable unwavering desire to shop at IKEA I'll know she's a zombie (it's an obscure Christopher Moore reference-- read The Stupidest Angel for full explanation). If she develops an addiction to Spam-- well that would indicate cannibalistic tendencies (another Christopher Moore reference-- read Island of the Sequined Love Nun for full explanation). But she hasn't shown an aversion to sunlight and she's been sleeping through the night since she was about 6 weeks old so I don't think she's a vampire. I am concerned that once she's learned to walk and is out of her crib I'll wake up in the night in extreme pain and find her gnawing on my shoulder like a dog to a nice meaty bone.

The one thing I have learned is it's rather difficult to discipline 10 month olds. She laughs at my wife & I when we tell her "NO!" And she's got that adorable grin that is just too infectious so we end up laughing at her laughing at us... a vicious cycle.

She has started solid foods, but I'm really hoping that she doesn't have any plans to add "the long pig" to her personal menu (again read Island of the Sequined Love Nun for further explanation).

The Fringes legitimize the middle

2010-04-07T22:57:00.000-07:00

During the rather bitter 2004 Presidential election I recall reading what I considered to be a rather wise and somewhat non-partisan article. Unfortunately, I forgot who wrote it and where it appeared (I believe it may have been The Wall St. Journal, which admittedly leans a bit to the right) but the writer stated that the acrimony that exists between those on the right and those on the left is largely due to those on the right-- whether they realize it or not-- having an air of moral superiority and those on the left having an air of intellectual superiority.

To put it a bit more bluntly it comes down to whatever those on the left say, the people on the right hear, "If you don't agree with me you're a stupid boorish cad. I feel sorry for you, but it's okay I know what's best for you." And no matter what people on the right say, many on the left just hear, "You are immoral heathen scum but we can help you save your soul."

I'd have to agree with the author of the article in that until we can get past our conceits and really admit we have those conceits about our own beliefs we won't be able to actually discuss WHY we believe what we believe. We'll just keep getting stuck fighting over why our beliefs are right and those of the opposition are wrong.

If people actually sat down and discussed respectfully and civilly the reasons and motivations behind their beliefs and why they have the beliefs they do we may be surprised to find a bit more common ground than we might otherwise have thought.

One of the best teachers I ever had, a high school history teacher once said that the fringes legitimize the middle. The trouble is that both parties have allowed the fringes to become the mouthpieces of their respective parties and thus created further division and acrimony. I'd argue that most Americans are moderates. Yes we lean a bit to the left here and a bit to the right there but for the most part our beliefs and ideas aren't too divergent from each other.

The Articles of Confederation which predated our Constitution were rigid and in order to effect change the unanimous vote of representatives of all 13 states was required. Our Constitution was born out of the failure of that rigidity. It was born out of compromise.

But now, guided largely by the rigid and unflinching voices of the extreme left and right our elected officials have largely forgotten the lost art of compromise. In letting our own worst elements and most divisive voices guide us a general air of acrimony has festered and grown. Yes, it is largely a product of the Internet which has allowed those on the fringes to gather and organize and thus amplify their voices. But the fringes have to amplify their voices because they're in the minority. Unfortunately this creates the false perception that they aren't the minority but the majority-- that these people hold the prevailing opinions of our two respective parties. And this false perception only feeds that acrimony and creates an ever growing ever more vicious cycle.

Health Care Reform

2010-03-31T00:01:00.000-07:00

I've heard that the new health care ~~bill~~ law will create 17,000 new jobs....

not doctors, not nurses, but IRS Agents.

Does that mean when/if I get audited I'll also have to drop trou and turn my head and cough?

I've also heard that the math the CBO used to determine the cost of this health care reform was a bit spotty at best. I believe I heard something to the effect that they determined with 10 years of funding we'd be able to pay for 6 years of health care reform and come out with a surplus. How does that work? Is it like metric/standard conversion? I mean, I know that a kilometer is approximately 6/10ths of a mile... So does that mean that in addition to measuring size/depth/volume/etc. we're going to switch to metric to measure time? So 10 metric years will equal 6 standard years? Am I close? It reminds me of Bob & Doug Mackenzie using rather questionable math to determine that a "Metric 6 pack" is actually 24 beers.

Story of a Life

2010-03-29T15:10:00.000-07:00

One of my favorite songs is Harry Chapin's Story of a Life:

I can see myself it's a golden sunrise
Young boy open up your eyes
It's supposed to be your day.
Now off you go horizon bound
And you won't stop until you've found
Your own kind of way.

And the wind will whip your tousled hair,
The sun, the rain, the sweet despair,
Great tales of love and strife.
And somewhere on your path to glory
You will write your story of a life.

The first verses are a beautifully succinct summation of childhood and adolescence. We can relate because we've been "there." There's a youthful idealism and optimism to these opening verses.

And all the towns that you walk through
And all the people that you talk to
Sing you their songs.
And there are times you change your stride,
There are times you can't decide
Still you go on.

People pass in and out of our lives. Many friendships that in our youth and adolescence that we believe will last forever fade-- or as was said in the film St. Elmo's Fire: "Forever got a lot shorter somehow."

And then the young girls dance their gypsy tunes
And share the secrets of the moon
So soon you find a wife.
And though she sees your dreams go poorly
Still she joins your story of a life.

There's a bittersweetness to this verse. The loyalty of the one we choose to spend our life with even after our dreams have come and gone and the reality of adulthood sets in. Companionship ends up trumping our dreams, after all what good are our dreams if we don't have anyone to share them with? What good are life's success if we don't have anyone to celebrate them with? And while life's challenges can be tackled alone, it's always nice to have someone in our corner to cheer us on even when things aren't going the best.

So you settle down and the children come
And you find a place that you come from.
Your wandering is done.
And all your dreams of open spaces
You find in your children's faces
One by one.

Being a father now, this verse hits me harder than it ever had before. The dreams I once had for myself I now have for my daughter. Not that I want to live vicariously through her-- more that my focus has shifted from achieving my own dreams from helping her someday achieve hers.

And all the trips you know you missed
And all the lips you never kissed
Cut through you like a knife.
And now you see stretched out before thee
Just another story of a life.

Admittedly, I'm not quite "here" in my life yet. There are the trips I missed and wonder about and I do sometimes wonder how my life would be different had I ended up with someone else. But inevitably it's a mere curiosity and nothing more. I'm happy with the lips I still get to kiss that I don't need to kiss any more to make sure I've found the right set, I already know.

So what do you do now?
When she looks at you now?
You know those same old jokes all the jesters tell
You tell them to her now.
And all the same old songs all the minstrels sang
You sing 'em to her now.
But it don't matter anyhow
'Cause she knows by now.

As time passes and you spend your life with that special someone she comes to know your quirks, your jokes, your dreams and in some cases she comes to know you better than yourself. And one of the miracles is when you realize that you love one another because of, not in spite of those quirks and flaws.

So every chance you take don't mean a thing.
What variations can you bring
To this shopworn melody.
And every year goes by like a tollin' bell.
It's battered merchandise you sell.
Not well, she can see.
And though she's heard it all a thousand times
Couched in your attempted rhymes
She'll march to your drum and fife.
But the question echoes up before me
Where's the magic story of a life?

These are the verses of my life not yet written for me. There's a bit of cynicism that I hope I'm able to escape when the verses for that stage of my life get written.

Now sometimes words can serve me well
Sometimes words can go to hell
For all that they do.
And for every dream that took me high
There's been a dream that's passed me by.
I know it's so true

Very few of us accomplish all of our dreams and I hope that when the time comes and I start taking stock of my life that there will be more "dreams that took me high" than "dreams that passed me by."

And I can see it clear out to the end
And I'll whisper to her now again
Because she shared my life.
For more than all the ghosts of glory
She makes up the story,
She's the only story
Of my life.

The song closes and puts a smile on my face. There was an episode of Family Ties where the parents, Steven and Elise are talking about how they planned to grow old and when it came to the end they'd just count off "1-2-3-Die" and go simultaneously. Rarely does it pan out this way but it's a sentiment my wife & I have shared since our relationship was still young, fresh, and new.

March For Babies

2010-03-23T08:11:00.000-07:00

Last year-- June 1, 2009, my wife gave birth to a beautiful healthy baby girl, Samantha. Samantha was a very healthy baby but not all couples are so lucky. One of my brothers has 2 children that were premature births (a son, Trevor, born 4 weeks early and a daughter, Katie, born at 7 months), and another of my brothers had a little boy, Jeremiah, with Downs Syndrome, Congenital Heart Disease, and the poor little guy's heart only had 2 of its 4 chambers. Luckily both Katie & Trevor survived. Trevor is 21 and Katie is 18. Sadly, however, Jeremiah died in 1995 at just over 18 months old.

My wife & I may decide to have another child in a few years, once Samantha is a few years older (the thought of having 2 children in diapers simultaneously is not an idea that appeals to either of us) and given some of my family history we may or may not be as lucky the next time around as we have been with Samantha. With all of this in mind both my wife & I have decided to do the March of Dimes March for Babies:

Consistent Rule Enforcement

2010-03-18T09:49:00.000-07:00

As some (many?!) of you know I'm a big hockey fan. There's been a spell of dirty hits of late-- some which have resulted in punishment others which have not.

I have an almost zero tolerance for this kind of violence. Hockey is already a violent sport but even many of the more violent players at least confront one another by dropping their gloves and facing each other. Taking out players from behind is cowardly and shows a complete lack of discipline and class. I feel so strongly about this that the Detroit Red Wings are now one of my FORMER favorite teams. Why? Because they signed Todd Bertuzzi. Bertuzzi should not be in the NHL. A few years ago with the Vancouver Canucks he leveled Steve Moore from behind, paralyzing him and ending his career. Bertuzzi was suspended for the remainder of that season. The Red Wings signed Bertuzzi at one point and let him go only to resign him this past summer. He has no place in hockey as far as I'm concerned and it thoroughly annoys me that the Red Wings are overlooking his blatant and cowardly attack on Steve Moore.

I'm a Penguins fan-- so I'm especially peeved by the hit on the Boston Bruins Marc Savard by the Penguins Matt Cooke. I'm hoping that at the end of the season Cooke gets his walking papers.

This past Sunday Alexander Ovechkin, one of the most talented players in the NHL blindsided the Blackhawks Brian Campbell breaking his collarbone and a few of his ribs. He received a 5 minute major and a game misconduct (resulting in automatic ejection from the game) and a 2 game suspension (with forfeiture of pay).

For a first offense, I think 2 games is almost fair, but Ovechkin is a repeat offender-- this is NOT the first time he's blindsided a player-- heck he did it to Jaromir Jagr (of the Czech Republic) during the Olympics and actually got away with it because Jagr wasn't injured (or at least not seriously so).

And last night James Wisniewski leveled Brent Seabrook of the Chicago Blackhawks... Seabrook didn't even have the puck at the time of the hit. Wisniewski, like Ovechkin, is a repeat offender. His last infraction was last November.

The NHL needs to be stricter and more consistent in their enforcement of the rules and in the punishments handed down for infractions of those rules-- especially when the intent to injure is blatant and obvious. The lack of consistency is leading to a "wild west" style of on ice justice where there are retaliatory strikes ON the ice often because of players going unpunished off the ice for previous infractions. What makes this even more self-perpetuating is that many of these retaliatory strikes are against OTHER players on the team of the offending player-- players that had nothing to do with the dirty hit in the first place. It's even seeped down to sportswriters calling for retaliatory strikes. For example-- for tonight's Boston/Pittsburgh game many sportswriters in Boston are calling for the Bruins to attack Penguins star and captain, Sidney Crosby in retaliation for his teammate, Matt Cooke's hit on Marc Savard that went unpunished by the league... How does that make any sense? Attacking Crosby will only serve to perpetuate this chain of unnecessary violence.

*edit in* Cooke dropped his gloves and took a beating in tonight's game. Penguins won 3-0.

Also Wisniewski was suspended for 8 games for his hit on Brent Seabrook. The reason for the stiff penalty given by the league was that Seabrook did not have the puck at the time of the hit, Wisniewski left his feet (leaping for more/force weight on the hit), and Wisniewski is a repeat offender. This still leaves me scratching my head though-- Alexander Ovechkin also showed intent to injure, also left his feet, and also is a repeat offender but he only received 2 games suspension. Was/is this due to Ovie's "hardware" (a Hart trophy or two for being the league MVP?) If Wisniewski were a better star/bigger name would he have received a lesser suspension? If Ovechkin were less of a star/less of a marquee player would he have received a greater suspension?

Southwest Chili Recipe

2010-03-11T09:36:00.000-08:00

Below is a recipe my wife came up with from Chili. As is usually the case with both my wife & I we found the recipe elsewhere and then tweak it to our personal tastes. This particular recipe came from her WW cookbook. I've left her changes to the recipe intact:

1 lb. Ground Beef
1 pkg. McCormick (or store brand equivalent) Taco Mix (We've noticed Taco Mix is considerably lower in Sodium than Chili Mix)
1 bag frozen corn
2 cans diced or stewed tomatoes
1 lg. (or 2 small) cans of Black Beans
1 medium onion diced
3 cloves garlic (minced)
1 qt. Chicken stock
Salt & Pepper (to taste)

Lightly sautee onion and garlic in frying pan, add to crock pot. Brown ground beef in same pan, pour off grease, add to crock pot with corn, tomatoes, black beans. Add chicken stock last. Set Crock pot to 8 or 10 hour setting. Stir occasionally (about once or twice every 2 hours or so).

My wife also added a bag of mixed frozen vegetables to give it more flavor and color but I’m guessing some of you would say that it’s no longer Chili at that point. Feel free to add Jalapenos or other spices to your personal tastes… You could also substitute beer instead of chicken stock if you so choose (If you do so, I recommend Bohemia, an excellent German style Mexican beer, easily the best Mexican beer I've ever had).

It's in the blood

2010-03-08T13:48:00.001-08:00

I recently started reading Anne LaBastille's Woodswoman IIII. I'd already read and thoroughly enjoyed her Woodswoman and Woodswoman II books a few years ago. So I requested the 3rd and 4th books from the library. As luck would have it the 4th book became available before the third so I'm reading them a bit out of sequence.

All 4 of these books are memoirs. The first 3 cover approximately 10 years each and the last book covers 5 years of Ms. LaBastille's life. The life she has led following her divorce from her first and only husband back in the seventies has been largely a solitary one. She built a small cabin on Black Bear Lake* in the Adirondacks (*a pseudonym to prevent people from finding her actual camp). Her primary company over the years has been a series of German Shepherds.

I do highly recommend the Woodswoman series of books to my female readers. It's not that men won't get something out of her writing as well. I just believe that Ms. LaBastille is quite an inspiration and positive role model for women. I hope to someday introduce these books to my own daughter (once she's old enough to appreciate them).

You may be asking, what drew me to these books or what piqued my interest. Two things-- local interest-- I was literally born in the Adirondack Mountains and raised in a small town just outside the Adirondack State Park. My mother was raised in the Adirondacks. Her father was an avid hunter and fisherman. One of my great grandfathers and great great grandfathers on my father's side were Adirondack guides in the late 19th and early 20th century. My great-great grandfather, Darius Merrill (pictured below), owned a small hotel, The Merrill House on Upper Chateaugay Lake. Darius died from exposure/hypothermia at age 57 in 1887 after his dog sled went through the ice.

My great grandfather, Watson (pictured below) along with his brothers Charles and Shep took over the Merrill House after their father's passing.One of my older cousins who knew my grandmother better than I, told me the tale as it had been told to her by our grandmother that Watson died of a broken heart. My great-grandmother, Frankie Davis Merrill died in 1918. Watson, not being able to live without the love of his life died a few months later. My grandmother was only about 15 at the time and was raised into adulthood by her older sister, Sadie, before she met and married my grandfather in 1924.

At any rate, while I know the life of a female Adirondack guide in the late 20th century was likely considerably different from that of the male guides of the late 19th and early 20th century Ms. LaBastille did befriend some of the older guides-- men in their 80s and 90s who were raised by guides themselves and shared with her the tales of a different era. Thus her books give me at least a glimpse of the lives of some of my ancestors.

But the book I long to read-- originally published in serial form in many Adirondack newspapers in the twenties and thirties, The Old Guide's Story written by my great great uncle Charles Merrill (my great grandfather's brother) those serials were compiled in book form in 1973 or 74 but that printing of The Old Guide's Story remained largely out of print (and thus quite expensive when able to find a copy) for over 30 years when a local history buff decided to re-publish the book. My parents & I actually helped him by contributing some family photos to him that had been left to us by my late grandmother.

My parents have copies of both the 1974 and 2006 printings. For some reason I never got around to reading the book in my 18+ years living under the same roof as my parents that is something I regret and hope to rectify soon.

What don't the Cleveland Browns need?

2010-03-05T13:42:00.001-08:00

This morning before work I was reading an article on my favorite football team, the Cleveland Browns and found this bit amusing:

The Browns have made no secret about what they need. They want to upgrade quarterback, wide receiver, the offensive line and running back on offense. They could use a tight end, too. They need an inside linebacker, an outside linebacker, a cornerback, a safety and an end on defense.

If you read between the lines the only positions the Browns don't need are kick-off/punt returner and kicker/punter.

So the Browns are re-building their team around Josh Cribbs and Phil Dawson.

This should make for an interesting off-season.

Toto bassist Mike Porcaro diagnosed with ALS

2010-03-02T11:21:00.001-08:00

As many of you know, one of my favorite bands is Toto. I recently learned that their long-time bass player, Mike Porcaro, has been diagnosed with ALS (Lou Gehrig's Disease).

Mike was not Toto's original bass player. In 1980 then bass player, David Hungate, decided to retire from touring. So Mike was asked to join his brothers Steve (on keyboards) and Jeff (on drums) in Toto... at least on the road. Following the success of Toto IV, David Hungate decided to retire from the band altogether and became one of the most in demand session bass players in Nashville. Mike officially became a full member of the band at that point.

I saw Toto live but once in their 30+ year career. It was a chilly November night at the House of Blues in Chicago on their Falling In Between tour. Mike was there, sitting on a stool playing bass like a trouper. He did not look comfortable but he played like a true champ. I later found out that he was having medical issues even then (2006).

A few years ago I had the pleasure of interviewing one of Mike's former bandmates, vocalist Joseph Williams, on the telephone. He regaled me with the following tale of Mike Porcaro:

...when we walked out on stage during that same tour in Hanover, Germany and Mike Porcaro slipped and shattered his elbow before we had even played the first note and he put the bass over his shoulders and manged to get through about four tunes and then he just couldn't do it any longer and Jeff had to get up and go stand out in front of the audience and tell them that Mike had broken his arm and that we were gonna have to stop and that was actually the last show on the Fahrenheit tour. And Mike was taken to a doctor and [he] put a cast on his arm and we all came home and that was the end of that tour.

In light of Mike's illness, some former members of Toto including guitarist Steve Lukather, keyboardists David Paich and Steve Porcaro, vocalist Joseph Williams, drummer Simon Phillips, and special guest Nathan East on bass are getting together for a small European tour to raise money to help pay for some of Mike's medical bills (the disease has already started to adversely affect his ability to play bass-- his livelihood. He sat out the band's final tour in 2008 on doctor's orders).

This tour will be the first time that Steve Porcaro has toured with Toto since their 1997 mini reunion tour and only the 2nd time touring with Toto since he left the band in the eighties. It's also the first time David Paich will have toured with Toto since 2002 or 2003. He retired from touring for undisclosed family reasons at that time and was replaced on the road by grammy winning keyboardist, Greg Phillenganes.

It's interesting to note that this band is more "Toto" than the band that was on the 2008 farewell tour which only had 2 original members (one of which, Bobby Kimball, had been fired in 1984 and re-hired in 1998). This tour will feature 3 original members (Paich, Lukather, and Steve Porcaro) not to mention fan favorite vocalist Joseph Williams (Toto's lead vocalist from 1986-1989). I wish they were playing some dates in the US... Hopefully they'll release a live album from this tour with some of the proceeds going to either help out Mike and his family or possibly to some ALS medical research foundation.

Congratulations to Team Canada (for my Canadian readers)

2010-03-01T15:17:00.000-08:00

In honour of Team Canada's Gold Medal Win yesterday my daughter just wanted to say Congratulations and show that she's just as gracious in defeat as in victory:

2010-02-23T19:35:00.001-08:00

With all the cowbells, I bet Christopher Walken just loves the Winter Olympics...

Hangin' out at the Shedd

2010-02-08T06:31:00.000-08:00

Apparently the company I work for gives generously to the Shedd Aquarium here in Chicago... so generously that the Shedd Aquarium offered free admission to all employees plus up to 3 guests. For an extra $6.95/person we were able to upgrade our ticket to get us into the Oceanarium as well. My wife & I have some close friends who have a 2 year old and a 15 month old so we invited them along. Since all of our kids are under 3 they all got in free.

We did still have to pay for parking and the nearest covered parking for the Shedd Aquarium is the North Parking garage of Soldier Field. From there, being on the lake, in the winter, on a chilly day, well to say the 2-3 block walk to the Aquarium was "brisk" would be a gross understatement.

Once we got inside we took my daughter out of the stroller and carried her. so she could better see the fish, frogs, turtles, dolphins, penguins, and Beluga whales. She talked to many of the fish she saw. She also quite enjoyed the penguins and had a nice chat with them (although I doubt they could hear her through the thick glass).

Her most common word is "Da da da da da", and while yes it sounds like she's saying "Dada" and was saying that while I was holding her, she also says that when my wife is holding her, when she's pointing at her high chair, lamps, my in-laws cat, and just about anything and everything else you can imagine. She does sometimes say "mamamama" too and a few times it has been in the correct context and this weekend she did utter "Gampa" but neither of her grandfathers were present at the time. I think she knows that "Dada", "Mama", and "Gampa" are words but I don't think she's quite grasped their context or meaning just yet. I'll take what I can get though, and I do find it adorable that she says "Da da" in such a way that she sounds like she's excited to be telling you the world's greatest secret. It comes out as an ecstatic little whisper.

Well anyway the Aquarium-- I do have one somewhat serious complaint-- it is not at all stroller friendly (and thus would not be wheelchair friendly either). At one point we were at the lowest level of the Oceanarium. We were told that in order to get to the cafeteria we would have to take the elevator UP two floors walk down the hall, and take a different elevator back down 1 floor. The elevators were just large enough for two strollers... and there were a lot of people with strollers there, thus there were usually lines for the elevators. It got to the point where we were just carrying the strollers up and down stairs-- an inconvenience for us, but dowrnight impossible for those in wheelchairs.

We did check out "Fantasea", the Shedd's show featuring dolphins, Beluga whales, a hawk, and penguins. During the intro video that was shown we heard, "People come from around the world come to Chicago specifically to see the Shedd Aquarium." As Jerry Seinfeld would say, "Who ARE these people?" Maybe I've been spoiled by the Monterey Bay Aquarium, Sea World (Orlando, FL), and Marineland (St. Augustine, FL) but to me the Shedd was not an Aquarium I would consider to be THE reason for coming to Chicago. Maybe one of many reasons, it might make the top 10, but I doubt it would even crack my top 5.

At any rate, it was almost as amusing to us as the time we went on a lake shore boat tour at Navy Pier with a friend from out of town and during the safety schpiel before the tour started it was mentioned that the weather on Lake Michigan can turn into "a fierce maelstrom" on a moment's notice (which is especially funny to hear on a bright sunny July day... when the boat doesn't even venture outside the breakwater).

Is our government merely a corporation that's "too big to fail?"

2010-02-04T07:40:00.000-08:00

What is the return on investment the American people get from paying taxes into our government? If we think of government as a corporation-- is it one that's too big to fail? Are we in this mess not because we had to bail out some institutions in the private sector but because the Chinese have continually had to bail-out our government?

Maybe the best way to force fiscal restraint on Congress is to force them into Chapter 11 bankruptcy restructuring.

I believe there is, on some level, a culture of entitlement that exists with those who hold public offices. Serving the American people isn't a right or entitlement, it's a responsibility. Running for office is a right. But actually getting elected that has to be earned and once it has been earned it comes with the responsibility to serve one's constituents to the best of one's abilities.

A vote should never be given freely, it should be earned. And sadly, on some level I believe that's been forgotten and in forgetting that our government has lost much of its accountability.

Ideologically I'll admit my politics are conservative. But my ideologies do not guarantee my vote for those whose ideologies fall in line with mine or with those who claim their ideologies fall in line with mine... Just because we share the elephant as our mascot does not guarantee my vote...
My vote has to be earned... I will not give of it freely. Voting is a social contract between myself and the person I vote for-- it says I entrust the person I am voting for to serve the American people to the best of his/her abilities and to act in the best interests of the American public. And thus the vote is more than just a vote-- it's a sign of respect and trust... and respect and trust should be earned.

Anyway, back to viewing our government as a corporation-- this November we have the opportunity for a changing of the guard if you will. Many that sit in Congress have lost sight of how they got their and who they serve. We have the opportunity to elect a new "board of directors" if you will that hopefully can steer "the company" out of the red and back into the black. I won't tell you who to vote for-- that's a personal contract between you and the person to whom you give your vote. All I ask, as a fellow American, is that you don't give your vote freely. Make those who seek our votes earn your vote as I implore those same people to earn my vote.

In the end different people may earn our respective votes, but if we hold ourselves more accountable in the voting process it will in turn make for a more accountable electorate.

Great Southern Land

2010-02-02T06:51:00.000-08:00

I once had a discussion with a friend about having a "spiritual home"-- it's not necessarily the place where you were born or raised, nor is it necessarily anywhere that you've passed through on your life's journey. Personally, I'm not sure where my "spiritual home" is. For much of my life I thought it was Chicago-- but here I am living in the Chicago 'burbs and the sense of "home" I once felt for this area I find fading as time passes. The lustre has faded and I'm starting to feel a draw elsewhere...

Those who know me well know of my fascination with Australia-- their culture, their history, their music, their literature.

I'm not entirely sure where this fascination comes from, but I'd venture a guess that it's somehow tied to spending my most formative years in the eighties-- a time when there was a general interest and fascination in Australian culture and music. It was an era when Aussie bands like AC/DC, Little River Band, the Bee Gees, Men at Work, Crowded House, and INXS were starting to get airplay. Former Australian rules footballer, Mark "Jacko" Jackson, became a spokesman for Energizer batteries, the Crocodile Dundee films were big hits and even US sitcoms like The Facts of Life did a run of episodes about taking a trip to Australia.

I was still in diapers when Little River Band and the Bee Gees were starting to make a splash in the US. I was in kindergarten when Men at Work became popular. I remember the youngest of my older brothers-- the only of my siblings still living at home in the early eighties owned both Men at Work albums on cassette and I recall they were played frequently. My parents subscribed to the Disney Channel around 1984. One of my favorite shows was Five Mile Creek about an American woman who followed her husband to Australia in the 19th century and moves in with an Aussie woman running a small stagecoach stop in the Australian bush. I remember Michael Caton as Paddy Malone wearing his trademark derby. There was something about that show that spoke to me even at a young age. Incidentally the show also introduced a young Nicole Kidman to the world.

I believe I was in third or fourth grade when Crocodile Dundee came out and I was in fifth or sixth grade when Crocodile Dundee II was released. I was likely in the minority as, of the two of those films, I preferred the second over the first. Much more of it was set and filmed in Australia than the first. I preferred seeing people out of their element in Australia over seeing an Australian out of his element in Manhattan. When I was about 11 or 12 years old, INXS was starting to make a huge splash with their Kick album featuring their hits Need You Tonight and Never Tear Us Apart. My first celebrity crush was Aussie singer, Kylie Minogue with her hit cover of the classic The Locomotion.

My interest in Australia has carried over into adulthood. I've gone out of my way to get to know other Australian music-- stuff like The Cruel Sea, Dragon, Hunters & Collectors, Australian Crawl, James Reyne, Jimmy Barnes, Cold Chisel, Jo Jo Zep and the Falcons, Icehouse, Sherbet, Skyhooks, Redgum, Paul Kelly, Mondo Rock, and Goanna (to name but a small handful). I've sought out Australian films like Two Hands, He Died With a Felafel In His Hand (mediocre movie based on an excellent book of the same name by John Birmingham), Walkabout, Chopper, Strictly Ballroom, The Castle, Rabbit-Proof Fence, Ned Kelly (the most recent version with Heath Ledger) and Romulus My Father to name but a handful. And heck I've even watched every single episode of Kath & Kim (we Americans attempted to remake that one, it was an unmitigated disaster without the comic sensibilities and timing of Gina Riley & Jane Turner).

I've even read a decent chunk of Robert Hughes The Fatal Shore: The Epic of Australia's Founding, all of John Birmingham's He Died With a Felafel In His Hand, and the late A.B. Facey's A Fortunate Life.

But I don't think this fascination with Australia can solely be attributed to a period of my life when there was a swell in Australiana here in the United States. There's something in me that tells me this runs much deeper--an unseen but rather consuming force drawing me to the Great Southern Land. And at the same time there's something telling me that once I go there, I won't want to return.

Sammie's favorite toy/Burning the Midnight Oil II: Still Not Tired!

2010-01-29T06:39:00.000-08:00

So one of my daughter's favorite toys is Daddy's face. She loves the putty like stretchability of my cheeks, and those lovely handles on the side of my head known colloquially as "ears" and my nose... don't even get me started there.

She squeals with delight as she stretches, bends, and twists my facial bits.

Due to taking a later afternoon nap than usual she was burning the midnight oil again last night. She did not want to go to bed. I told her the story of Hansel & Gretel (as best I could from memory), I read her a couple of her books, I even sang her a lullaby (an actual lullaby, not my old standbys: neither Lola by the Kinks nor John Jacob Jingleheimerschmitt) but she wasn't having any of that. So I let her play with her favorite toy for a bit, I tried to get her to lay down, I tried turning out the lights... none of it was working.

Finally my wife & I put her on our bed between us and turned out the lights... at that point it became a race to see who would fall asleep first-- her or us. She was more tired than she realized and was out within a few minutes.

On Gay Marriage

2010-01-27T06:38:00.000-08:00

I'm not gay, nor are my feelings about this issue particularly strong. I have no intention to offend but I do plan on addressing this issue with a somewhat detached and more logical/less emotional approach.

This issue exists largely due to what I consider to be a violation of the first amendment. The institution of marriage is both a religious and legal one thus crossing the line that separates church and state. As such I believe the best way to "untangle" this issue is to leave "marriage" as a religious institution and going forward refer to all "legal marriages" as civil unions regardless of whether those unions are between two people of the same or of opposite genders.

During his first term, George W. Bush, in a move that inevitably contributed to his losing my vote to his Libertarian competitor, suggested a Constitutional Amendment defining marriage as between a man and a woman. Such an amendment would be a violation of both the 1st and 10th amendments. Defining a religious institution-- in this case marriage, is a violation of freedom of religion. The government has no place telling members of the clergy who they can and can't perform marriages for. And it would be a violation of the 10th amendment, as last I checked there is no language within the US Constitution granting the government the power to define marriage.

Leave marriage to the churches, let them sort it out for themselves.

Now on to the legal side of things... People in Civil Unions should be granted the same rights across the board regardless of the genders of the two parties in the marriage. And, in an effort to silence the "slippery slope" argument civil unions should be defined by the States (not the federal government, this again goes back to that pesky 10th amendment) as the union of two people. No inter-species unions, no polygamous unions... if one is a member of a church that recognizes polygamy that church is welcome to recognize that marriage (provided no other laws-- incest, child abuse, etc. are being broken) but the people in that "marriage" would have to realize that legally only one of the people they are married to can be recognized as their legal partner.

I know I may catch some heat for this one... and these are just ideas... they aren't fully fleshed out yet. I welcome all comments-- positive and negative. But if you're going to be negative please at least be constructive about it.

Colts Win, Saints Win, My Daughter Wins...

2010-01-25T07:26:00.000-08:00

Considering my team (the Cleveland Browns) had a 5-11 season and were generally one of the laughingstocks of the NFL I really didn't have much of a vested interest in either of yesterday's games. I was happy when Baltimore was defeated (as next to the Steelers, the Ravens are my least favorite team-- as is the case with most Browns fans). But with Pittsburgh missing the playoffs and Baltimore being eliminated already I had no strong feelings about any of the teams playing... So I'll skip the first two and go straight to the third match-up of the evening...

My wife & I have been blessed with a daughter who is generally a good sleeper. For the most part she's been sleeping through the night every night since she was about 5 or 6 weeks old. Initially it was for about 6 hours straight, but by the time she was 3 or 4 months old it's been more like 8 to 9 hours straight. So once she's asleep, we're generally "golden."

Getting her to sleep in the first place is a different story. Last night she did NOT want to go to bed. We know the tell tale signs that she's tired; the rubbing of the eyes, the yawning, the drooping eyelids... And after her bath last night she was exhibiting all of those signs. So we put her to bed. That was about 8:30

She may have dozed off, but she couldn't have fallen into night's sweet embrace yet as around 9 we heard the tell-tale whimpering coming over the baby monitor. I snuck up and tiptoed into her room to put her pacifier back in her mouth. That often works. She'll usually drift right back to sleep.

So I gave her her pacifier and started to sneak out the door, but in the darkness what should I see? Her head popped up like a jack in the box (she had been sleeping on her stomach) turned and looked at me over the bumper through the slats in her crib, her lip quivering. She had the symptoms of a cry coming on. But I snuck out of the room anyway-- wishing and hoping she'd just lay back down and fall asleep. Just two or three steps down the hallway towards the stairs and a full on wail comes from her room. So I returned, picked her up and attempted to soothe her back to sleep.

I thought I was successful, I really did. So I laid her back in her crib and before I even have a chance to step away her head is back up her eyes are looking at me all sad and that lip is quivering again... How can I resist that?! How can any father? So I pick her back up and take her back downstairs with me. As we pass a mirror in the hallway I notice her face light up like a Christmas tree as if to say, "HA HA! I won!"

This continued several times (and each time we'd get the victory grin from her when walking by the upstairs mirror)... by midnight the score was Daughter 6, Parents 0. Around 12:15 my wife told me to go to bed and that she'd get her to sleep. So that I did. I wasn't quite fully asleep when my wife finally came to bed so I took a peek at the clock... 1:15 am!!!

My wife & I were both night-owls growing up. We believe this is just God's way of balancing things out a bit...

The skies are Brown over Massachusetts

2010-01-21T08:42:00.000-08:00

*I'm about to get political, for those who are apolitical or consider blogging to be an escape from things like politics may want to skip this post. However, please keep in mind my tone is more informational/analytical and less confrontational-- I leave the confrontational politics to the pundits on CNN, FoxNews, and talk radio*

I know the recent election of Scott Brown to the US Senate throws a monkey-wrench into the current health care reform bills. And I also know that a lot of mis and disinformation about health care has been put out there by BOTH sides.

Regardless of where on the political spectrum you fall, most Americans believe there is a need for health care reform. That includes both Democrats and (despite the insinuations of the Democratic leaders in Congress) Republicans as well. The difference is largely in the approach of how to reform health care.

In the days leading up to Brown's Massachusetts victory, Rep. Steny Hoyer, was suggesting that the House should pass the Senate bill as it's "better than nothing." This is an idea I take serious umbrage with. This is my health, your health, our collective health that we're talking about. And if our government is going to reform health care I sure as hell don't want them settling for "better than nothing."

Much of the criticism of the current bills is tied to a belief that it's unconstitutional-- how you may ask? Largely due to the 10th Amendment:

The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or to the people.

The argument against the current bills (both the House and Senate bills) is that there is nothing in the Constitution giving the government the power to intervene in health care... that being said there's also nothing in the Constitution preventing individual states from coming up with their own health care plans (like Massachusetts has already done-- which is either a resounding success or a glaring failure depending on who you talk to).

Incidentally Massachusetts current health care plan has been cited as a reason for why Brown beat Coakley. The federal plan is modeled after the Massachusetts plan (incidentally that plan was put in place by then governor, Mitt Romney-- a Republican). Those in Massachusetts who don't like "Romneycare" (as it has been billed) certainly don't want the plan spread nationwide and even many who DO like Romneycare don't necessarily want it spread nationwide because it's been shown that the federal plan is more expensive than the existing state plan. Thus their costs would be going up.

As many of you know, I listen to a bit of talk radio on my morning and evening commutes. Out of curiosity last night on my evening commute I chose to listen to progressive talk radio host, Ron Reagan (the son of a much more conservative former president) to get the liberal spin on Scott Brown's recent election win in Massachusetts.

What I heard was a certain level of disgust and disdain for our Democratic Congress. Apparently the mood on Capitol Hill over Brown's election is one of relief. The idea being, "Now we don't have to fight so hard for health care. When it doesn't pass we can just blame it on the Republicans." There was a general tone of frustration over the general mood of defeat and resignation that now exists in Washington in light of Brown's election.

Progressives are generally hardcore bleeding hearts. They WANT the public option they want a lot of the things in the health care bill that had to be taken out for the Senate to get their 60 votes and they're frustrated with Congress for not putting up more of a fight. They're pissed that Congress was so hell-bent on getting those 60 votes they haven't even attempted "reconciliation" which would forego the need for 60 votes and the bill could pass with a simple majority instead.

Another interesting point that was discussed on Reagan's radio show was a complaint of Obama's failure to effectively communicate the message of health care reform. I find this interesting because many Republicans have the same complaint of George W. Bush's handling of the War in Iraq (and to a lesser extent, the War in Afghanistan)-- ineffective communication of the message (the reasons why we went to war, etc.)

For those who are still befuddled over how the Democrats could manage to lose not only a senate seat, but the one held by Ted Kennedy, the liberal lion, for over 40 years (and by his brother, John, before that) in Massachusetts-- one of the most liberal states in the Union, I believe The Wall Street Journal put it best. The Democrats in Congress misread the results of the 2006 and 2008 elections as a shift in ideology. In reality it was merely a shift in party. The ideology of a majority of Americans is generally centrist or slightly right of center. That hasn't changed.

In 1994 Republicans gained control of both houses of Congress with the Contract with America. The trouble is that the Republican Congress initially elected in 1994 breached that contract. I may be wrong here, but I believe most Americans still like many of the principles put forth in that contract... Principles that BOTH parties are guilty of not only ignoring but blatantly disregarding-- things like fiscal responsibility, transparency, and accountability.

When was the last time the US Congress exhibited any of those principles?

Randomness

2010-01-20T13:41:00.001-08:00

My wife & I have this "game." When she goes grocery shopping without me she'll ask me to guess how much she spent. I'm normally right in the ballpark with my guesses. She's only stumped me once or twice over the years. But today I think takes the cake... My guess was only $.18 off! (Yes I guess down to the cent. I started doing it just to be a smart ass but it's kind of caught on since).

I was $.18 over, otherwise I'd be doing my best to get on The Price is Right (in order to win the Showcase Showdown you have to guess the amount closer than the other contestant "without going over"). Oh well!

Did the travel thang over the weekend-- out to Fort Wayne to visit my brother and his family. This was their first time seeing the kidlet. She is an awesome little traveler. She slept most of the way there... and then we couldn't get her to bed until about 1 am. She was all smiles and took particular interest in my brother & sister-in-law's 2 dogs-- a toy poodle (about 5 or 6 years old) and a Golden Retriever/Poodle pup (about 12 weeks old). Both dogs were very good with her as well. My 18 year old niece and 21 year old nephew also thoroughly enjoyed holding and playing with the wee one.

I spoke with one of my sisters on the phone last week before my wife & I took this trip. She mentioned she was jealous and really wants to see the wee spudlet before she's a wobbly wee toddler. After receiving the Christmas photos from us, my other sister wants to fly out to see the little one. She's jealous of her husband who was out here on business last June and got to hold Sammie when she was less than 2 weeks old.

Crazy Old Uncle Pat...

2010-01-15T13:32:00.000-08:00

As many of you know, I'm a self-confessed conservative. And one of my fellow conservatives-- a very visible and vocal conservative no less said some rather abhorrent things the other day:

“They (Haitians) were under the heel of the French…and they got together and swore a pact to the devil. They said ‘We will serve you’…and so, the devil said ‘Okay, it’s a deal’ and kicked the French out”, “They need to have…a great turning to God,”

I just want to turn this on its head a bit. Lets look at liberals and conservatives as two families. Pat Robertson is that crazy old uncle that spouts off all manner of nonsense but most of us in his family either humor him or just roll our eyes and ignore him. He doesn't shock the rest of us in the family any more as we've come to expect his kookiness. Some of us even understand his kooky logic (but keep in mind "understanding" and "agreeing with" are two VERY different creatures entirely-- as in "Uncle Pat, I understand where you're coming from but I still consider what you're saying to be bat guano craziness!")

On the other hand, those outside the family, those Liberals over on the left side of the street aren't used to Crazy Old Uncle Pat like those of us in his family are. And because he's in such a high profile position some of our neighbors over on the left side of the street might get the idea that crazy old Uncle Pat is speaking for the whole family when he utters his nonsense.

The moral of the story is... consider the source.

Unconventional lullabies

2010-01-12T20:09:00.000-08:00

My daughter was a little fussy when I tried to put her to bed this evening so I opted to sing to her. I had two songs stuck in my head and neither were really lullabies (but I figure any song can be a lullaby if you sing it right).

"I met her in a club down in old SoHo
Where you drink champagne and it tastes just like
Cherry Cola
Cee-Oh-El-Ay Cola..."

that didn't seem right to me so instead I went with...

"John Jacob Jingleheimerschmitt his name is my name too
Whenever we go out
The people always shout
There goes John Jacob Jingleheimerschmitt!
tra la la la la la la la..."

I'll Have the Mashed Potatoes & Gravy... What do you mean you're out of Potaotes?!

2010-01-12T13:46:00.000-08:00

I know I've been somewhat absent lately. It's not the words escape me. They're all still there stuck in my head waiting to get out. But prose can't exist on flowery adjectives, colorful similes, and vibrant metaphors alone. As far as writing is concerned lately I've felt like an order of mashed potatoes and gravy without the potatoes... I've got all this tasty gravy stuck in my head but I'm missing the potatoes... oh and the meat too.

I'm not sure what has caused my recent literary potato blight. And I have been trying to grow some new "potatoes." None have seemed to take root, at least not yet.

The one aspect of my life that is consuming much of my time lately is fatherhood. But I don't feel right writing about that. I treasure my special moments with my wife & daughter, I enjoy watching her milestones and all the special moments we share. But I also tend to believe there's something to be said for keeping those moments to ourselves... it makes them feel more special. Not to mention, the intensity of emotion I feel for my daughter and the extreme happiness I have when spending time with her defies the English language. That is to say, even if I wanted to write about fatherhood, I couldn't. The words don't exist. At least not in English, and short of learning Esperanto or some other obscure language I don't forsee that being a possibility in the future either.

But I am still here, a living breathing carbon-based life-form. I'm still a writer at heart. I still have the words inside me. And as soon as I have some meat or potatoes for the literary gravy swirling in the gravy boat of my mind I'll regain some semblance of a creative flair. In the mean time, flask of gravy, anyone?

Brand New Day

2010-01-11T07:35:00.000-08:00

This morning on the way to work I popped in a CD as I wasn't in the mood for the drone of talk radio I often listen to on my morning commutes. The first song to play was Al Kooper's Brand New Day from his Easy Does It album. It really started my day on an upbeat note:

Last night I had a dream that the world was changin’ by leaps and bounds
It started up in the bigger cities and it spread to the smaller towns
The people began to small at people that they never even seen
And when Jeremiah woke me up, I was ready to live that dream

Well it’s a brand new day
Brand new way
Brand new day
Uhh-huhhh
Give it to me!
Alright!

You know the mother called the father on the telephone
She cried “My God I’m so upset”
She said “The boy left home naked this mornin’ all he took was the TV set”
Then the sister picked up the extension and she said, “He’s just doin’ his thing.”
Then the father hung up on the mother
And the children began to sing

Well it’s a brand new day
Yessir, brand new way
Brand new day
Uhh-huhhh
We’ve got to put our heads together
And see where we’re goin’ from there
We’ve got to fight for what we believe in
‘Cause there’s somethin’ in the air

It’s a brand new day
That’s right
Brand new way
Brand new day
I can feel it growin’ stronger every minute now

Twenty million shadows stormin’ at the gates
Now how can you be surprised?
With the image of the fallen four reflected in their eyes
Though twenty million tongues are shoutin’ out it’s only heard by a precious few
But the years of night will pass forever when the sun comes shinin’ through

On a brand new day
Brand new way
Yessir, brand new day
Hey, people you know that it’s a brand new day
Brand new way
Brand new way of walkin’
Brand new day
Yessir, brand new way

It’s alright
Yes it’s alright
It’s alright now
It’s alright
And it’s alright
Yes it’s alright
And it’s alright

I'm guessing that the "fallen four" that Kooper sings of, are the four students killed at Kent State in 1970 (considering Easy Does It came out in '70). But even in light of his mention of that tragedy, Kooper's attitude is one that's upbeat and optimistic for the future-- a message that is generally rather timeless. And it's a considerably more upbeat way to start my day than listening to political talk radio and the gripefest about Harry Reid.

Now the key is to hold on to that upbeat optimism throughout the rest of the week. After all, ever day is a "brand new day" and there's no need to dwell on the negatives of the past or worrying about things that haven't yet happened. The only thing you're ever fully in control of is the present. Take care of the present on this brand new day and the future, you'll find, will sort itself out. As for the past, what's done is done. You can't change it, so rather than dwell on how things could have been better... it's best to make them better now.

Could pistachios be considered "health nuts" or does that only refer to fitness junkies?

2010-01-08T09:07:00.000-08:00

Every year my company does this Body Overhaul Challenge to try to help people who are trying to lose weight. People either choose teams or are put on teams with similar weight loss goals. Last year about this time I was about 10 lbs. overweight so I decided to participate. By the end of the program I'd thrown in the towel. Somehow, I'd not only managed to not lose any weight... I'd actually somehow GAINED weight. By the time the program ended I was almost 20 lbs. overweight... about 5-7 lbs. HEAVIER than when I started. ACK!

Since the program ended (last April or so), I have buckled down and started eating smarter (reducing portion sizes, snacking less frequently, etc.) and this year I'm actually only about 2-4 lbs. from my target weight (the ideal weight for a person of my height). So between April and January I not only managed to lose the 5-7 lbs. I'd gained on the program last year, I also lost most of the weight I was trying to lose in the first place.

Go figure!

That being said I do still want to maintain my healthy weight and diet and I'd like to build some strength. My triglycerides are traditionally high and my good cholesterol is too low. Since my diet is much closer to how it should be that leaves exercise as the best solution to get my triglycerides and good cholesterol back where they need to be.

(PS: A serious note regarding the title of this post... some nuts actually do contain a chemical that act as an appetite suppresant... Technically almonds could be considered "health nuts" as I've read that they carry traditionally higher amounts of that chemical than other nuts. That being said eating too many nuts isn't good for you either. So if you want to use nuts as an appetite supressant, stick to the recommended serving sizes listed on the packages)

Inquiring minds want to know...

2010-01-06T09:40:00.000-08:00

Some interesting questions have been posed on some of the blogs I read:

If so many people on dating sites list "long walks on the beach" as an interest why aren't the beaches of the world far more crowded?

How do blind people clean up the messes of their seeing eye dogs? For that matter how do they know when to stop wiping when using the restroom? scented toilet paper, perhaps?

Inquiring minds want to know...

Attack of the Killer Bran Muffin

2010-01-05T06:52:00.000-08:00

Yesterday before I left for work, I snarfed down a bran muffin from my wife's most recent batch. Before I even left for work there was something rotten in Denmark (if my stomach can be described as Denmark in any way shape or form). Initially, I ignored it. I figured I could soldier through the day and whatever it was would pass. As time passed I grew increasingly less comfortable with the proposition of "toughing it out."

That slight discomfort grew, my skin developed a rather ghostly and sickly pallor and I decided to throw in the towel and head home early.

My boss took one look at me and asked if I was okay to drive home. I replied that thankfully with such a short commute, that shouldn't be an issue.

Unfortunately, the traffic Gods were conspiring against me. It seemed every traffic light I came to had just turned red, forcing me to wait through the entire light cycle before being able to continue my journey home. Meanwhile my stomach was protesting more and more. The pain was near excrutiating, I was lightheaded and the nausea was laying seige to me.

Finally, I made it home. I literally staggered in the door. My wife took one look at me and her face fell. The pain was so intense I had trouble describing to my wife what exactly was going on. After removing my coat and shoes I literally staggered to the upstairs bathroom to re-enact a scene from The Exorcist.

Feeling quite drained from the ordeal I laid down for a nap. And luckily that allowed my body to fight off what was left off the demons that had plagued me all morning.

Another year over, a new one just begun...

2010-01-03T15:05:00.000-08:00

The holidays have come and gone. It's been a bit bittersweet. All of that build-up and within moments the wrapping paper is in shreds on the floor and for all the toys my daughter received her first Christmas she was considerably more interested in playing with the wrapping paper than what was wrapped in it.

There was something quite special seeing Christmas through her eyes, almost like experiencing it for the first time all over again. There was a tremendous sense of wonder and joy the whole day.

After opening gifts at home we went over to my in-laws to open yet more gifts and to spend the rest of the day with them. It was their first Christmas with a grandchild so it was quite special for them as well. I also wrote in my Daddy/Daughter journal for the first time since July! (Around the time she was born my wife & I both started writing letters to our daughter in hardback journals with the intention of giving those journals to her when she's old enough to enjoy them. It's just a little something special we want her to have when she starts on her journey into adulthood, a bit of reminder of her youthful innocence in the hopes she'll hold on to that innocence as long as possible). At any rate I was long overdue in writing a letter.

Looking ahead to the new year, I'm looking forward to seeing a whole new string of firsts for my daughter, to experience things for the first time all over again as I watch them through her eyes with wonder and amazement.